Me and my German work colleague Daniel’s back head

Ah Italy, I haven’t really seen too much of you, yet I’m very much enjoying myself. Even though it’s an intense business trip. Now, I won’t be long this evening – got an early morning. Plus, to say I’m brain dead is quite the understatement as I’m lying here in bed trying to digest the 4000+ kcal 4 course dinner I just had. Allowed myself some breathing room after a couple of strict controlled food weeks. But you don’t care about that, neither do you care that I’m staying at some five star hotel, with an huge outdoors/indoors thermal pool and Spa. Fancy place indeed. Yet I keep going. Why?

It’s simple – variety or change, is good for you and it could be a lifesaver when it comes in the right moments. That goes for the bad changes as well, preferably only short term though. It lies some huge possibility for you to get some perspective on things – on life! Or easily accessible insights is perhaps a better way of putting it. You appreciate what you have – had – to a whole new level. and you just start thinking about how you really live your life. At least this is my experience.

When you stay at one place or position for too long; work, school, routines, place of living, life design; the everyday tends to get taken for granted. And don’t get my wrong, I’m the routine-habit guy and loves that! It has so many benefits and gives me energy to do those extra things that makes my days stand out; try new things and connect with random people, etc. But once and a while those big safety net, our comfort places like work or place we live at holds us back from letting go and leveling up. And sometimes a get a way trip and just breaking all those regular life patterns, makes you distance yourself far enough to realize that what you hold the dearest, might also be what holds you back the most. comfort, security, or just plain laziness.

So as I was lying in the thermal outside pool tonight, looking at a fulmoon through the water vaporizing, I had one of those moments when I knew something big had to change. New time. Scarry times. But that’s when you know you’re on to something good.

So do me a favour will ya? Think about what changes that you would like to happen in your life, and then think about what really is the worst that could happen if you went for it and failed. Would it be impossible to go back o what you had previously? But also, what it would mean if it actually played out well?

Sleep tight,

/Alexander

P.S. and Yeah, here’s an inspirational video for you by a favorutie guy of mine, brendon:

NEVER CHANGE YOUR PLANS AT 6.0 A.M

What’s up guys? Me? I’m good, thanks for asking. I’m actually mid-air somewhere over the Netherlands. You see I’m on my first ever business trip as an engineer (only been at it for 1.5 years). And me and my college Mattias are heading for Italy, a cosy village (by rumour) a 1 hour taxi drive from Venice airport. However, considering how this morning started, I’m not taking anything for granted until I’m lying in my hotel bed having wet dreams about tomorrows hotel breakfast!

You see, I have a history of notoriously messing up my traveling somehow, weather I forget something crucial or just stress out way too much over an overly optimistic time approach. But this time I had decided it would be different. I was determined! So yesterday I prepared the trip perfectly! I wrote an extensive well thought out packing list, collected all the things and crossed them of one by one as I neatly packed them into my new virgin weekend bag I’d been dying to use.

But so as the morning came – I woke up with a bit stressed out and with a gut feeling telling me something was bound to go wrong. But I ignored it and hurried on; took out my lunchbox while simultaneously brushing my teeth. It was all prepared and the bag was standing by the door, just needed to get dressed. Nothing could go wrong

The only problem was that I got such craving for jogging – which Is my usual way of getting to work. But I had mentally accepted that it wasn’t going to happen due to the close to impossible task of running with a weekend bag. The instant urge to run did however overthrow all sense of rationality and detailed plan for how this morning was going to play out.

“We can do this Alex” I thought to myself proudly for making a decision that would add some workout to my day. I shouldn’t have been. Never change your plans spontaneously 6 A.M in the morning

I throw myself in the wardrobe looking for alternatives. “Ah there you are my dear Thailand backpacking old friend”. I reached for the worn backpack, which by the look of it was half the size of the weekend bag I’d already packed. “We can make this work, we have to.”

Getting increasingly more stressed out due to the extra time this repacking takes. I know everything in the already packed bag has to come, so it’s risk free. Right? *Zhiit..*. Somehow, I manage to fit it all in and magically close it. I swear I could hear it cry for help.

Then I remember – the Passport! in the hidden pocket on the inside! “Puh, almost had me there.”  Filled with a tremendous sense of success for winning over the usual travel-failing-alex, I jumped in the jogging shoes and were on my way out the door quicker than I could think. Great success!

