Sunday Funday!

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Mostly I’ve been sitting indoors in front of the computer. Editing. I did go to the “jump & dance” group session I’ve joined a couple of times lately. It’s interesting how I feel no fear to this now. I’m simply getting comfortable with it! The usual self-judging thoughts of my ill coordination – no more.

That is UNTIL a girl I found attractive ended up standing next to me. Instivncley my overthinking brain took over.  Self-Judging thoughts.

“Man, you suck at this. Not the arms that way, the other way. Oh, can you see how she’s looking at you? And it’s not in the damn-I-look-good-today way.”

Although I quikly managed to speak myself out of that behaviour it and NOT care as much.  Very good practice. Indeed. I care about my progress and having fun. In this context.

Routine #2 – One New Thing

Practised doing handstands at my gym. Breaking the regular workout routine after the group work out . And then I actually sat my as down on the bike and read some. Nice. Very nice.

I’ve started to implement a reading habit before allowing to go to sleep. As soon as I lie down, I need to read at least one page. Been doing so for 4 days in a row now. Gives me an urge to go to bed!

If you want a short summary video on how to implement new habits, this one is a good one:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LdhudFvJuE

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail

I LOVE when I get to have a nice editing project to just embrace myself in. I’ve been editing Friday evening, all day yesterday, and all day long today. Minus some workout and running down to the stores to by some stuff for perhaps 1 hour. I’m having real fun with it, and it surprises me how I can get so caught up in this state of flow. BUT, I also had a plan to ask the gym girl I approached a couple of weeks back, out for a walk again. I keep deprioritizing my social life/relationships, and I know that’s not sustainable.

But, I don’t really know if I can call this weekend a fail or a win. It’s been amazing, still. I know I have some issues with the way I live my life that I really need to figure out! There’s a reason for why I haven’t been dating anyone seriously for years now. And I want to change that, but that requires changing my life… Tough one.

See you tomorrow, Fear facer,

/Alex

SATURDAY! I’m in love.

Yes. In Life. In myself. In all the people around me. In the possibilities that lie in front of me. All I need to do is to act on all these chances of making life happen. Every day. I can do that?

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

In last nights blog post I challenged myself to do an Instagram post, since it’s gone way too long time since last time. So I did that. Felt good.  Doubled the fear by facing some squat agony at the same time. Gotdamn they are a pain in the but, but man does it feel good afterwards.

I’ll update the post as the day progresses. Right now I’m having SO MUCH FUN EDITING YESTERDAYS #MINIADVENTURE.

Routine #2 – New Thing(s)

– ARHARHRHAHRGH

I got a mini shot bottle pumped with 180 mg of caffeine. I only get caffeine from Tea. And I I’m restrained with my use of it. Taking that little bottle today, this morning, HYPERLAPSED ME INTO A OVERLY ENERGIZED STATE. IT’S REALLY FUN. 2 HOUR AMAZING WORKOUT. FUN FUN FUN.

 

 

Routine #2 – Daily Fail ( updated )

Failed to finish the blog post and write this thing. Learning? If you pre-post, set a reminder for later to finish it!

Excuse me, Can you give me a ride?

YO!

Was just about to go to bed when I realized I hadn’t posted!

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Haha… So many fears that have been met today… I’ll guess today’s actions you’ll just have to see for your self in the Sunday video. But it for sure was a fun little mini adventure I put up for myself!

Besides that, did my usual Friday Live stream! Felt good leading up to it, mostly just excited! Faced some fears DURING the stream as a frequent commenter Jaquen joined, and the guy intimidates me a bit. Spoke my mind and felt good about it. See for your self! Link further down.

 

Routine #2 – New thing

Well, let’s just say I hitchhiked. Haven’t done that before – it was FUN!

 

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail(s)

Two things:

I very sloppy replied to my boss yesterday in an email. A failed, and I had to eat up today. Learning – read through email more thoroughly.

I was very clumsy at the end of my live stream.. Learning – Don’t put your teacup IN your keyboard. See for yourself.

