This week’s Fear Facing Challenge

So this week’s challenge is a result of me failing on myself this weekend ( read the previous blog post). But also as a result of my willpower plummeting in the evenings lately. Ending up just eating for 2-3 hours, thinking I’m doing something of use but in reality just eating.

The result is this week’s challenge I’ve just spent the first hour of this early Monday morning outlining. I’m excited about it. I know it’s going to suck at times, but it will also benefit me like shit. The toughest one is going to be the food part. Not being allowed to eat at home – basically removing the temptation – is going to require so much of me. Eating when I get home is the best thing I know, at least comfort wise. Hence, it’s also my biggest enemy because that’s where I get stuck. The result of this is going to be very, very interesting.  Wish me good luck.

…and of course, some social fear facing will take me to some unexpected connecting moments – looking forward to that as well!

See you when I see you, Fear Facer

/Alex

YESTERDAY I FAILED MISERABLY. I KNEW THERE WAS THIS THING I SHOULD HAVE DONE, BUT I DIDN’T.

However, I renegotiated the terms for allowing myself not to do it. HOW? By putting up an epic week challenge that will require much more out of me and hopefully result in much more as well. So planning that thing will be the thing for today. Also getting started with it to some extent, but usually the week challenges range from Monday through (BLACK) Friday.

TODAY’s FEAR FACING:

• Do a 5 km max test – check new pr
• Go to a public speaking practice event (part of the extra push) – Check !
• Put a deadline for my video editing so that I can do that – Posted and clear!
• Outline a scary as week challenge – challenge – working on it…

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE:

• GO UP AT 04:30, GO TO BED AT 21:00 THE LATEST
• SPEND THE FIRST HOUR GOAL PLANNING AND STRATEGIZING

Food (it’s out of control and needs to get in control)

• …..

The day disappeared, but it was a nice one, will continue tomorrow:)

gnight folks, Fear facers

/Alex

Don’t miss out on this week’s Sunday video:

I wanna shortly touch upon how I work with my routines… I’ll update late, for now I’m just using this blog as a tool – the power of social commitment to put up today’s fear challenges:

Today’s fear facing challenges:

• GO OUT AND EXPERIENCE NATURE
• Track everything I’m eating. Last week has just gone overboard with the eating in the evening. Lost all sense of control. Taking some of it back tonight, just by writing it down. Not limiting myself in the amount, but by being real with my self and transparent, I know it will help me get caught in the reactive mood.
• No Facebook, social media or other web pages or apps that don’t add any value to what I want to accomplish today!

…Fuck the routine talk. I’ve had some deep talk with a friend of mine over lunch that made me realize I REALLY need to take time and sit down to figure things out. What the fuck do I want out of life, and how will I get it, THat’s gonna be next week’s challenge. Going up at 04.30 at assigning the first hour solely to figuring this out. I need this, so I need how to focus my fear facing actions.

By the way, I went for an awesome bike ride and check on the other two things as well. Right now I’m debating with myself concerning going to a party tonight or not.  I know there are good reasons for why I should, but the alternative cost is also great – want to finish edit my video.

So it’s the second day into my week challenge of going to bed at 21.15 and getting up at 04.30. It’s nothing I haven’t done before, but I’ve slipped a bit on it the last month. But the biggest thing that’s new with this challenge, is that I need to allocate the two first hours to personal projects. So far, damn – what a difference. This morning I actually got up at four and worked in a great flow state up till running off to work at 09,30. AWESOME MORNING! And coming home from work now, I’m going to give myself some slack since I’ve already done the “musts”.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Been fasting today, and when I do, I lose some of my capability to speak properly. Especially when it comes to English. That’s just for context.

There was a guy sitting diagonally behind me that I had seen a couple of times but hadn’t said hello yet. I felt that I-know-what-I-should-do-feeling growing within on me all day “you should say hello, you should say hello…”.  But I kept ignoring myself until I was about to go home.

“Alex, you haven’t really faced any fears today. And you know it’s a fear of you to go over and introduce yourself. You know what you have to do, don’t flee your destiny”

And so I did and ended up having a NICE conversation, AND walking home feeling damn proud for my daily fear facing push.