3,5 kilometers later I arrive at the train station, realizing that something feels off with my bag. The big zipper had unzipped, and all my clothes were exposed. “Did I dropped something? I don’t know and It’s too late to do anything about it anyways. At least I got the passport.” I sat down do meditate. BAM – it hits me  “The lunch box at the table! Damn… At least I got the passport.”

50 minutes later, standing naked in the shower room at the gym, looking down a totally empty bag. Feeling a sense of equal emptiness within when accepting that I forgot to empty one of the pockets in the weekend bag.

“I Guess I won’t be needing my phone charger, headphone charger or my watch charger. At least I got the passport… Never change your plans at 6 A.M alex. Never.“

See what I did there? This week’s challenge is all about practicing storytelling, and i just sneaked in a practice run! The idea was to follow a three-part structure that was introduced in the weekly challenge video (link). How do you think I did? Just shared an every day event that happened this morning, and that’s the idea. Share more stories, but do it in an captivating way! Not saying this happens to me every morning, but still?.

See you tomorrow guys, now I’m going to dream about my coming break fast.

/Alexander

P.S it’s late at the hotel room and I need to get up in a couple of hours, so I haven’t really had time to check what I wrote for shitty grammatical mistakes. Just sayin’.

Hungry for some personal development this week? I know I am. Because it’s Sunday and that means it’s time for a new weekly challenge! And this week we’ll continue in the path of developing our social skills, in fact, we’ll practice our story telling abilities. So, in my video I’ll share the most straight to the point expert’s tips I’ve found on how to become a better story teller. I then outline a simple challenge for us to execute on this week, Monday through Friday. Hurray!

First off, why do we need to be good at telling stories? Well, we don’t need to, but if you want to be a likeable and charismatic person – then it’s a safe bet! I think we all know how spellbinding it can be to listen to captivating story teller.  But more to it, we are human beings that constantly interact and connect with each other – at least we used to – and mastering storytelling is one of the fundamentals to do that. Not only does a good social life make us happier and live longer (research – how’s that for a reference! Seriously, check out Susan Pinker or Brené Brown), but it’s also shortcut to getting what we want. Getting new friends, keeping old friends, finding the love of your life, getting a job – they won’t happen unless you can carry yourself socially! Unless you’re a fortunate, rich, handsome son of a..  – good for you!

But telling stories doesn’t only mean epic Thailand adventure, being offered cocaine from a Thailander’s long dirty fingernail in the middle of the night in some remote fishy place (not saying that happened) – no, it can be way less! There are so many potentially good mini-stories that happens in your life. In the right context, and with some thought through storytelling techniques & structure, it can elevate you to a storytelling guru.

“Oh you should have seen the girl I talked to this morning on the train. She was absolutely stunning with golden hair and a voice like your mother! How’s your mother doing by the way? Anyways, you’ll never believe what happened when I sat down next to her and told her that…”.

Now, I’m no expert. But I listen to experts, and I’ve been putting quite some hours into studying the theory of storytelling. So, here’s a video that I’ve found that delivers an easily understood approach on how to improve your storytelling skills. I recommend you check out the full video, where you’ll be guided through some examples were the theory is applied. This makes it much more digestible. In my video I cut that out due to keeping it shorter (I know you have an attention span as bad as.. as mine), but also so that you’d go watch his video.

Without further ado, here’s Improvement pills take on Storytelling – “Become An AMAZING Storyteller!!!”

But so, how will we structure this week’s challenge? It’s simple we pick at least one story from our lives, we then sit down and write it down while applying what we’ve just learnt. My recommendation – chose a short one, that will increase the likelihood of you actually doing this. My experience is telling me. I’m going to aim for around 1-3 minutes. Being able to shorten and prolong a story is another skill in itself, but we can talk more about that another time.

I know many of you won’t write it out, then fine – don’t. Keep it in your head. But for maximum development – I say do! We’ll then try to tell this story as many times as possible throughout the week. Remember not to forcefully squeeze in your story in all situations, the context for telling one is just as important. Hence, you’d perhaps pick something that could have a broader applicability. Like a funny thing that happened – that always work.

 “You won’t believe what happened to me the other day..”

The Objectives:

• Choose at least one story from your life write it out using the 3-act story structure presented in the video. Pick a short one.
• Practice telling the stories to different persons at least one time a day, Monday through Friday.

