Why do I keep posting these small things? I’ve said it before, and I say it again. It’s about establishing this key habit of facing my fears. Daily. Creating the momentum so that when the big fears appear, there’s no hesitation. Or well, Not enough to stop me at least!

More to it, the small daily fears I face. They become a statement for who I am and what I believe in. I do what’s necessary to take me towards my goals. As long as it aligns with my values and beliefs of course.

AND EVEN MORE TO IT, the small daily things, they pay off as well.  It’s like interest on interest. It adds up. It pushes me to interact and engage with people. It Pushes me to test my self in a workout context. It pushes me to learn where my boundaries are. It pushes me beyond my boundaries so that I fail. Not only so that I know where they lie, but so that I can learn from my  (fail)experiences. It makes my life more fun, exciting and memorable. There’s no doubt about it.

I forgot to write about my little go-to-daily-fear-action I did yesterday. You see when I feel I haven’t faced any real fears, I have my safe bet I always can pull. I approach some people or person and just wish them a happy day/evening. Found myself in this exact very state yesterday afternoon. I can choose what level I want to be at by targeting people that look more or less intimidating. Yesterday, after having passed 10 other people I intended to approach. I finally saw two cute girls and approached them. Wishing them a nice evening. They smiled a bit surprised and wished me the same. A nice little moment. Nothing special, but I felt proud for doing it.

Point being – chose a fear facing action you know you can always pull even on your “weak” days. Keeping the habit going.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing 

There’s been this guy at work I haven’t said hello to in over a month. Yet we’ve run past each other so many times. Each time I’ve felt

“damn Alex, you really should have said hello to this guy week’s ago.But I can’t do it now after so much time has past. That would just be super weird!”

NO. EXCUSES. So today I just spontaneously did it as I was just about to leave the office. Super nice guy. We shared some common denominators and will probably have some future collaborations (In the context of my work). Identified fear. Execution. BOM. Reward = proudness and possible good opportunities.

Routine #2 – New thing

This was actually a fear push as well, but been so much writing about me facing my training fears lately so skipped this one. It became my daily new thing as I did INTENSE intervals at the treadmill. GREAT WORKOUT. Great. BUT FOR SURE A REAL DISCMOFORTFULL FEAR FACING PAIN IN THE BUT.

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail

Had a real fun workday.  Dared to be a bit bold and gutsy. Fail to win! Now I didn’t fail in that context, but I did fail in my ability to focus on one thing at the time. Was a bit all over the place. I know that’s not the most effective way of working. I can do better. I will do better. Because I’m aware of what Im doing and I intend to improve!

See you tomorrow, Fear FAcer,

/Alex

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Afternoon workout. I had dared myself to do that today. But I feared it. The agony and the pain that awaited. Wanting it to to be over before it was even close to starting. Dreaded for it all day. I Always get so tired in the afternoon. No exception this time. But I pumped myself up. I talked myself into it the last hour leading up to Go-time. I bashed myself in the chest, screamed some and then I went for it.

“I’M GONNA MAKE THIS AN EPIC WORKOUT -AAAHH”

And then it was. An EPIC workout that is. I combined it with my Routine #2 – Daily New thing – listening to some hip-hop/rap. Haven’t done that in a while. It contributed to making the whole thing feel like a new and exciting experience. Great energy boost after my a bit tiered low key work day, where I got stuck thinking about what I’m currently doing with my life in a negative spirit.

I’m really all over the place with my music, and I love it. Ended the workout walking to the grocery store listening to a symphony orchestra. Spotify <3.

Routine #3 – Daily Fail 

Letting tiered thoughts get to me. Yes, I was a bit down today. A sense of meaninglessness with what I was doing flooded my mind. Made everything seem pointless for a moment or two. Or three. It got to me. It got to me.

But if something wrong, you better find out what it is so you can fix it. Or at least initiate the process of change. You can’t sit around being sad. You are responsible for your life. I am responsible for my life, and It’s only I who can change my situation.

So being there today, I did something about. I changed my mood. And that’s the short-term fix. And sometimes that’s the only fix needed.  There will always be fluctuations in our state of being, but the quicker you can identify that something is off, the quicker you can do something about it. Life is short. Too short to sit around being moody.

The picture at the top of this post represents 90 years worth of boxes in weeks. 4692,86 to be exact. It’s to remind me that I’m going to die and to not waste my life away!

