On today’s fear facing action list:

– Being my true self 

09.00: Back at the Office after a few days of working from home. Reminding myself of this week’s theme of being assertive and standing up for myself. However, this is turning out to be a bit of a challenge as I’ve lost some of my momentum being isolated for a couple of days. Also, still not having that energy level fully back yet. Need to remind myself – Speak clearly, speak with conviction, speak your mind, be yourself. BOM. Now let’s work.

10.30: Was just asked for an opinion regarding a layout design. Spoke my mind. Especially when people ask for my opinion, I tend to hold back when there are people “above my pay grade”. But with ” speak your mind, speak your mind, speak your mind” running in the back of my head, I spoke truthfully after a “holding back” start. Liberating.

13.30: Welcome out Alex. I get more and more relaxed in expressing myself as the day progresses. It makes it easier to have fun with people and express my sense of humour. This is how it should be. But you get out of this state. It’s a fresh good. You need to keep reminding yourself, of being yourself. That’s the way to live.

16:00: I’ve had my share amount of working hours for the week. But I had also promised to come into the office to take some pictures and write a text for a mingle lunch event. I should be home resting get in well. Dilemma. Creative thinking – the new guy that I’ve heard loves his camera and I know are hungry for doing what I do. Can I…? Fear identified – outsource your task. It doesn’t break any moral codes or values of mine. He can gather the data and take some photos, send it over to me and I can put it together. Now I have to do it, take action. BOM –  problem solved.

17:00 walking home from the office. Tiered and exhausted after a long day. Feel like connecting with a random person. That always makes me happy and filled with energy. Nice view at the bridge I’m walking at…. A woman approaching. I want to ask her… It’s a bit weird. Fear identified – I want to be able to talk to anyone anywhere, at any given time. Like right now. Now I have to do it.

“Excuse me. Hi, I was wondering if you could take a picture at me?”

The nice Woman, I think her name was Pernilla, smiled and said yes. Took a photo. Made my best try-not-to-be-awkward-smile. I thanked her and then asked how her day was and chatted some. She was really nice and we had fun. She smiled and was happy, I smiled and were happy. Nothing big, but it made me feel good.  Connecting with people. It’s about the small things. Daily,

New thing(s):

• Listened to Disney music while walking home to get in a good mood. Nice, really nice!

What fears have you been facing today?

See you tomorrow,  fear facer,

/Alex

Just a regular fear facing Wednesday!

Okay, not all that regular. Been sitting indoors working from home two days in a row now. Caught a nasty cold that doesn’t bring out the best of me, nor the most fearful actions.

However, as I’ve said before. The most important thing is that you keep the routine, and by that the momentum, going! Low bar, high frequency.

On today’s fear facing action list:

– Wrote a comment to the CEO

We have like a Facebook flow on our internal company page and he had written something. Intuitively I started writing a question to him. But as I wrote my brain started doubting myself. “it’s a stupid question. You can ask somebody else, don’t waste important peoples time”. Ding ding ding – Fear Radar alert!

I’m not going to buy into my shitty stories. Now I must write even if it would be stupid. VIP intimidates me. They shouldn’t. They should inspire and get me hungry. I should want to talk to them. Posted the comment. Really nothing big per se, but what it stood for was big.

– Tinder responsibility  

I’ve been Tindering with a girl, I suggested that we should go on a fika. She said yes. Seems really nice. Then I haven’t opened the app in like four days. I’ve been telling myself it’s so I don’t have to get distracted by my phone. But reflecting upon it today, I also realised that part of the reason is to avoid having to go on that date. It scares me. So I opened it and wrote to her again.

– Ice Ice baby 

Yesterday I wrote about pushing my cold shower time some. Took it even further today and also brushed my teeth while doing it. Don’t know if this is the smartest move while already having got a cold.

New thing(s):

– Cashew mania

Tried not having any real food for dinner. Instead only cashews! I’ve for a long time had an issue with making the evening dinner this holy thing, spending way too much time on it. Plus, I bunkered up with 7,5 kilos of cashews. That’s 45 000 kcal! I’ve got some nuts to eat! ?

What fears have you been facing today?

 See you tomorrow, fear facer,

/Alex

On today’s Fear facing action list we’ve got:

– The call

Called my boss and told him I was going to work from home, still sick. It still always scares me to make these phone calls, especially when I have to deliver “excuses”. My creative worst-case scenario brain always shapes a totally plausible reality to buy into – of course, the people I’m telling these things to think I’m lying. That I’m a bluff that only tries to do as little as possible.