Level 2 bonus Challenge:

• Approach a random person, start a conversation and find an opening to tell your story.

This challenge may feel weird, but it gives us the clarity and specificity of improving on a skill. Learning from last week’s challenge when I aimed to broad and just got overwhelmed – tried to improve 3 charismatic traits all at the same time. It’s a win-fail if you apply your learnings!

Now I’m going to Italy this week, and my plan is (if there’s time, and if I actually get my own room) to do a live stream and tell you a story from my life. If you have any suggestions on what you want to hear, let me know in the comments. Also, if you’re doing this challenge – let me know that as well! Social commitment is POWERFUL.

See you in the week guys, and good luck.

?

/Alexander

Hungry for more on storytelling, here’s a playlist from Charisma On Command on storytelling:

Today I’m going to be lazy. After all, it’s Saturday. Then you’re allowed to give yourself some slack (can you hear how I’m trying to convince myself?). So instead of rambling on about my life, I’m going to contribute this post to celebrate SLEEP. Zzz… BORING!

Ah, dear, wonderful, amazing, snoring sleep. Thank you for returning. This past week I slept like shit, too many big questions floating around on the inside of my blond hairy covered scull (didn’t I just say I wasn’t going to talk about my life?!). But so finally last night I had a good 8,5 hours of lovely sleep. And it was like my whole system had rebooted when I woke up. Freshly scanned for virus, malware, spyware – all my shit had been removed. I could even play out 4k visions. And it was all covered in the free version, didn’t even need to sign up for an email list! Everything is so clear and stunning, and I’m filled to the top with joy and happiness. Life IS effortless. Even my other much needed daily powernaps were skipped (practically do that every day at work).

Enough said, remember – dare to be lazy! That’s all the time I’m going to take from you, and instead share the best video I’ve seen so far on why we need to sleep properly (and I’ve seen a lot as the self-help/wellbeing YouTube junkie that I am).

The worst part about this blog post is that I’m a big of a hypocrite, because I rarely get more than 6 hours during weekdays. HOWEVER, since watching this video 2 weeks ago, I’ve at least made sure to be lying in the bed for 7 hours ( 80% true ). Unfortunately that didn’t help this week..

So here goes, 14 minutes of amazing sleep facts to make you understand that prioritizing more sleep makes life much, much better. And yeah, it’s beautifully edited together and super nicely narrated, enjoy:

YouTube Channel: What I’ve Learned

Video description:

“70% of the articles and books I’ve read on sleep will say something like “Sleep is one of the big mysteries of biology” at least once. While it is not 100% understood, there is a lot that is known about the impressive health, fitness and anti-aging effects of sleep. Sleep is particularly important for memory, mental flexibility, creativity and the development of novel insights. If you’re someone who’s staying up to get more done, you may be sacrificing your chance at sparking that big idea that takes you to the next level. Even for the body, if you’re aiming to gain muscle or just sleep, you’re shooting yourself in the foot by not getting enough sleep.”

WHY Sleep is critical for the Body and Brain | Science of Sleep

And yeah, it’s a part two as well which gives you pratcial tips for HOW to sleep more!

Thanks for being you, since you read my blog, and that I very much appreciate. I guess it feeds my ego, anyways – thanks:)

/Alexander

Hey, What’s up with you? Me, I’m happy. I’m in a good mood. Plus, It’s Friday (safe bet on the good mood part) and that means evaluation of this week’s challenge. If you don’t now what I’m talking about, here’s the quick run:

For almost 2 years now, every sunday, I’ve put up a weekly challenge within an area of personal development on my youtube channel. This week I decided to work on my charisma, which meant trying to improve on these body language areas:

– How I use my body and hands

– Having a wide variety in voice and tonality

– How I use my facial expressions

The idea was to practice these skills in all my conversations throught the week. But, especiously going in with a foused mind when having my twice-a-day coffee breaks at work. If you want to se the introduction video, check it out here: link:

So how did it went? Well, not the way I wanted to – had some high expectations of me transforming into this awesome capetating storytelller! That didn’t happen. Bummer. But did I got some practice and good learnings from this experience. The biggest one perhaps getting reminded of the misstakes I’ve done plenty of times before: YOU NEED TO FOUS IN ON DEVELOPING ONE SPECIFIC SKILL AT THE TIME!

