Hey guys & welcome to this week’s challenge – Doing the things that never gets done!

I’ll get straight to the point, we are going to make things happen this week, doing the things that we know we should do, but never get around to do. It’s so easy to get caught up in our everyday life; in a reactive state just dealing with what’s beneath our nose. Yet we all have these things that we want to, should do, or maybe have to do. Still, it just never seems to happen. However, it does drain us on energy and makes us feel bad about ourselves for not taking action. But that’ll change this week! Our objectives are to make three of these thing happen, small or big things, it’s up to you! But I recommend you to take on those things that has been cluttering your mind day in and day out lately, no matter of daunting it may seem. Or if it’s just a big pile of laundry eyeballing you every day,

So that’s it, preferably schedule three things today which you are going to do some time this week before Friday. Where, how and when – Be as specific as you can and put it in your calendar!

ALTOUGH, before you get into planning mode, I want you to get crystal clear with your WHY – the reason for why you’re actually should do these things. Get to the bottom of it, what’s the true reason behind it? Is there even one? Maybe you shouldn’t invest your valuable time in it, ben then make a distinct decision about that, and move on with your life! Or if it is, visualise all the good things that it will result in, and feel yourself being deeply motivated to do this!

Also, when it comes down to the planning, brake down your BIG task into small actionable doings. If you’re starting a new training regime, what’s the first thing you need to do to move yourself forwards in that project? Buy a pair of jogging shoes; find what gym you should start at? Make that thought process, and you’ll find it’s much easier to get started – which for most of us is the hardest part!

Good luck, and commit to me in the comments if you’re going to do this challenge – let me know what you plan to do in the week:)

See you in the vlog!

/Alexander

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Posting schedule:

SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge

WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays

FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge

Join us, raise your standards, and start the journey to become the person you’ve always wanted to be,

SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/alexanderSnilsson?sub_confirmation=1

YOU FIND ME AT:

Mail: alexander.s.nilsson@gmail.com

Homepage: www.alexandernilsson.nu

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alenils

Snapchat: alenils

/With Love, Alexander

Time for the weekly Challenge #34 – Talking to strangers

And it’s as straight forward as it can be – talk to 10 strangers whom you’ve never talked to before.

Why, you may ask? And I’ll answer – Because it’s such a great skill to be able to talk with anybody, anywhere. To not feel anxiety or nervousness for striking up a conversation with some random person at the street; someone you may be attractive to, a friendly face or maybe a famous person that you’d like to get to know. If you can learn how to do this, you’ll have a much easier time doing it when it comes to an environment when you may be forced to in another way– a party, business event or any other kind of social event you are attending. Plus, it’s really fun when you lose that anxious feeling and you realise that it doesn’t you in anyway – it only makes you stronger!

So the objectives are as follows:

Talk to ten new people you’ve never talked to before. As longs as you approach someone and speak a sentence, you can count it in. But if you are to count people you meet in stores or other service environments, you have to make some kind of extra effort to count them; not just saying thank you polite. Then again, you decide how hard you want to make this challenge.

• One last thing, I really encourage you to not overthink your approaches, play by the three second rule (when you see a person you want to talk to, count to three and then just do it). Time i your worst enemy when approaching new people. Makes you talk yourself out of doing it. And secondly, I really would like for you to have some failed approaches, awkwardness, rejection, you know what I’m talking about. it is such a good learning to get used to that – rejection – I want you to realize that it won’t kill you, it will only make you stronger, if you let it. There will always be people out there that won´t like you, that’s just the reality we’re living in. And the sooner you can live with that, the better your social game will be.

So go out there, talk to new people, fail, talk to some more, but above all, have fun doing it! J

P.S This was actually one of the first challenges I put together ( https://youtu.be/uwFwjXdEn6w ). But it’s time to go at it again, because a gained skill will only remain so if it’s refreshed once and a while. Plus, no one will a perfect the art of speaking to strangers in a week – it’s a lifelong practiceJ

See you in the vlog guys!