 

Tomorrow’s fear challenge Dare:

– Post an Instagram picture ( perfections Alex take over when I haven’t done it in a while)

– Stay off social media throughout the day

 

See you tomorrow, fear facer,

/Alex

Thursday Fears. Nothing special, but still important!

Short one today! But as long as the daily active search and execution happen, I’m doing it right – keeping that momentum going and building on the process of making it autonomous.  Long day, but a good day. Enjoy going to work, look forward to it when I wake up! Love my new role as 25%marketer, 75 % engineer. Didn’t mind the Grey autumn rain either – when you’re on the inside, you’re on the inside! …And you’ve got your tea.  What else do you need?! Yeah I know, some ginger.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

– Cold Fears

Cold shower. Yes, this is a fear I face every time I’m about to do it. Turning that handle to the coldest. But it kicks the day off in a great way. And it’s always worth it.

“Okay, I start with this fear and it’ll get me the momentum to continue”

…and it always does!

– The hug

Saw my old team leader. Realised I wanted to hug her because she’s a really good person whom I like a lot, and it’s been a while since I got a hug from her. Avoided it a couple of times. Then a good opportunity emerged and I couldn’t escape my faith. I’m going in for the hug…

Top moment. She instinctively hugged me back in such a great way. GREAT WAY. Social connection, physical connection, we as human beings need it. If you ask me. Makes me warm just thinking about it. And I mean that all in a friendly caring way.

– How’s it going with that thing… ?

Dared to ask a  person a personal thing I’ve been wanting to ask for some time now. It’s a complicated situation,m I want to help, but don’t want to put pressure. It’s a good thing I asked, it’s gotten wors.e Need to be there, need to help.

Overall, just keep having fun with my colleges. And it’s a fear of mine to invest time just socializing due to the missed opportunity of WORKING MORE! Tons of great people at the office. Great people.

Routine #2 – New thing

Accidently dropped half a Kiwi in my Green Tea, liked the look of it and put in the rest. My new favourite tea! Sweet!

Routine #2 – The daily Fail

Hm… Yeah, really think things through, been waiting for a thing at work for a week. Realized today I could have gotten started 4 days ago. Need to make a phone call tomorrow… But great learning in terms of starting things up; Sit down and really put the facts on the table. Don’t assume the bottleneck is somewhere else before you’re all checked in on reality!

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

Amazing Fears, Without tears.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Don’t know about that title, it just came to me.  Just like the urge I just had to approach and talk to a stranger before allowing myself to go home. So 10 minutes ago, I did just that.

“Excuse me, but I would just like to wish you a great evening”

“Oh, I don’t want anything sorry!”

“I don’t want to sell you anything, I just wanted to wish you a great evening!”

“Haha.. Okay! Thank you. I’m not so good in Swedish”

…And so a short fun conversation was taking off. Her name was Liza and she had just ended a workout an was waiting for a friend. A simple little fear facing action that led to me having a nice conversation with a random stranger. Great fun!

Overall, this day has just been amazing. Identified a ton of small fears through the day in different situations. Sent some tough emails. Told my dentist that I haven’t used flour toothpaste regularly in like 5 years after he telling me I should use it more. Even though my teeth looked fine and dandy!  Took a cold shower. Pushed me to have a ton of small little conversations at work.

These social pushes at work really are starting to pay off. Enjoy the socializing with people at work more and more. Usually, I distance myself from colleagues to get more work done. But the increase in feeling a part of the team is worth it, and pays off so much in areas and opportunities that emerge.

Today, right now after this day – I just feel like I’m walking on clouds. And yeah, I almost forgot. I got the most incredible letter sent to me from a college I didn’t know that well.  The story was that on the flight home from Croatia this Sunday,   I helped a guy out that was looking for his earplug for his headphones, and comforted a girl when there was some turbulence since she was afraid of flying. Nothing special I thought, just being a human being! But she got moved by my actions and said that she admired my behaviour and gave some hope to our society.

I’m really not saying this to talk about MY actions, as I’ve sad, to me that’s common sense. But her honest compliment made me feel warm and all fuzzy inside.  My point being, when you see someone doing something you admire – express that! Share your emotions and thoughts. I make sure to do this myself, and people always get so happy. Just read my blog post I did two days ago when I complimented our CEO on his speech. He too got genuinely happy.