See you tomorrow, fear facer,

/Alex

Evening walk home

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Long day. Long day. Got to bed too late yesterday, as I had to finish my Sunday video! Link further down. Had so much fun with that edit, and for sure faced some fears to pull that one off. However, I really must reflect upon how easy these kinds of things have started to become. For sure still a pain, but way less than it used to. To the power of repetition and exposure to fear!

…Long day I started out with. Yes, and a bit sleep deprived. And with that, you lose so much of your willpower. Woke up this morning and had a sweet as chest workout. Promised myself great things for this day, for this week. But a long work day later and I’m just blasted. So no crazy approach or anything on my way home. Nevertheless, I did identify some fears at work. Actually, it floated around in the back of my head for a couple of hours before I realized I tried to escape it. Wrote it down. And after that empty box stared right into my face, it needed to be checked. Made the approach. Talked. Connected. Started to get to know a new person, and I’m really glad for doing so. Proud for facing those fears. Small thing. But big enough to count.

Routine #2 – Daily Fail 

Wrote this Friday about how I did a little blunder at work. replied an email in a sloppy interpreted way. Nothing that big, really. But I noticed today how I now started to create these stories in my head about how I’m judged and doing an awful job. That’s just bull shit. But I let it drag me down before putting an end to it. Being aware enough to catch on to what was going on. Then looked at the objective reality and accepting that it was just my own crazy talk. Fail – win. Calling my bluff.

Routine #3 – New Thing(s)

Tried a new tea, pukka lemongrass ginger. Too much new things have been trying new tea flavours lately, need to spice things up!  Not literally.

This Sunday Fear Facing Video:

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer

/Alex

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Mostly I’ve been sitting indoors in front of the computer. Editing. I did go to the “jump & dance” group session I’ve joined a couple of times lately. It’s interesting how I feel no fear to this now. I’m simply getting comfortable with it! The usual self-judging thoughts of my ill coordination – no more.

That is UNTIL a girl I found attractive ended up standing next to me. Instivncley my overthinking brain took over.  Self-Judging thoughts.

“Man, you suck at this. Not the arms that way, the other way. Oh, can you see how she’s looking at you? And it’s not in the damn-I-look-good-today way.”

Although I quikly managed to speak myself out of that behaviour it and NOT care as much.  Very good practice. Indeed. I care about my progress and having fun. In this context.

Routine #2 – One New Thing

Practised doing handstands at my gym. Breaking the regular workout routine after the group work out . And then I actually sat my as down on the bike and read some. Nice. Very nice.

I’ve started to implement a reading habit before allowing to go to sleep. As soon as I lie down, I need to read at least one page. Been doing so for 4 days in a row now. Gives me an urge to go to bed!

If you want a short summary video on how to implement new habits, this one is a good one:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LdhudFvJuE

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail

I LOVE when I get to have a nice editing project to just embrace myself in. I’ve been editing Friday evening, all day yesterday, and all day long today. Minus some workout and running down to the stores to by some stuff for perhaps 1 hour. I’m having real fun with it, and it surprises me how I can get so caught up in this state of flow. BUT, I also had a plan to ask the gym girl I approached a couple of weeks back, out for a walk again. I keep deprioritizing my social life/relationships, and I know that’s not sustainable.

But, I don’t really know if I can call this weekend a fail or a win. It’s been amazing, still. I know I have some issues with the way I live my life that I really need to figure out! There’s a reason for why I haven’t been dating anyone seriously for years now. And I want to change that, but that requires changing my life… Tough one.

See you tomorrow, Fear facer,

/Alex

Yes. In Life. In myself. In all the people around me. In the possibilities that lie in front of me. All I need to do is to act on all these chances of making life happen. Every day. I can do that?

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

In last nights blog post I challenged myself to do an Instagram post, since it’s gone way too long time since last time. So I did that. Felt good.  Doubled the fear by facing some squat agony at the same time. Gotdamn they are a pain in the but, but man does it feel good afterwards.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Alexander Nilsson (@alenils)

I’ll update the post as the day progresses. Right now I’m having SO MUCH FUN EDITING YESTERDAYS #MINIADVENTURE.