/Alexander

Some talking to strangers motivation & tips:

http://ideas.ted.com/how-to-talk-to-strangers/?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_content=ideas-blog&utm_term=humanities

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Posting schedule:

SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge

WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays

FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge

Join us, raise your standards, and start the journey to become the person you’ve always wanted to be,

SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/alexanderSnilsson?sub_confirmation=1

YOU FIND ME AT:

Mail: alexander.s.nilsson@gmail.com

Homepage: www.alexandernilsson.nu

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/With Love, Alexander

Hey Guys and welcome to yet another weekly 5-day Challenge – number 33 – being vulnerable!

This week we are going to be vulnerable – respecting ourselves to the degree that we dare to show our true selves and show compassion and empathy. Loving and get loved. It’s scary, yet we have so much to gain from it.

Now this is a quite big topic, and it could actually be divided into many smaller challenges, but I want to introduce you to the concept on more general level, so hopefully I’ve compromised well. Ideally you will get inspired to read Brené Browns books on the topic – the researcher that has inspired this challenge.

So last week I listened to the second audiobook by Brown – Rising Strong –  which is focused on how to rise from those moments when we feel shame, hurt or just confused. Often making up the worst kind of story that the world is conspiring against us. But this challenge will focus in more on her first book; understanding vulnerability and shame & and the practical applications related to that.

WHAT we can do become more vulnerable and WHY should we?  First, the meaning of vulnerability in Brown’s own words:

“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow—that’s vulnerability.”

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”

― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

I’m not going to go much deeper into this, in this text. However, there are some great TEDtalks by Brown, which i included some of the most important parts of in my video: https://youtu.be/OdzLJBZQuyM . Also, I do recommend you to read/ listen to booth these books as they can fundamentally change you as a person.

If you already feel motivated enough; this week is going to be about showing up as our true selves, putting our thoughts, ideas and creations out there. Dare to be seen, dare step out to uncertainty naked for all people to see us, even though anything can happen. Acting like we should have done if shame, fear, pride or perfectionism didn’t hold us back.

Being vulnerable – The Objectives:

• Daring to speak your mind! For instance, if you’re having a discussion at the lunch table; say what you really think and don’t just sit silent or agree with the others because it’s convenient. Speak your mind – be true to yourself – risk putting yourself in a situation where you can be questioned or even laughed at! Because it’s the right thing to do.

• Don’t numb your emotions, allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling – & share your emotions. Express your true feelings to the people you care for; if you love someone – tell them that, if you think someone is caring and loving – tell them that, put it out there!

These are the main task of the week, but if you feel hungry for more you can also practice:

• Being creative – dance, play, create some music, make art, draw a picture, post a Instagram picture, do some knitting – basically any kind of creative expression that let your inner child out!

• Being rejected – go flirt with some people, putting ourselves in a vulnerable position with a rather high risk of being shot down. Realising that everybody can’t like everybody, it’s good insightful to realize that you survive getting turned down.

• Asking for help – to reach out and ask someone for could be really scary, not only because we can get a no, but many of us live in this imagination world where we can manage do everything on our own (I’m one of those persons).

• Practice gratitude daily – for instance, start every morning with writing down five things your grateful for (didn’t include this in the first video, but I’ll be talking more about this in the week vlog)

Remember, whatever happens – you are enough – always love yourself unconditionally.

Good luck with the 5-day challenge, and don’t forget to commit to me in the comments – it will dramatically increase the chances of you actually doing it!

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Posting schedule:

SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge

WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays

FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge

Join us, raise your standards, and start the journey to become the person you’ve always wanted to be,

SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/alexanderSnilsson?sub_confirmation=1

YOU FIND ME AT:

Mail: alexander.s.nilsson@gmail.com

Homepage: www.alexandernilsson.nu

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alenils/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alenils

Snapchat: alenils

/With Love, Alexander

Hey guys and welcome to this week’s challenge, which is going to be all about making us read more! To get inspired, to learn new things, relax and partly just doing like all the other successful people in the world who so many of claim they are frequent readers! So that’s why we’re going to have 30 minutes of book reading each day, and to really make sure this happens, I’m going to have a live stream for 30 min each weekday, where there basically is going to be no talking; just me – us – sitting together silently reading. Cosy time in the coach. Now basically that is all that needs to be said about this week’s challenge, but if you like to stay tuned for a few more minutes I’ll be getting a little bit more into the why, how and also remind you of why we should do this personal development journey together.