– go out there and remind people of what they’re doing good!

Routine #2 – Doing something New

Since I stopped working in Täby 4 weeks ago, I haven’t been biking anything. It’s strange going from a daily 40 km commute 4-5 days a week, down to zero. But today I biked 20 km to the dentist and back AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Damn, I miss the biking.

Routine #3 – Failing & Learning  Daily

I’ve not been taking care of my neck for the last couple of days, and know it hurts like F*CK. Have an old whiplash injury. Learning, Don’t sit in a bad way, make sure to get up and move around at least every 50 minutes and do my neck exercises!

What a beautiful Tuesday morning!

08:23

Ah! Decided to take a day fast and no workout. But I wanted to get myself a bit more excited, even though I did already feel good about the day. Tiered I guess is the word. To little sleep. So I decided to change my thought patterns by wearing something new – my suit jacket! Haven’t worn that for work basically since my first work interview here. Why not today?

A small thing, but it just got me pumped and ignited something within. GOt in the mood, put on some loud music. AND BAM. I’m just kicking it. Entered the office space with a great attitude and just had so much fun with everyone here. The small things can make all the difference. It’s going to be a great day, I’ll make sure of it.

 

21:24

So, tiered , again. My total lack of willpower as a result of my lack of sleep is fascinating. I keep eating and eating. I should have gone to bed  two hours ago, but I’m even to tiered to do that. I’ve even given up on my usual blog structure: I’ll get back to it. I’m just temporarly chaotic. Great work day tough. A lot of social fear pushes. And some nice.. I don’t even remember what I was going to say. Looked away for a moment.

New thing – had canned “fish buns” for dinner. It was digusting. Makes me appreciate good natural homemade food even more. todays fail –  for sure my lost of control in the kitchen. I’ve impelented a “i’m the driver” mantra I repat to myself in the kitchen to not eat while standing. Went out the window today.

 

Now sleep. Nighty.

So, so tiered…

What’s up?!

Didn’t post yesterday. But I faced some fears for sure. So have I’ve done today.

Landed in Sweden around midnight after a real nice – fear induced – weekend trip to Croatia with the company I work for. Sleep deprived for two nights in a row now. Barley any willpower due to exhaustion. Trying to finish a paper I had due this Friday since I’m studying part-time too. but all I seem to do is eat. No. Willpower. Left. Needed to write this now…

  • I dare myself to not eat anything more this evening.

F*ck. Now I can’t… damn it. Part of me screams. So scary to put these things out, because that means I HAVE to do it. That is, don’t do it. Eating that is. I’m tired.

Anyways, besides that, I gave direct feedback to the company CEO on his speech he did this weekend. Scary. Did not expect him to get as thankful for it. He said people usually never dare to say anything. Even though it was positive feedback.

Continued on a couple of hours later giving some constructive feedback to one of my bosses. He too was very thankful.

ARGH.. need to finish my paper. See you tomorrow, fear facer.

 

…and yeah, the daily FAIL – the eating tonight. The Daily New thing – long time since I had this little sleep. Makes it even more clear to me how I fail myself when I don’t get enough of it!

 

/Alex

The Climax – Facing Public Speaking Fear

Routine #1 –  Daily Fear Facing

– Present at the company conference in Croatia

SO FINALLY, THE TIME HAD COME! The moment I’d feared for so long. SO LONG. Talking in front of a bunch of people at the company conference.  The last time I did some kind of presentation longer than 5 minutes was like 4 years ago. And even then there were two of us. Now I’d been asked to do a 40-ish minute presentation, one time in Swedish and one time in English. First session around 80 people, second 40-ish. A bunch is a relative measurement;).

It’s been hanging over me like 5000 kgs of chashewes ever since I got to know about this in the middle of June. But at the same time, I knew I had to do it, I had identified this fear that really aligned with my goals and values in terms of where I want to go in life. There was no question about. Yet, I hadn’t done any real public speaking in such a long time, so it kind of… No. Not kind of. It really scared the crap out of me. BUT, through tons of practice and preparation and grounding myself in my goals, I’ve kept myself motivated, and I’ve also in some twisted way really have been looking forward to doing it.