I know I’m not that person, and that should be enough. But it’s not that easy.

However, when you say these things out loud, when you make yourself aware of the nonsense, you remove some of its power. If they don’t trust me, If they don’t believe me, then they’re no good to me anyways. As long as I live according to my moral values and standards and do what I believe is right, everything is alright.

– Doing what needs to be done

I have a big presentation coming up in Croatia in a couple of weeks. Ironically enough I’m going to be speaking about facing fears, yet I’m avoiding preparing for it like the plague because it scares me so much. To procrastinate is 100 % equal to run away from your fears. So I scheduled out 4 hours and sat down and did it (when I write this, I’m just about to get started. See you on the other side)

40 min in – It’s tough, really tough. My mind constantly tries to escape this place. All the time. I need to be aware of my reactive wandering brain. although I do get into moments of flow. My brain does not want to be in this uncomfortable place, it wants certainty. Food. Youtube. Food. Instagram. Facebook. Food. It wants to liberate me of the workload.

1,5 hours in – it’s getting better. Wander between moments of hell and amazing flow.

3 hours in – I’m enjoying it. I’ve got some momentum now. It’s a feeling of moving towards the end goal that makes me like it, but also the process of writing of creating something good. We must learn how to enjoy the process. Learn how to stand in the fear. Because it is only then we can realise that it has no real power over us. It’s all in our head. It’s only then we can make it sustainable. Either that, or make it such a deeply implemented routine that it eventually just happens automatically.

4 hours – I’m done! Not with everything, but for know. I’m almost intrigued to keep going. So proud, so energized, so, so..  Once again I proved that facing my fears was the exact thing I really needed to do. Another reference case to look back at. I could have so easily fallen into a reactive state, doing some low hanging fruit work tasks and being left with the anxiety of not having done what I should have done.

“To procrastinate is 100 % equal to run away from your fears”

– Me

New thing(s) – Doing something I haven’t done in at least 30 days

– Intermittent fasting

Use to do a whole lot of intermittent fasting, but lately, I’ve experimented with starting eating breakfast again. I don’t like my new habit and I havn’t done any real fasting for 30 days know. Or well I love the eating part, but it takes energy and focus from me. And I believe in the health benefits of the fast. But going back to being real hungry again is scary. Even though I know it’ll past if I just dare to stand in it, embrace it. Just like the fear. I warmed up yesterday with a 12 hour fast, and today I did a 16 hour fast. Loved it. More of it coming

 See you tomorrow, #fearfacer,

/Alex

MONDAY – love em, so much potential for yet another amazing memorable week!

This week’s fear facing theme is to stand up for myself, speak my opinions and express my true genuine self – being assertive and living with integrity “words and behaviour match”. I talked about this in the Friday live video)

If you have a focus and are determined to follow through on this, it’s hard not to. Or I should say it’s hard not to try really hard at least. So throughout my day, in conversations with colleagues and bosses, I’ve had this in the back of my head and I’ve reminded myself every time I’ve looked in the bathroom mirror. Focus.

So, how did it go? Well, It’s been a great day. It’s been uncomfortable for sure, but it’s been a great day.  I’ve connected with people, I’ve dared to speak my opinion and I’ve dared to say no to things in situations I otherwise wouldn’t. The boost you get in self-esteem by living your true self is just…

But, I know it’s not easy. It’s really not. Although it for sure is easier when you have the fear facing muscle warmed up and some momentum. Which I have. Which you also can attain if you implement a daily fear facing routine. Not gonna nag, you do whatever you want!

Besides all these mini pushes, we also have this on today’s fear facing action list:

• I sought eye contact with a cute girl while walking to work, and held it and smiled. She looked away. I kept looking. I kept smiling. She looked back. I smiled on the inside.
• I moved a scheduled meeting for next week to the end of this week instead. A scary one, and I identified that I felt that way. I knew it would be better for me to face that fear sooner rather than later so I took action. Unless specific competencies need to be developed, this is my praxis for fear facing actions. Do it as soon as possible.
• I went into a grocery store to buy tomatoes. Ended up talking for a couple of minutes with a very cute cashier. I liked her. She was cute. I told her that. She smiled, blushed, and said thank you. I walked away. Top moment of the day.