Now I’m going to end my 20 hours fast and enjoy the heck out of it with a nice meal of way too much cabbage. Damn do I love that stuff. Over the last three days, I’ve had over 1,5 kgs. Yummy.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

06:20 – Morning

Week challenge starts –  4.30 early birdy every morning. Actually woke up before the alarm went off. Was in the mood to get some things done. Love this whole approach with getting my important stuff done FIRST, and then just delaying the work day a bit. Getting home later, but allowing myself free time then.

The thing is, I’ll EARN time because I’m usually so unproductive in the evening anyway! Just eating not really getting anything done. The amount of work I got done the last couple of hours is.. BOOM! Love. now let’s hit the gym and see if I can beat my 22:10 time for 5 km… Tried to avoid this. Don’t quite feel in the mood for it. But I’m alright with failing, the scariest part is trying! I’m gonna dare to try myself! OFF TO THE GYM!

BOM – I FAILED! But I love myself for doing that. My run was 22:11, one second slower than my record. But I pushed myself good and made myself so proud. Best fail of the day!

Made me continue the fear facing by going for the cold shower, literally said to myself in the shower -“already faced some fears, might as well continue”.

Later at work – Yeah I fear the Standing desk, so I might as well do that for 1,5 hour too while I’m at it.

Fear of investing time in socializing. Usually, I do my lunch ( if any) in 10 minutes. It’s a fear of mine to take time to do this, beacuse it means I need to stay at work longer = less time for my personal projects when I got home. BUT today I joned for a nice lunch out. Had so much fun and great food. Well spent time.

Dared to say no. For sure was a tough one, but simply didn’t have the time. And I also got a very short response wich I intepret in a bad way, and made me feel worse about it. BUT, i need to keep my prioitze straight and can’t overload myslef. I’d really would have liked to help, but right now wasn’t the moment ( Especioully since the long lunch.. Damwn, can’t blaim that one, then I won’t do it again)

Argh… Day went GREAT until I got home. Have a side project I need to finish by tomorrow. I’ve got tons of hours left. GOt home, started, but It just got to me. didn’t know where to begin. And I feel like a jackass for not having finished this thing WAY back. It’s just.. Hard. Really hard with the material I got to work with. And when I get stressed out like this, I eat. So know I’ve eaten for tho hours. Luckily, I have my week challenge of going to bed early and getting up early. And I know I’m gonna kick as tomorrow morning when I wake up, so I’m not bashing myself too hard about this. But it do was a fail. Got a super sweet comment on my latest video too that changed my mood:). Thanks to everyone that’s supporting me:)

Good night folks, see you tomorrow

/Alex

P.S. Video of the day, has made me rethink my whole training approach:

Why You Need To Protect Your Joints If You Want to Live to Be 100 | Peter Attia on Health Theory

Now I know You don’t care shit for this – but what I do publicly, I do so much for my own sake. If I put it out there, it means I need to be true to my word and actually do it. It’s a matter of integrity – matching words and behaviours.

Monday Through Friday I will:

• Go to bed at 21.15
• Go up 04.30 and spend the 2 first hours working with you most important PERSONAL projects.  (Like strategizing and working on my Youtube channel)

Need to distance myself from some things I’ve been overeating, but also to make me get some variation into my food:

• No spicy food.
• I’m not allowed to go into any stores, focus on what’s important

………ARGH, what’s this thing with not finishing my posts? ( when you read this I went back and finished writing what’s above this section) Just realised I’m trying to avoid my fears. There’s a Fear facing meetup in an hour a few km away I’ve been wanting to attend for some time. BUT, been too scared, to be frank. Today, with the video being released early and all. No excuses. I’m going for it. See you later!

Haha… MAN WAS THAT FUN! So glad I went to the meetup, and I for sure faced some fears. The content will make for a nice video the coming Sunday! But to sum it up really quickly, met some nice like minded people. We all talked and introduced ourselves, and then we went out there and crushed some comfort zones. Recorded the whole experience, which was kind of the scariest part. Asking them if it was alright, and then documenting while doing it all. But the whole fear facing action I took was also super fun! One of the guys decided to lie down in at the busiest people street in Stockholm – Drottninggatan – while doing a live Facebook stream. And my challenge was to get other people to join him there. It went quite well:). PHave patience, and you’ll see the whole thing next Sunday!

WHAT A GREAT SUNDAY!

See you tomorrow, Fear Facers,

/Alex

P.S Here’s the weekly Sunday video:)

Hey what’s up?