READING BOOKS – that’s what this week is all about! Some of my biggest aha moments and points of change in life has come to me through insights and & inspiration I’ve obtained through books.  Sure you can get inspired and learn something from a five minute YouTube video, but to really take something in on a deep level, you often need to have a more solid base of understanding for it to have that more religious impact. Now just to clarify, you may read books for different reasons, I prefer personal development or books were I gain knowledge in a wanted competence area, but I put no judgement in you reading books for the pure pleasure as it as another kind of positive effect, and I leave that totally up to you to decide what it is that you want out of your reading.

Moreover, beyond the obvious reasons as books an incredible source of knowledge, broadening our language and vocabulary, inspiration or an escape route to a faraway distant place, but research shows that it has huge stress decreasing effect making you let go of things that are bothering you – getting present!  Now lowering stress hormones in our body makes us more relaxed which make book reading ideal for having it as a closing chapter at the end of the evening (given it’s not a nail-biting thriller), and as a bonus get away from all the screens and the digital world with all it’s blue-up-wakening- light! These days you almost get a nostalgia kick out of holding a regular paperback book!

Now, I actually tried to do that last week in our willpower challenge, but failed. It got hijacked by the willpower focus on a more general level. But as I’ve learned throughout this personal development experience, if you want something to really happen, then you need to but your full attention on that one thing. So this week we are going to make it an absolute must to have a least 30 minutes of analogue old school book reading each day. AND to really make sure this is happening, I’m going to make this a live stream event, now I know the time won’t be evening time for all of you guys, and many might just think the idea is stupid, but what the heck, at least it will get me reading for 30 minutes. And if you’d like to join, I welcome you, as I will be streaming live each weekday 21.00 (GMT+1) when I’m sitting in my coach reading, silently. Except for Friday when I’ll be doing a morning stream instead as I’ll be going to a Halloween party Friday on the evening.

Convert your time here so you know what time will be when it’s 21:00 in sweden:

https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

Now I could be diving into more details concerning different reading techniques and other details related to this area, but I want to keep it simple. One book. Sitting down. Reading. Your way. Just to get started.  Then we can talk about this stuff another day. But for those that are interested; I put together a playlists with some good videos on how to improve your reading, why you should read, etc,

Link to playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxw2jMXwRfsmVLrOdEWLn7a2njgAD29MQ

Lastly, just a quick reminder what we are all about on this channel, if it’s the first time visiting or if you have just forgotten about it. My whole purpose and goal with this channel is to make us – jointly – never stop aiming towards becoming best version of ourselves. I’ve personally gone through a kick as development, and I think it’s just incredible how some small daily efforts, working on ourselves, really BIG things happen to us. And I want to make more people see and feel that too!  But it does require an aimed focus to make sure that you put in that required daily effort in order for us to become that improved version of ourselves.  And I know so many people out there just get caught in the everyday life and don’t take the time to make this happen. So, to make this journey a bit easier and bring some structure into it, I each week put up a weekly challenge in broad range of different personal development areas, to guide us. Sometimes maybe a bit random, but it’s a start & I’m constantly working on how to improve this. Now, I can only speak for myself, but the amount of personal growth I’ve done these past 32 weeks is just mind-blowing. My aim is to make this fun, simple and not to time demanding, but of course this requires some getting out of your comfort zone from time to time – that’s when the real growth happens. However, the aim is always to have a result that far exceeds the energy cost we’ll need to put in.

Wish you the best of luck, see you in the week vlog!
/Alexander

P.S If you want some inspiration for some good book tips, here are three good ones:

Life’s Golden Ticket: An Inspirational Novel – Brendon Burchard

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1211950.Life_s_Golden_Ticket

The Willpower Instinct – Kelly McGonigal –  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10865206-the-willpower-instinct

The power of Habit – Charles Duhigg – http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12609433-the-power-of-habit?ac=1&from_search=true

The TenX Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure (Unabridged) – Grant Cardone, a bit too harsh for some people, but have some golden content as well. – http://www.goodreads.com/search?q=The+TenX+Rule

Rising Strong – Brené Brown – http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23317538-rising-strong?from_search=true

Anthony Robbins – Get The Edge, Personal Power ( Audio book – however the book that changed my life the most, so have to mention it) – http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6235336-get-the-edge?from_search=true

One of the most fundamental forces that might have the most effect on our life’s is the ability to make the “right” decisions on a daily basis, it’s those decisions that transforms to actions which actually shapes the life we’re living. It doesn’t matter if you have a belief of being a good person that eats healthy and eat well if you’re still eating junk all day – it’s the actions you take that defines you. The irony is that a belief like that actually has the opposite effect; a lot of research shows that our perception of who we are, or what actions our future self will take, makes us act in the opposite direction of… Watch the video for more information on this!