That’s just how it is. If you ask how a pro volleyball player practicies to become the best, he’ll tell you how he (she?) brakes down his general goal of beoming “a better player” to tiny digastable processes that can be analysed and improved upon. Like practicing doing a smash. That’s a tiny part of the whole spectra of skills that one needs to be a good player, but still a crucial one. Doing that one thing repetivley, analyzing the results, tweaking and tuning and then just grinding and grinding – that’s how that perfect smash evenetually will be second nature.

And it’s this very approach we need to have when we try to develop our social skills – our Charisma. When I went into conversations this week trying to practice three big bodylangue teqhniques all at the same time, I just got owerwelmed. Instead I should have picked one at the time to focus on and play around with. I shouldn’t have got ‘growth greedy’ (Yeah I just made that up, but damn I’ve been looking for that word for a long time!).

But remember, this is an important lesson that strethes outside social skill development, it’s applicable to all types of personal development. So the learning still have been vaulble this week, and perhaps worth more than the original wanted outcome, altough a toataly different one.

If you want to hear me ramble on a bit more about this, check out my weekly evaluation live stream I did earlier today here:

Now, I wish you a super duper great awesome nice Friday evening.

Ciao!

/Alexander

Honestly, writing this blog post is the last thing I feel like doing right now. Just got home after a looong day at work. Loooong. Woke up at around 04.00, my brain started working. As I’ve talked about, a lot of high-level thoughts circling around this week. A necessary state for growth, but energy draining as heck.

“I know how this works, either I lay here thinking for another hour or I just go for a nice run to work and get this day started” – so I did.

My morning workout habit, as well as this newer blog post writing, have through experience taught me that it’s worth the hustle it sometimes is. My brain knows I will feel good and be rewarded. This habit loop I’ve been running for my blog post for the last 25 days is really starting to sink in. That is – coming home from work (the que), writing a blog post (the routine), and then getting to eat food (the reward). As these actions becomesdeeper rooted, the more distant they get from involving any kind of decision. It just happens. Making it almost irrelevant to what levels of willpower I hold. Like now, close to zero.

One of my work colleagues stopped by my desk this afternoon to ask how my daily workout had been. “Great – how was yours?” This guy has since the new year started been doing a 20-minute run on the treadmill every morning. I can’t help but to be excited and proud for him trying to implement this habit – and he’s sticking to it. Because I know how much it can do for you. And I also know the willpower it requires! So I praised him for it. He however down talked and massively devalued his efforts.

“it’s only 10 km/h – it’s like walking”

“Yeah, but your fu** doing it every day. You’ll find yourself raising the challenge, I promise you. And I started my running routine by increasingly walking longer and longer to work, in the beginning it was like  500 meters to the next buss stopp”.

Another guy at work just came out of a long relationship and have been feeling like shit for a while. I made him promise me to just show up at the gym once a week for a minimum of 15 minutes. That’s all he have to do. But he must do that, and he needs report to me. This week he went to the gym three times, and I can literally see the proudness evaporate from him, like the heat on a asphalt road a sunny day.

I know I keep nagging on about this, but it’s worth repeating. The incredible power of getting started, big or small, is just..   It’s fucking great! I’m not much for cursing, but today I guess I’m making an exception. We shouldn’t be afraid of setting low goals – the key is high volume and repetition. We’ll find ourselves go beyond – if it was the right how that is. Reaching a goal can be done in many ways, we have to look at what best suits us. Everybody isn’t made for running, and I’m not only talking about training. But it makes for a good example.

Taking it to a personal self-praising level – with the risk of being called a self-loving narcist – if it’s one thing I’m proud of it’s the habits and routines I’ve implemented in my life. They carry me when I don’t have the energy to carry myself. I know that if I get some workout in there, if I empty out my thoughts in my journal, if I do my gratefulness- & meditation practices, all those things I’ve intentionally implemented in my life, It will be worth it. But knowing can be worth shit sometimes, that’s why it’s convenient to have an autopilot stepping in when your drunk driving. My parachutes, insurance, call it what ever, but it works. But also remember that one fail, or even two, isn’t the end of the world. Tomorrow is a new day, and you decide what to make of it.

The last point I want to make is a reminder I want to put out there – celebrate your wins, big ones & small ones. Look at the day you’ve lived and experienced, what can you be proud of? Did you help someone, did you help yourself? I’m sure – most positive – that you can find something worth tapping yourself on the shoulder for. Do that, and feel proud.

