– You know it’s going to be a great day when you randomly, without even a second of hesitation or reflection, stop the smiling woman walking towards you and tell her to keep glowing and spreading that joy!
05,30 – Ahh, just woke up and I’m so excited for the day! Not only did I have all these great dreams. Met with old friends, talked to some girls, drove around in some crazy buss like a big field trip – A real adventure! Love it. The excitement in my parallel life. And the best of all is that it sets the mood for the rest of the day.
That’s also why the bad dreams tend to set the mood for the rest of the day. Or well, you start in an uphill! It’s even worse when you don’t remember that bad shit that went down so you can’t rationalize yourself out of it. You’re just left with a feeling of something being horribly wrong! That’s when gratefulness, positive self-talk, journaling, workout, good music, cold showers, meditation or some motivational videos really play a huge importance! Luckily that wasn’t today? …Although I still did all those things!
The second reason for why this is an amazing day is thanks to my mindset change of last night. As I wrote about in yesterday’s blog, it’s been so much lately with all my different projects overwhelming me. Where my daily 5 minutes minimum of meditation being the only time free from all the musts.
But I woke up yesterday. The ignition point being the video I linked yesterday. And a build up towards a feeling of something being fundamentally wrong with my state of being. The video itself wasn’t that special or something I haven’t heard before, but it unlocked my previous way of thinking. To not take life to serious, to make got damn sure to enjoy it. To take action and do the very best I can. Not overanalyse or think too much. Just do it! And do it for my sake in first hand. If I’m not happy, I can’t help others to be either.
The video for sure didn’t say all that, but I did. I don’t know how, but somehow, I just managed to shake all the downer emotions off. Because the feeling within today is just… And I know It will stick!
Enough said, let’s get into some small daily fear facing action. As I’ve said so many times before, it’s not about the big things, it’s about implementing a behaviour and mindset always close at hand. By doing small things daily, you’ll have the momentum to do bigger things once the opportunity pops up! And I say this by experience.
– The treadmill push
Such a push at the treadmill. I was just going to have an easy jog while working through some thoughts of mine for a career goal meeting that was scheduled for later. But I started to pull in that little string that I felt lurking around in the back of my head.
“You’re on a treadmill Alex. You have the potential to make this a great exercise, pushing yourself. Proving to yourself that you’re the kind of person that does the hard thing. Because you know greatness lays on the other side of that wall. “
I try to generalize all nuances of fears to just being “a fear”. Then It’s simple – I have to do it if it aligns with my goals or values. Knowing a tough and painful workout awaits is scary as shit. To dare to enter that uncomfortable state of mind. To endure those physical pains. I’d say it’s probably one of the biggest reasons for why in 9 out 10 cases do all my training in the morning. That means I don’t have to walk around thinking about what lays ahead. Can just rip the bandage straight off. As I’ve said before, meet your fears as soon as you can, and you are more likely to follow through.
Speaking of letting myself down, one of the other big reasons for me fearing a tough workout is that I might quit on myself. Leaving myself disappointed. And If I don’t try, I can’t disappoint myself. So, the easy fix is to not. But that’s just a bad excuse. FACING THE FEAR IS THE CHALLENGE THE BIG CHALLENGE, the outcome is secondary.
Anyways – the identified fear was out there. Make a killer workout out of this. Now I’m not saying all workout should be this way, but I knew I had it in my today! So, I sat the speed at 13 km/h and then I just ran and ran and kept slowly increasing it. I maxed out my pulse at 187 towards the last two minutes at 16 km/h. It was an amazing intense 5+ km run that just kicked the day of in a wonderful way. Only thanks to being aware enough to identify that fear, and then daring to challenge myself.
– The fear
Then after a easier downtempo jog, I left the gym. Just as I exited a smiling woman was walking in my direction. I could see her smile 10 meters away. It just made me even more happy, and without a blink of an eye I stopped her and said:
“Excuse me, but I just love the way you smile. It makes me and so many else so happy. Promise me you’ll keep doing that, and I’ll love you for it!”
She smiled even more and promised to continue spreading the joy.
– The office mingle party
I think It was Monday I wrote about how I signed up to this office mingle party, but dreaded for it. Historically social gathering used to be very tough on me. Social anxiety. Social hangover – self-critical and judgemental thoughts. This time perhaps more about the fear of losing my valuable evening time. But there never was any anxiety or fear present to day. Not Building up to the thing or during it. I just had a great time, mingled and talked to new people and had some great food. Just a very nice evening. So hear it was only fear of fear that never happened. What a waste!
As the clock closes in to 22, I’m even more certain than ever that coming period will be a great one. The mood for sure persisted. Everything just felt right. It’s rather effortless to speak my mind and be myself. I felt so at home at the office. Not like an outcast that accidently ended up behind this desk. The fraud waiting to get caught. No, I felt like I belonged in a way I hadn’t before in this context. And I loved it.
See you tomorrow, Fear facer,