We need to understand one important thing; – willpower is a finite resource! We are faced with hundreds of decision daily, and for every decision we make, our quote of available willpower decreases. With that logic, it should make sense to us that the most important things should be taken cared of as early as possible during the day. Now, taking a quick nap or going for some meditation can make you regain some of that power. And If we accept that to be true, we should also be able to understand that if we sleep too little during the night, it absolutely crushes our ability to make the right decisions. I’m sure you can relate to the amazement that strikes when we in hindsight realize that some of the crapiest food end up in our bodies – without much of resistance at all! It probably was one on those sleep deprived OR stressed out days; because stress is another factor that makes us become this bad version of ourselves. With all this in mind, the logic then follows to prioritize the most important things first throughout the day, as making the right decisions gets harder the longer we have been awake!  We might intuitively know this, but if you actually imagine yourself having a willpower bar above your head, and visualising it shrinking the longer the days go, you might get the motivation to get cracking on the most important thing first!

The objectives:

• Chose one thing you will focus on managing this week which requires willpower
• Answer the question thoroughly for WHY you’re doing this willpower challenge, it is this reason you should go to for motivation when struggling, and empowerment for when the right choice has been made
• Practice 5 min of mediation each day, it’s an act of willpower to just stay still and try to focus on your breathing – doesn’t matter if it’s shitty; it’s practice!
• Plan out a strategy for how to go about this, build a positive habit routine around it, share willpower is an unnecessary hard strategy

Now we all have our challenges – That’s why I want you to adapt this challenge to your context & willpower issues, focusing in on one. Personally, and I’d love you to join me, I will be focus in on what I believe is one of the things that effects the biggest part of our life – SLEEP –  decisions, feelings, wellbeing – it’s just one of those silver bullets that can change absolutely everything – and I’m speaking out of my own experience!

But If you think you’re a have your sleep figured out – make another willpower challenge out of this week; eating; training; being in time; you know your weak spots – chose one that you feel is the most urgent thing to fix in your life.

BUT BEWARE; you might think you have your sleep figured out because you’re use to your current amount of sleep, it feels like it always feels and your functioning alright with that! But, you can absolutely get around with too little sleep, but it’s when you’ve really have started to pay attention to the difference when you realise what an incredible difference it makes.

My  comming Sleep routine this week:

• The Que – the alarm goes off on hour before you should lay in bed
• My experience tells me it takes time to shut down what you’re doing.
• Action; going to sleep, but you have the reward of the good book; it will pull you; something to long for a carrot for actually going to bed. That’s the instant reward of actually going to bed!

Some other willpower challenges could be:

• 60 Minutes of cardio a week
• Sleeping 1 hour more
• 30 min of book reading each day
• Having my home nice and tidy
• Not losing control of my eating on the evenings

Good luck, and commit to me in the comments if you’re doing this challenge!

With Love, Alexander

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Posting schedule:

SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge

WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays

FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge

Join us, raise your standards, and start the journey to become the person you’ve always wanted to be,

SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/user/alexanderSnilsson?sub_confirmation=1

YOU FIND ME AT:

Mail: alexander.s.nilsson@gmail.com

Homepage: www.alexandernilsson.nu

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alenils/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alenils

Snapchat: alenils

/With Love, Alexander

Trying out new things & Breaking old habits – Weekly Challenge #30

Time for a new week challenge – and this time I can barely contain my self – this is almost like a free-give-away challenge that is all fun!