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for contributing to make this world a better place (because I chose to naively assume you are!) ?

/Alexander

“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.”

Should I get rid of my brother?

Major decisions – how the heck do we tackle them the best way? Right now, my mind is coping with so much overwhelming high-level stuff that totally blasts my brains out after a half a day of (over)thinking. Somehow it all seems to happen at once. It might also have something to do with finding myself in a situation that some could define  as an “existential crisis”. The term crisis is strong though and not something I’m relating to, but the signs they describe in this video belov is spot on. Which to some sense makes it easier for me to accept my current situation. I’m talking in riddles and I know this is off topic to the title. But I still feel how they overlap eacch other, and why my subpurpose of this blogpost is to recomend you to watch this short video too. I think it may help you realise that high level existential thoughts are something you’ll probebly deal with sooner or later. Or it’s jut me that in fact are having an… 🙂

The irony of being in energy-draining-overwhelming state that big questions, that only can be resolved with big decisions, have a tendency to keep you awake at night. It’s my third cosy night with only, me, myself and my thoughts hanging out. I invited sleep but he (she?) couldn’t make it, unfortunately. We’re having superfund twisting and turning on different scenarios.

However, going forth and back in your head, at least for me, usually doesn’t help that much. Unless I’ve gone through the process of sitting down and putting it to words in a rather structured way. Usually I write down all the positive and negative aspects I can think of, and then let my mind digest it (night time) so I eventually can reach a gut-based decision. Which always have final say.

But obviously I’m still lost – so don’t take my advice! Instead I thought I share one of my favourite ‘virtual mentors’ Brendon Burchard’s take on it. It’s a video I’ve seen a bunch of times, but never really applied that seriously. Now I have some good cases to test it out on. Anyways, here’s the video, and below is the summary he put together for it.

——————– SUMMARY: ——————–

“When uncertain or afraid, how do we free ourselves from delay, make good decisions, and take decisive action?

1. Make decisions sooner: It’s easier to make decisions earlier than later. For example, if you hate your job, make a decision to leave sooner. Yes, be judicious and and collect information…but don’t get into analysis paralysis or become scared of change. Set a date and prepare. Making bold decisions for yourself is the secret to moving your life forward. Ask,”What’s decision have I been putting off in my personal life? What decision have I been waiting to make at work? What decision do I need to make in my relationships?” Avoidance may be the best short-term strategy to avoid pain and conflict, but it is also the best long-term strategy to ensure suffering. Stop putting it off, make that decision and stick to it.
2. Set criteria: Criteria means you look at your decision making from three perspectives: What’s good for you? What supports other people around you? What should the universal rule be for everyone faced with this decision? This means you seriously contemplate if decisions are right for you, honoring of others, and generally good for most people. What other criteria could you set? Create a “cheat sheet to good decision-making” with your own criteria and keep it by your computer and in your wallet. Consult it at every important decision.
3. Do intelligent research: Bad decisions are often a result of acting without any information, listening to the wrong people or forcing a false choice. Intelligent research means collecting as much information as possible from informed people. There’s nothing you want to achieve or overcome in your life that someone hasn’t already achieved or overcome. Before you make your decision, go out and consult other informed, happy, smart, joyous, accomplished people who have done what you want to do. Often, you’ll find it’s not just a matter of choosing A or B, but rather there are a multitude of choices available to you.

This second video  below is not as in to details hand has a more straight forward approach that I better can realte to; letting values and beleives guide. Are you being true to your purpose and ‘why’? If you don’t know what these things are to you, then perhaps those are the real answers you should be looking for… 

Update: I

Have a lovley evening guys & thanks for stopping by:)

/Alexander

So let’s continue where I left of yesterday – I talked about being on an decision elimination diet. Which means I’ve for the last couple of weeks have been scanning my life for decisions, and eliminating or redesign those that doesn’t give me a proportional amount of value in relation to how much willpower they cost me. And when I say redesign, it could mean chunking a bunch of decisions together. Like the example I took yesterday of cooking my lunch for work every Sunday’s and therefore being ‘free’ from the “what am I going to eat today”-decisions I otherwise have to make daily. But – again – that’s why my ‘elimination diet’ might not fit you – it comes down to what you value in life! You need to examine your life with your eyes. Perhaps your daily lunch is the highlight of your day and hence is something you should to spend some daily brain activity on!