I’m going to start being more deliberate in the fears I face. Planning so things won’t be as random. Like in the morning, decide upon at least one particular fear I’m going to face. Because lately it’s been starting to slip out of my hands, especially since I stopped doing the daily posts!

Daily Fear Facing:

Total lack of focus today, need 50 minutes of editing while NOT doing ten other things at the same time. GO!

BOM. Failed the first attempt after 35 minutes so had to redo it, and now I had just finished an AWESOME 80 minute intense edit moment! Started the day off with allowing myself to be all over the place, and once that behaviour was established, I wasn’t able to get anything IMPORTANT done. And getting back to the structure for sure required and effort, but now I’m there again and. And no more anxiety about doing shit I’m not supposed to do just because it’s easy.

The daily New thing

I’m sitting here drinking a little bit of Rum. I have a home exam I need to turn in today. It’s been my focus since 05,30 this morning. And evening me this week. But I dared myself to try something new, so I poured myself a tiny glass for me and my brother. It’s cosey. If you know me, you know I’m not the alcohol guy. But this is a special moment? Don’t know, but I need to push myself to dare to do things, drinking alcohol scares the crap out of me because I’m afraid of dying. Damn, didn’t expect that to come out, but it’s the truth. Health and longevity is a big part of my life. But learning to accept death is also a key thing we need to go through to reach the next level of spirituality – if you ask me. Or maybe I’m sitting here writing all this because of procrastination –  not doing what I’m supposed to do. FINISHING MY GOT DAMN HOME EXAM ANALYSIS – SO GET TO IT ALEX!

Daily Fear facing:

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Been an intense start of this week. Yesterday I cramed in 17 hours of work. Today a bit less. The remarkable thing whit having too much stuff to do, is that you don’t stop to think twice about those fears. You just act. Beacuse you don’t have a choice unless you want to disappoint other people. And that – to me – trumps whatever fear is in my way.  Also, you work up this great momentum.

A learning from this is that we need to build up this self-respect. To not be okay with letting ourselves down without first putting up a real fight. I’ve reached quite long when it comes to this as a result of working on my self-esteem, as it’s a fundamental part of it. But then comes the next problematic step we need to stay aware of.  Unawareness, cover-ups and the stories we tell ourselves.

You  – I – get scared of challenging yourself because you know that once it’s out there – you are going to do it! or at least fight hard and long for it. And that sucks. Hard. But that’s when the results, growth and happiness comes! That is as long as you don’t get maniac about it. Like working 17 hours in a row is just stupid. If you do it every day. Once and a while it’s good to prove to yourself what you’re made of.

Man am I all over the place today. Anyways, just came up from the gym where I faced some particular fears of mine. Making people dislike me. But, in a cause of standing up for myself! Was this guy that just let go of the cables, letting the wights crash down making a crazy loud noise. Now I’m not the gut that easily gets irritated, but that was just plain laziness as it wasn’t even that heavyweights.

I identified the fear. After a while. Tried to come up with these excuses,  like myself not being the perfect guy on the gym.   You’re such a Hypocrite! But it kept getting worse. The feeling of telling someone something that will make that person not like me, It just fu**n hard for me. Eventually, I couldn’t neglect the fact that it was a perfect practice opportunity for me to stand up for what I believed in. So I did it.

Excuse me, do you mind not just letting go of the weights like that. Hurts my ears.

He mumbled and looked away. But problem fixed and I felt proud. Nice work Alex, you successfully managed to be the winey guy! Sweet!

Routine #2 – New thing

Put Philadelphia cheese in my green tea with Kiwi.

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail

Put Philadelphia cheese in my green tea with Kiwi.

See you when I see you, Fear Facer,

🙂

/Alex

I’ll keep it to a minimum for a while, but just to keep myself reminded of following through on these habits! ..AND to dare me to put up some fear DARES.

This early Tuesday morning I’ve identified a fear of a rest day. Been at it hard and intense for almost three week’s in a row without a break. Need it. Fear challenge accepted. AND with that, at least a 16 hour fast.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

I have a regional meeting coming up tonight. Used to scare me a lot, now I’m rather looking forward to it.

Routine #2 – New thing

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail

I’ll fill it up as the day run along.

Good luck with yours, Fear Facer,

/Alex