Does your days always look the same –  the same routine and old habits that makes it hard to distinguish one day from the other? Why not let this week be one of those week’s that totally stand out from the rest of them – a week to remember! And all by doing some tweaks and changes to all the small things you have stopped taking notice to and just do by old habit.  Try something new; another breakfast, no breakfast, morning training, no morning training, happy music playlist in the morning, audiobook on your way to work/school, change your commute route to work/school, try meditating the first thing you do, try planning your day out, try planning your day out the night before, write a gratitude journal, text someone you love – TRY ANYTHING THAT BREAKS YOUR OLD HABITS AND ROUTINES;

• Try out new ways of training; group training, outdoors training, new sports
• Mix up your old eating habits – try new things, try fasting, try vegan, try meat, try something you’ve never had before!
• Buy some new clothes, or look through the wardrobe and use some of those things that has been forgotten about! The same goes for your shoes, jackets, hats, gloves – all of it!
• Try a new haircut, try and old haircut, try a new makeup (not for me though)
• Doing something fun after work/school – hang out with a friends you haven’t seen in a while and do something fun. Ever went to the cinema in the middle of the week?
• Do something unexpected and push yourself out of your comfort zone – talk to some random people on the street or maybe ask a person out for a date! Call people you haven’t spoken to in a while!

I think you get the picture by know, and hopefully you are as excited as I am about this one. So I am going to change up as much as possible and try new things during the week – and that are all the “fluffy” directions I’m going to give – you chose how far you want to take this!

It will require some energy and willpower to make a bunch of new decisions you’re not use to doing – because making choices depletes us of our willpower and energy (look into “the willpower instinct” by Kelly McGonigal if you want to know more about it). But sometimes we just need change, even though we may have awesome routines and habits implemented, it’s good to break old habit just to get a new perspective on things and maybe just feel alive again! So the idea isn’t to toss all the things we worked so hard for to implement, but for five days, we are going to go on vacation from all that, or at least tweak them up a bit! For instance, I have to do my guided meditation practice on the morning to get myself ready for the day, but this week I’m going to try a different kind of mediation practice and maybe I’ll find something that works better for me! We just don’t know until we try new things – just think about how you’ve got the habits you have now, you tried something new, liked it and made a routine out of it!

So that’s the idea, take this as far as you want, and let me know how it goes in the vlog. I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about a challenge as this time. I’ve already done a lot of preparations and planning for the week – ready for a memorable week. But that’s just if you want to go all in, you can do this without a lot of preparations. Remember – it should be fun!

Good luck guys, & see you in the vlog!

/Alexander

How to add value & connect with anybody – Evaluation of the weekly challenge #29

Alexander Nilsson, Stockholm, 2016-10-14

It’s time for the weekly challenge Evaluation!

First, a quick reminder for why we did this challenge! Basically, the reason was to practice the skill of connecting with anybody by following a guy named Michael Ellsberg framework, as he had been major successful by applying the method he shares. To be specific, the focus of his video, which I based the challenge on, was how to connect with powerful and influential people. He said he did this by having an add value mind-set – to give and not ask for anything in return.

So that was the task of the week, try to connect with – not only new people but old and new friends as well – people by helping them out through steering the conversation towards and identified pre-determined area where we knew we had some extensive experience or knowledge in, and hence could give good advice, or knew people that in turn could help out.

All good so far! And I was really excited about this challenge, because the previous week challenge had made me taste blood, where I was supposed to meet up with three friends during the week and have quality time. Part of that quality time also meant that friends help each other out – and I really got to experience the good feeling of being able to inspire and help my friends. And with those good experiences in mind, I thought this challenge would be a walk in the park. Boy did I turn out to be walking in a park with grass and weeds up to my knees.

The challenge did also say that we were supposed to help out in every situation where we interacted with people during the week – deepening the connection with our current relations. Because helping people out doesn’t only connect you with powerful and influential people – we’re all human beings taking a like to a person when we’re getting help! And that’s what’s been om may agenda throughout the week, every situation and interaction I’ve gone in to. WITH my identified expertise area, I’ve been focused to steer the interaction towards; personal development, health, wellbeing and training, depending on the person and the context.

I quickly come to realise that this wouldn’t be an easy week challenge – as I first thought.