The most powerful impact I believe comes with removing temptations – if a urge isn’t even available; we can’t waste willpower on making that bad choice. Here’s some examples on how has played out for me:

• Getting rid of all the food I know I shouldn’t be eating from my kitchen. I’ve been working on emptying out all the shit from my kitchen during the last couple of week’s, and I’ve written a “Never-buy-this-food-list”. Which makes it simple for me, all the trigger foods I’ve put on that list simply isn’t allowed to be bought. It’s black and white. No long-haul internal decisions battling in my mind.
• Unsubscring to 90% of all the emails I had coming in. Every mail represents a decision – to open or not to open it. And if we open it, we analyse the content and make a decision for how to react to that. “should I buy this; should I reply; what should I reply; should I read this article; why am I reading this article”. Even if I didn’t read most of my emails, I still couldn’t help but to check the inbox constantly, just in case there was something juicy in there. I now find myself having a way less (still big though) urge to check my mail regularly.
• Eliminating social media during daytime. Oh, do I even have to start with how many decisions we are taking when we are scrolling down the flow? Because remember that not making a decision is also a decision.
• Deleting unnecessary apps (I don’t need to check my facebook on the phone)
• Removing ‘clutter in my environment. Less is more. Getting rid of shit I don’t need frees your mind.
• Tightening my eating routines. Having eating windows and not allowing snacking has made me free. And yes, I know much of my examples here have to do with food, but that’s because my entire life circles around that – and steals so much of my willpower. A relationship I’m determined to fix.

No, cutting your brother out of your life isn’t an option, even if his actions result in some draining of willpower…

I’ve also thought a whole lot about when I make certain decisions. Shitty decisions come later in the day after I’ve done the most important things (making sure what’s important always have sufficient energy levels/willpower available). In the evening I decide upon what clothes to wear and pack everything I need to bring to work so I won’t waste morning willpower on that. Same logic applies to the usage of social media – only evening time. I also plan out my coming day briefly in OneNote, listing the most important activates that needs to happen and people I need to reach out to.

Ironically enough, today I’ve made so many decisions on a construction task I’ve been working on the entire day. And I can just feel how my willpower is at rock bottom right now. Literally dead. Its surprises me greatly that I’m still sitting here writing. Only a deep motivation and passion for what I do can overcome my current brain fatigue. Because nor have I had time to do any of the “standby mode” activates (relaxing, meditation, etc) to get myself out of this “ego depletion mode” and restore some willpower. However, this also proves that this willpower approach can be overrun by the right mindset. But I also know that this blog post could have been way easier an enjoyable if I’d been better ‘charged’.

Check out my previous blog post if you want more on what these terms means. But my point is that now when I have these willpower glasses, we see the connections so clearly, which makes it easier to design our days in ways that makes us use our buffer more wisely and recharge more strategically. I mean most of this is kind of intuitive and it doesn’t come as a surprise that a nap makes us feel revitalized. BUT, for me the big realizations have been how much all these tiny decisions we take affect our willpower levels. The beauty of this decision elimination diet is that the effect comes so instantly, it’s not beach 2018 pay off. It’s a daily pay off. Plus, it’s kind of fun to see how one can cut out junk and feel massive improvement with so small tweaks. Okay cutting down on social media doesn’t come that easy for everyone… But still!

If you want one good video on willpower I recommend this one:

And if you want a full video mini course on Habit implementation and willpower check out this playlist:

/Alexander

This Friday I wrote

Healthy Diet?

a blog post about waking up to ‘reality’ and finding myself standing in the middle of a storm. One could also choose to see those chaotic moments as a bunch of decisions that needs to be taken to ‘continue on with life’. As if it was somehow conveniently paused whenever the shit hits the fan. Those high-level decisions like career choices, where to live, what food to eat a Friday evening – you know the kind! And we intuitively feel how it drains us when trying to reach a tough decision. What may not be as obvious to everybody is the amount of energy – willpower – that all the small easy decisions we take throughout our days take may be equally impactful when we sum them up.

20.000. Yepp, that’s the amount of times you’ve farted publicly. Or was it the amount of decisions? Anyways, I’m not going to fact-check that figure! But I’m quite sure I heard it in a Ted-talk last week and it sounds plausible. And if we accept the idea that it sucks willpower for every decision we make, it would also make sense to eliminate as many ‘wasteful’ decisions as possible.