And so today, this morning at 8.30. It all started. The Climax point of this journey.

I for sure was really nervous. But filled with fear – EXCITEMENT – I started. And I continued. And I delivered. Certainly had some moments where I blanked out and got off track, but I managed to control the fear and get back up there in a playful way. It wasn’t me versus them, It was a shared experience. Most of the time I stayed in a state of flow, I dared to act out and bring the energy in an authentic way. Laughter and engagement.

The two sessions felt so different, I shared different stories and had different reactions. But I did have very nice reactions after both my presentations. People coming up to talk to me, sharing their stories and how they could relate. Some were really moved. And that in termed moved me deeply. Only those reactions in itself made it all so worth it. So worth it.

All this led to the most intense incredible feeling of proudness ever when it comes to fears I’ve met. And it got me hungry for more. As always. That’s some of the power of active fear facing. The kick – it’s addictive.

Now, the idea was that I was supposed to record this and put it out on My YouTube channel tomorrow… However… Se My daily fail.

Routine #2 – New thing:

– What’s not??

This whole 4-day trip is all filled to the limit with new experiences and doings. That’s what’s so good about getting away for a weekend or longer vacations on a regular basis. To shake your stale thought pattern and thinking up. Throw it all out and at least temporary reset the system. Meeting new people, pausing from some of your routines and the usual way of life without even having to work for the change. It’s just there.

Today we visited the old town of Dubrovnik and had a big company team challenge. So much fun. So many beautiful environments and scenery to take in. And bonding in the essence of true team spirit. Awesome day. awesome.

Routine #3 – Daily Fail:

– Recording the presentation 

BIG FAIL. BIG. The hour leading up to my presentation, I miscalculated my and ended up doing some last minute changes in my material and such that I forgot to hook up my audio recording gear properly. Oh it hurts. I so badly wanted a good recording of this. Well, next time, I’ll think back of this moment and not do that mistake again.

OKAY, that’s hit for now. Need to SUIT up for the big evening gala dinner. It’s going to be nice. My only worries are that my body, now when the tension has been released, allows itself to get sick. My brother had some shit going all of last week, and I can feel something crawling withing now. Fingers crossed.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facers,

/Alex

It’s getting closer and closer

I’m lying in my bed, processing today fail, literally,  while preparing to go to sleep. Tomorrow morning it happens. The two presentations I’ve feared for so long now. Need the sleep. But today for sure didn’t go by without some fear facing. A lot of identified social dear situations I actively pushed myself to go do. Really nice day, despite my litle, fail here at the end. Tell you about it tomorrow, 

sleep tight, fear facer.

Croatia Fears

Balcony view from my room

Yo, what’s up?

Out there facing some fears, are you? Me? Been spending my first day here in Croatia. In my room. It’s a good thing I’ve got a nice view from my balcony! I’ve been prepping for my Saturday presentation. It’s basically standing in the fear constantly right now. It’s been a lot of talk about this presentation for some time, but it’s the only thing occupying my mind so… But it’s fun too, I know it’s going to be good in the end. Or at least I’ll be proud as heck for doing this!

I did, however, seek out a fear, got a bit comfortable in my room so I went downstairs to find some friends to have dinner with. Yes, it’s a fear of mine to go socialize. It’s an active thing I need to push myself to, especially when introverted me as has been caught up in my own bubble. Ended up having one of my best meals with two amazing persons.

Tomorrow the conference begins, it’s going to be intense and exhausting. But also fun. HOping I’ll be able to squeeze in some more practice time, I for sure would need it.

Now, sleepy time. Early bird tomorrow to go for a run in new terrain! speaking of new things, basically, everything has been a new experience today. So that routine quote is for sure filled!

When it comes to the fail part, well, I forgot my phone in the aeroplane seat. Luckily I realised this just after walking off the plane and was able to run back and get it. Learning – Know where you put your things!

 

See you tomorrow, Fear facer

 

/Alex