However, not in any way trying to be pushy or sell my “solution” or view on life. That’s not how you do it if you ask me; a great leader leads and inspire by showing how it’s done through action, living what he preaches. But I guess that’s another topic, but one could still have a conversation in a topic and being humble in how to share your point of view when giving advices. And that’s what I’ve been doing this week, although as I just said, it was way harder than I anticipated Mostly because it takes some time to get into a deep connection interaction, and at work where I spent the whole week in the social context, it wasn’t too easy to reach that level of conversation – as time being the limiting factor. Although it did happen a couple of times, and I do feel that I’ve deepened the connection to a lot of co-workers at work as a result of this challenge.

BUT, connecting with new people – which was a big part of the focus – requires that you actual meet new people! The plan was to attend some kind of networking event during the week, but that didn’t happen! Why? Because everyday life happened, and I didn’t plan this detail out in advance, I just figured it will solve itself. Or I don’t know what I thought. But as soon as the week starts to roll, I just become reactive for all the stuff that happens, and everything that needs to be done. That’s why weekly planning is so so important – or in the case of a weekly challenge, really go through the strategy and game plan so you know how to play the game. So in this perspective, I failed big time. But as you all know i keep preaching; failure is growth – if you make sure to learn from it! And I really do, PREPARATION IS KEY! Keeps echoing in the back of my head, and I feel disappointed at myself, but I also know when I emotions like these are present, and it is at these times, you really have the possibility of learning for real. That’s why I don’t fully buy into the saying of learning from others mistakes, because there’s no personal emotion created to that event, so that means it doesn’t trigger any alarms sounds when a recognizable pattern starts to emerge.

BUT, the biggest takeaway from this week’s challenge is how I have fundamentally shifted into seeing myself as a 24/7 “helper” –  a person that has a deep interest in helping people out when interacting with them. Now of course I’ve been wanting to do that earlier – that’s a big reason for Why I started this channel! But that has maybe been more in a directed focus towards an interested audience. But this week’s focus gave me a new identity somehow, or tweaked my old one. And I like it, I like it a lot. Because it really is a priceless feeling – the feeling of knowing you inspired and helped someone out.

And I strongly think that is a mind-set you should adopt as well, also, have this mind-set when you take in new knowledge, learning for teaching to others, because that’s really when you force yourself to understand everything on a whole deeper level; because you know you are going to want to explain this to so many other people; spreading the message. And that’s a powerful lesson that can change the way you go through life dramatically.

Thank you for this week’s challenge – and see you Sunday for the next one. Know go enjoy the weekend; because you’ve earned it!

Just to sum it up – The major conclusions from this week’s challenge are:

• Plan better – preparations are key!
• Connection requires energy; you need to make sure you take care of yourself (sleep, food, traning, mindfulness) because if your toast, you will not be able to create those deep connection, unless your close to soulmates – and you can’t count on that!
• This is a tuff challenge that requires planning, effort and being on top of your game and being able to push yourself when you need to step out of your comfort zone.
• It’s a mindset to be a “helper” that fundamentaly can change you as a person and how you behave and act by reaction – a powerful mindset.
  • /Alexander

Music in this epsiode:

Aftermath by Ars Sonor is licensed under a Attribution License.

License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Ars_Sonor/The_Island/01_Aftermath

The Pocket Universe by Ars Sonor is licensed under aAttribution License.

License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Ars_Sonor/The_Island/02_The_Pocket_Universe

Enter the Tesla Machine by Tri-Tachyon is licensed under aAttribution License.

License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Tri-Tachyon/Enter_the_Tesla_Machine_-_Single/Enter_the_Tesla_Machine>

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This week’s challenge introduction video:

https://youtu.be/5gyIuTXaIvw

Read the full test on:

http://alexandernilsson.nu/how-to-add-value-connect-with-anybody-weekly-challenge-29/

The talk that this video is based on:

How to Connect with Powerful and Influential People

Michael Ellsberg is the author of The Education of Millionaires (Penguin, 2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDmOgLabl_M&t=1s

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Posting schedule:

SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge

WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays

FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge

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/With Love, Alexander

Hey guys and welcome to a new weekly challenge!

This week it is going to be all about connecting with new people, acquaintance or plain old friends by focusing in on adding value by helping them out and not expecting anything in return – basically being an unpaid consultant in YOUR area of expertise. Monday to Friday – as always – so we can make a focused effort to grow towards becoming a better version of ourselves.