Routine #2 – New Thing(s)

– ARHARHRHAHRGH

I got a mini shot bottle pumped with 180 mg of caffeine. I only get caffeine from Tea. And I I’m restrained with my use of it. Taking that little bottle today, this morning, HYPERLAPSED ME INTO A OVERLY ENERGIZED STATE. IT’S REALLY FUN. 2 HOUR AMAZING WORKOUT. FUN FUN FUN.

Routine #2 – Daily Fail ( updated )

Failed to finish the blog post and write this thing. Learning? If you pre-post, set a reminder for later to finish it!

YO!

Was just about to go to bed when I realized I hadn’t posted!

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Haha… So many fears that have been met today… I’ll guess today’s actions you’ll just have to see for your self in the Sunday video. But it for sure was a fun little mini adventure I put up for myself!

Besides that, did my usual Friday Live stream! Felt good leading up to it, mostly just excited! Faced some fears DURING the stream as a frequent commenter Jaquen joined, and the guy intimidates me a bit. Spoke my mind and felt good about it. See for your self! Link further down.

Routine #2 – New thing

Well, let’s just say I hitchhiked. Haven’t done that before – it was FUN!

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail(s)

Two things:

I very sloppy replied to my boss yesterday in an email. A failed, and I had to eat up today. Learning – read through email more thoroughly.

I was very clumsy at the end of my live stream.. Learning – Don’t put your teacup IN your keyboard. See for yourself.

Tomorrow’s fear challenge Dare:

– Post an Instagram picture ( perfections Alex take over when I haven’t done it in a while)

– Stay off social media throughout the day

See you tomorrow, fear facer,

/Alex

Short one today! But as long as the daily active search and execution happen, I’m doing it right – keeping that momentum going and building on the process of making it autonomous.  Long day, but a good day. Enjoy going to work, look forward to it when I wake up! Love my new role as 25%marketer, 75 % engineer. Didn’t mind the Grey autumn rain either – when you’re on the inside, you’re on the inside! …And you’ve got your tea.  What else do you need?! Yeah I know, some ginger.

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

– Cold Fears

Cold shower. Yes, this is a fear I face every time I’m about to do it. Turning that handle to the coldest. But it kicks the day off in a great way. And it’s always worth it.

“Okay, I start with this fear and it’ll get me the momentum to continue”

…and it always does!

– The hug

Saw my old team leader. Realised I wanted to hug her because she’s a really good person whom I like a lot, and it’s been a while since I got a hug from her. Avoided it a couple of times. Then a good opportunity emerged and I couldn’t escape my faith. I’m going in for the hug…

Top moment. She instinctively hugged me back in such a great way. GREAT WAY. Social connection, physical connection, we as human beings need it. If you ask me. Makes me warm just thinking about it. And I mean that all in a friendly caring way.

– How’s it going with that thing… ?

Dared to ask a  person a personal thing I’ve been wanting to ask for some time now. It’s a complicated situation,m I want to help, but don’t want to put pressure. It’s a good thing I asked, it’s gotten wors.e Need to be there, need to help.

Overall, just keep having fun with my colleges. And it’s a fear of mine to invest time just socializing due to the missed opportunity of WORKING MORE! Tons of great people at the office. Great people.

Routine #2 – New thing

Accidently dropped half a Kiwi in my Green Tea, liked the look of it and put in the rest. My new favourite tea! Sweet!

Routine #2 – The daily Fail

Hm… Yeah, really think things through, been waiting for a thing at work for a week. Realized today I could have gotten started 4 days ago. Need to make a phone call tomorrow… But great learning in terms of starting things up; Sit down and really put the facts on the table. Don’t assume the bottleneck is somewhere else before you’re all checked in on reality!

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

Routine #1 – Daily Fear Facing

Don’t know about that title, it just came to me.  Just like the urge I just had to approach and talk to a stranger before allowing myself to go home. So 10 minutes ago, I did just that.

“Excuse me, but I would just like to wish you a great evening”

“Oh, I don’t want anything sorry!”

“I don’t want to sell you anything, I just wanted to wish you a great evening!”

“Haha.. Okay! Thank you. I’m not so good in Swedish”

…And so a short fun conversation was taking off. Her name was Liza and she had just ended a workout an was waiting for a friend. A simple little fear facing action that led to me having a nice conversation with a random stranger. Great fun!