NEW THING (S):

• I worked with the in-house design team at the office today as they needed some help. Haven’t worked with these people before. Loved it, and the 13-hour work day went by just like that with loads of smiles, laughter and a feeling of having contributed. The people you work with matters so much to the experience of what you do.
• Used my Raincoat I haven’t worn in ages. Love it! Don’t underestimate the small changes.

This was it for today, see you tomorrow.

“A young man sits alone in the darkness of a movie theater, deeply inspired by the drama unfolding before him. The story touches him so deeply that tears come to his eyes. He knows that in a week or so he will want to come back and see this film again. In the lobby he spots a friend who was at the same screening, and they greet each other. He searches his friend’s face for clues to his feelings about the movie; but the face is blank. The friend inquires, “How’d you like the picture?” The young man feels an instant stab of fear; he does not want to appear “uncool.” He does not want to say the truth-“I loved it. It touched me very deeply.” So instead he shrugs indifferently and says, “Not bad.” He does not know that he has just slapped his own face; or rather, he does not know it consciously. His diminished self-esteem knows it.”

-Nathaniel Branden, the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.

Happy Sunday!

On today’s fear facing list we have:

• Posting my vulnerable YouTube video

This one is quite tough for me to share – because it really puts me in a vulnerable position since so many of my friends are a part of it. Strangers are easier, less investment, less to lose. But the fact is that what I say in the video, is what went down in my head.

The only reason I’m sharing this is because I know that I’m not alone, and I know that very fact can be supportive and inspiring to other people. Yet it’s so hard to talk about, but it’s the only way forward. I know it, you know it.

• Did a 40-minute Guided Meditation session by Joe Dispenza

Fear of meditation? Yes, sitting down and being “unproductive” is one of scariest things I know of. I’d been wanting to try this particular one out since my friend had really pushed for it. I came up with excuses and never got around to it. Until a really good opportunity emerged today and I still talked myself out of it. BUT then my fear radar went bananas. If I didn’t do it now, when would I do it? Everything was perfect, yet it scared me so much that I made up all kinds of stories to not. I identified the fear, defined the action and then executed. Tricked myself into it.

“okay you only have to do the first five minutes of it, then it’s REALLY okay to turn it off.”

It ended up being one of the most profound & spiritual moments in my life. That shit is crazy. But only if you’re susceptible to it. I was.

This is also part of why I avoid getting into the details of Meditation, you simply don’t grasp the greatness of it until you started to experience some of it yourself. And getting all wired about it scares people away – which I don’t wanna do. Hence I just say, trust the process and find out for yourself.

New Thing(s):

• Took an hour to learn new colour correction skills.

So glad I invested time in this, will save me a bunch in the long run and enable me to be more creative with my videos.

My video:

Another great day of growth! What did you do today?

See you tomorrow, #FearFacer

/Alex

Greetings Fear Facers!

Thought I’d start mini-blogging again. Nothing big, just report my daily fear facing actions. Why? Well, It’s spelt accountability, and it’s one of the greatest weapons in our personal development arsenal. I’ve committed to doing daily fear facing. It’s part of my three daily routines

– fear facing, meditation, and doing something new.

The key is having a low bar so we manage to execute even on those shitty days. It’s about getting the momentum and keeping it. We all know how hard it is to get started. So, let’s keep that to a minimum.

Todays fears 2018-09-15:

– Turned off my phone and stayed off the social media sites

The biggest fear and insight of the day is how incredibly addicted I am to my phone. Last week really has been crazy, so I challenged myself to be without it for a day. To let go of the certainty and source of entrainment it serves the reactive me with. Always at hand. Fleeing from reality because it’s scary, uncomfortable, boring, or just not what I want it to be. But letting go of our drugs is so uncomfortable.  It’s a deep fear of mine, just as is food. The first step is to identify the fear, then to accept it, before taking action. This action made me have the best day in terms of insights in a long time.

–          I flirted with a cashier for a couple of minutes ( top moment of the day ) –          I bargained for some avocados and bananas NOTE: I’ve been sick for a couple of days and really didn’t have much energy when I went out for a walk today doing these things. ?

New Thing:

– Went into a new China supermarket store I found + the whole phone thing.

“Progress, not perfection”

Denzel Washington in The Equalizer. Yepp.

Have a lovely evening,

/Alex