Last week was about taking time to meet with friends during the week, and really being present and 100 % focused on that meeting and nothing else – Quality Time. That also meant helping these friends out; talking about each other’s life and trying to find ways to help each other; because that’s what’s friends are for. Being there for each other, giving advice, just listening, reflecting and analysing together. What I realised during these meetings was that it really felt so good to be able to help people in areas I felt confident in, but also the connection that was created as a result of that.

Helping people out is so incredibly powerful. To give without asking for any in return makes an impact and creates a bond. It’s a life skill and an attitude that properly can change your life if you learn to use it in the right way. Just think about it, when did someone help you out the last time? How did it made you feel? Grateful, feel stronger for that person now?

At least for me, and as a result of past week, I’ve realised first-hand what this does for the connection and I want do develop this skill further, which means giving it full attention. So wouldn’t you say that it’s worth a few minutes a day, for five days, focusing in on practicing only that; developing your skills for how to help people out by basically just applying a simple framework?  For me it’s obvious – it’s a must do weekly challenge!

Always when I focus in on an area I try to research the expert’s advices on the topic, get different inputs and advices on how to do what I’m trying to do. And so I stumbled across this video on YouTube with a talk about how to connect with powerful and influential people by Michael Ellsberg, a guy whom has written books about the key successes factors of millionaires. And he managed to meet with these highly regarded people by talking is way there. So in his talk, he shared his way for how he manages to create deep connections with people and forming strong bonds; creating relationships that enabled him to get to know some of the richest people in the world. But the method he’s using is applicable in most contexts and situations!

In a nutshell, it’s all about helping people out without asking for anything in return – being an unpaid consultant that just gives value in all the ways you have the ability to help. So we are going to dedicate this week to be a true helper; listening to people and doing what we can to make that person we’re talking to leave that interaction with sense of having gained something. It’s quite easy on an overall level, but then of course, it’ so many factors that comes into play when it comes to connecting with people, where body language and the micro expressions you send out – according to research – plays the biggest part, But that’s not the focus of this week.

The mind-set:

The major problem people do, and know me mainly are talking about people that we admire, look up to, VIP people, or just people we feel socially or mentally inferior to – is that we feel a sense of unworthiness – oh we get to talk to this highly regarded person, it’s so special. So we but the person on a pedestal and ourselves in a kneeled position. Which is all wrong! It’s just a person – a breathing human being – of course you can admire them, but in the end it’s just another person. And having this mind-set transform your approach and body language radically. Although it requires some practice to get used to. But you are worthy and you have nothing to lose, when you can play that game – all win and no risk, you play a hell of a better game, trust me!

When this is accepted – you’re ready for the actual game plan. Almost, because first we need to do some proactive work and realise what areas of expertise we have.  The main problem people do when they talk to new people they are impressed by, is that they often keep the conversation in their areas of expertise; giving compliments and admiring their work. That doesn’t make the conversation unique and will just put you in the folder of hundreds of other people that has spoken to that person about the same thing. Instead, what we need to do is to steer the conversation into an area we know we have an expertise in, or actually have something of real value to say. Basically people, no matter who they are, have problems in life in one of the following areas:

• Financial
• relationships
• health
• purpose and meaning

So what you are going to do is to clarify to yourself what is your area of expertise; what area do you know you can give some valuable input to, or have other good connections that actually could be of service.

Because you can help people in different ways – you just need to identify these areas, so you then later on can steer the conversation in this direction. For instance, if you’re interested in personal development, like I am, you may have valuable experiences or knowledge which could help the person you’re talking to.

The actual conversation:

Now, when you for instance have meet with a new person in a network situation, you need to go through the basic small talk and get to know the person – and of course there are better and worse ways in how you can do the small talk and create rapport, but some basic tips are;

Do a bit of small talk, get to know the person, try out some jokes, try to make it easy going and funny initially which may come hard to some people but is a great way to create rapport. Look through some of my old videos for more specific tips ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtnB3OmIuoU&index=1&list=PLxw2jMXwRfskUFzqBo2yXOZeyFdYOzZsW&t=125s) .

Secondary start to gently steer the conversation in the direction of your area of expertise – to see if you can find something that you can help the person out with. Try to make it smooth and natural.