Overall, this day has just been amazing. Identified a ton of small fears through the day in different situations. Sent some tough emails. Told my dentist that I haven’t used flour toothpaste regularly in like 5 years after he telling me I should use it more. Even though my teeth looked fine and dandy!  Took a cold shower. Pushed me to have a ton of small little conversations at work.

These social pushes at work really are starting to pay off. Enjoy the socializing with people at work more and more. Usually, I distance myself from colleagues to get more work done. But the increase in feeling a part of the team is worth it, and pays off so much in areas and opportunities that emerge.

Today, right now after this day – I just feel like I’m walking on clouds. And yeah, I almost forgot. I got the most incredible letter sent to me from a college I didn’t know that well.  The story was that on the flight home from Croatia this Sunday,   I helped a guy out that was looking for his earplug for his headphones, and comforted a girl when there was some turbulence since she was afraid of flying. Nothing special I thought, just being a human being! But she got moved by my actions and said that she admired my behaviour and gave some hope to our society.

I’m really not saying this to talk about MY actions, as I’ve sad, to me that’s common sense. But her honest compliment made me feel warm and all fuzzy inside.  My point being, when you see someone doing something you admire – express that! Share your emotions and thoughts. I make sure to do this myself, and people always get so happy. Just read my blog post I did two days ago when I complimented our CEO on his speech. He too got genuinely happy.

– go out there and remind people of what they’re doing good!

Routine #2 – Doing something New

Since I stopped working in Täby 4 weeks ago, I haven’t been biking anything. It’s strange going from a daily 40 km commute 4-5 days a week, down to zero. But today I biked 20 km to the dentist and back AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Damn, I miss the biking.

Routine #3 – Failing & Learning  Daily

I’ve not been taking care of my neck for the last couple of days, and know it hurts like F*CK. Have an old whiplash injury. Learning, Don’t sit in a bad way, make sure to get up and move around at least every 50 minutes and do my neck exercises!

08:23

Ah! Decided to take a day fast and no workout. But I wanted to get myself a bit more excited, even though I did already feel good about the day. Tiered I guess is the word. To little sleep. So I decided to change my thought patterns by wearing something new – my suit jacket! Haven’t worn that for work basically since my first work interview here. Why not today?

A small thing, but it just got me pumped and ignited something within. GOt in the mood, put on some loud music. AND BAM. I’m just kicking it. Entered the office space with a great attitude and just had so much fun with everyone here. The small things can make all the difference. It’s going to be a great day, I’ll make sure of it.

21:24

So, tiered , again. My total lack of willpower as a result of my lack of sleep is fascinating. I keep eating and eating. I should have gone to bed  two hours ago, but I’m even to tiered to do that. I’ve even given up on my usual blog structure: I’ll get back to it. I’m just temporarly chaotic. Great work day tough. A lot of social fear pushes. And some nice.. I don’t even remember what I was going to say. Looked away for a moment.

New thing – had canned “fish buns” for dinner. It was digusting. Makes me appreciate good natural homemade food even more. todays fail –  for sure my lost of control in the kitchen. I’ve impelented a “i’m the driver” mantra I repat to myself in the kitchen to not eat while standing. Went out the window today.

Now sleep. Nighty.

What’s up?!

Didn’t post yesterday. But I faced some fears for sure. So have I’ve done today.

Landed in Sweden around midnight after a real nice – fear induced – weekend trip to Croatia with the company I work for. Sleep deprived for two nights in a row now. Barley any willpower due to exhaustion. Trying to finish a paper I had due this Friday since I’m studying part-time too. but all I seem to do is eat. No. Willpower. Left. Needed to write this now…

• I dare myself to not eat anything more this evening.

F*ck. Now I can’t… damn it. Part of me screams. So scary to put these things out, because that means I HAVE to do it. That is, don’t do it. Eating that is. I’m tired.

Anyways, besides that, I gave direct feedback to the company CEO on his speech he did this weekend. Scary. Did not expect him to get as thankful for it. He said people usually never dare to say anything. Even though it was positive feedback.

Continued on a couple of hours later giving some constructive feedback to one of my bosses. He too was very thankful.

ARGH.. need to finish my paper. See you tomorrow, fear facer.

…and yeah, the daily FAIL – the eating tonight. The Daily New thing – long time since I had this little sleep. Makes it even more clear to me how I fail myself when I don’t get enough of it!

/Alex