So the OBJECTIVES are:

• Clarify what your areas of expertise are
• Meet with new people; Chit-chat; laugh, talk, build rapport with the person you’re talking to
• Inquire; in a subtle gentle way start ask questions – in an area where you can add value – in order to find out what kinds of problem the person you’re talking to may have.
• ADD VALUE

• Try to get yourself to at least on networking event this week; meetup, conference, pub, whatever – as long as you get in a context where you can take the opportunity to talk with new or casual acquaintances to practice the skill of giving value unconditionally
• If you find this networking skill being a bit too far from your social skills level – adapt it to your level! Focus in on helping the people you know, friend’s family in the best way you can!
• I want you to be able to write down at least five things you did this week in order to help someone. Everything counts; it could be a good advice, a contact, sharing a reflection you’ve made, whatever. But I want you to writhe them down along with a brief reflection; how did it feel, what did you do good and is there any way you can do even more next time? Reflecting and adjusting accordingly is when he real growth comes!

So that’s it, turn on the search light, maybe read up on some area of yours to get some inspiration and throw yourself out there, ready to be a helper and connect with people!

Wish you the best of luck,
Alexander

BRING THE JOY – The happy week: Weekly challenge #27
Evaluation
Alexander Nilsson
2016-09-25

It’s time for this week’s challenge – The happy Week – bringing joy to every situation!

Sometimes it can be hard to control our emotions; some days are bad and some are good, and sometimes it feels like we have no control over it all. But one thing is true, we can actively choose what perspective we want take on when we look at things. It may sound cliché, but a glass is in fact either half full or half empty. It’s like choosing an Instagram filter – to you want a happy saturated look or a depressing black and white. Now I’m not saying that those pictures can’t be beautiful, but I thing you get the picture! It’s simple; what you focus on, you will get. The thing is, neither of the perspectives change anything from a factual perspective, both are equally truth. But how you interpretative and act on it makes all the difference, we just have to get that it is all in our head. If something bad happens to me, I always tell myself that it was meant to be, and I make sure to actively look in that situation for how it can benefit me. I’m not saying it’s easy, or actually it is once you’ve learnt, but it does require some practicing to get used to! But when we manage to do this, life gets so much more fun!

Because this isn’t the one thing that will fix all your problems, this is a happy filter that makes your life better. To continue with the picture references; if your picture shows a ball of dust, out of focus, in a wardrobe – you will still have a pretty shitty picture no matter how happy filter you on. It’s the bigger things; doing something you love or fulfils you; having good relationships; health and wellbeing – those are the bigger things you need to make you sure you have in order – or are working towards. Because a happy filter is no more than a filter than adds that extra touch. And and nice filter can inspire you to work towards getting better motives on your future pictures!

So, we are going to be super happy by actvley having a mindset of looking for the good things in all the situations we are in throught the week. For some practical tips for how to do that, you can read about or listen to Brendon burchards video/podcast on “how to bring the joy” here: http://brendon.com/blog/bringthejoy/

See you in the vlog!
– And commit to me in the comments if you want to join this challenge!
/Alexander

Hey guys and welcome to this week’s challenge: Having quality time with friends!
If you are like me, you take way too little time to meet up with friends of yours, constantly prioritizing work or your own projects.  But we need to have a work life balance, it’s so important for a number of reasons – that’s why this week’s challenge is going to super simple! The objectives are to meet up with 2-3 friends during the week; taking time to hang out and socialize with the people that matter in our life. But that’s not all, we’re also going to make sure that when we actually meet, the phone is going to be buried far down your pocket on silence mood and we’re going to direct 100% of our focus on the person we’re talking to; listening, talking, sharing experiences, helping each other out and giving advices.

“People don’t need your presents, they want your PRESENCE.”

Also, you are going to focus on showing up as your true self, not acting a part, speaking your true mind and really being the person you know you are deep inside. Working on building your self-esteem. That’s what we’re going to do this week.

So make sure to reach out to and schedule, today if possible, 2-3 meeting with any friends of your that you know you should have taken time to meet way back already. That’s it!

I wish you good luck, and if you have any comments or questions, please share them!

/Alexander

This challenge is inspired by Brendon Burchards podcasts:

https://youtu.be/glGx7qxo_jQ

https://youtu.be/Ir0w3VPVi5Q