So that’s why I’m currently on my third week of an elimination diet for cutting out unnecessary decisions from my life. How does that work in practice? Well, firstly I started observing my life and all the decisions I was taking on a regular basis. And I’m still doing that, constantly finding new sources of decision clusters I know see as energy thief’s!

Some decisions you can’t escape – like how to resdesign a fitting at work

I then try to evaluate how much value the outcome of the decision gives me. Like what I’m having in my lunchbox for work is not that important as long as it is nutritious. Hence, I just make something healthy on the Sunday that I can eat throughout the week. One decision being made on Sunday. Saves ton of willpower instead of every day thinking about what to have for lunch the next day, and the putting that in to action. However, It would be naive to think that I can eliminate them all – what’s then left to live for? No, I’m just looking for things that use up my willpower without giving me a proportional amount of value in return.

You see there’s always an alternative cost. If I choose to waste willpower on shitty things in the morning, that means that the likelihood for me doing things that truly adds something later in the day, decreases. And when I put it like that, it’s much easier for me to stay disciplined. But discipline and motivation will eventually always fail, it’s all about designing your life in a way where temptations aren’t as easily accessible. Now I’m going to stop here, because I’ve got some work to do and I’m as a hungry as Ukraine Pitbull that just got a sniff of Putin. Put I’ll share the rest of my thoughts, some tips and the results of my diet so far tomorrow.

I wish YOU a lovely evening, PEACE OUT

Link to the plog bost I wrote on willpower last week:

The Power Of Willpower

/Alexander

Growing up I always thought Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock was kind of a lame actor I couldn’t care less about. Perhaps a fascination for how huge this dude was, but that’s it. But, since I a while back adopted a charisma perspective when analyzing and shaping opinions about people, I can’t help but to admit that this guy ranks as a bromance quality. So last night when I accidently saw the Charisma break down video of The rock for the tenth time, I had to throw my original weekly challenge a side in exchange for a Charisma focused week. Centered around a rock.

let him who is without sin cast the first stone

Jesus – ( What does that have to do with anything? Nothing, I just like putting in nice quotes to make the text breath a bit. Plus it did have a rock in it.)

Listening to a very charismatic person makes me feel two things – fascination for being so drawn into what the person is saying, but also a longing to be able to do that too. But to be charismatic and a good storyteller we need to practice. A lot. And we need to dare to act, give it that extra energy and live the words we are saying. But don’t listen to me, I’m no expert, quite the opposite. As I said – I want to become that. But I’m eager, hungry and dying to be more charismatic, hence I try to constantly work on developing these skills. And this video shows us HOW to do all that.

Although I’ve gotten better at it, most of the time I don’t believe in myself as a storyteller, and I don’t believe in the value of the content that I’d like to share with people. As soon as I start telling something I’ve subconsciously already given up on myself, making me rush through what I have to say. But once and a while I dare to live it, I dare to be animated and use my body and facial expression. I dare to play around with my voice, and I dare to go into character. I dare. I’m going to dare this week. And I dare you likewise.

So, the challenge of the week is to practice being a bit more charismatic (like 4-5 rocks ~1,5 kg). Easier said than done. Yes, that’s usually how I work. Deception. Muhaha. Evil Face. Anyways, how are we doing this? Start with checking out my video, where I’ve borrowed the essential parts (for this week) from Charisma On Command’s Dwayne Johnson breakdown video. However, I strongly express a wish for your dopamine thriving brain to indulge in the marvellous piece of charisma candy you’ll get from the full video (link). The Charismatic traits we’ll be practicing are:

“THERE ARE THREE TOOLS THE ROCK USES AMAZINGLY WELL:
HIS SPEAKING VOLUME
HIS BODY AND THE SPACE IT TAKES UP
AND HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ”

So the objectives are:

• Practice applying these techniques in the conversations you’ll be having this week. If you have any recurrent social meetings, make these your focused sessions where you really give it an extra effort. For me it’s going to be the coffer beaks we have at work two times a day. Think habit; Que (when), Routine (what), Reward (treat yourself with some proudness. Or a fruit).
• Also, try to – once a day – have a conversation with at least one random person you’ll never talked to before. It can be easier to break your regular low-key self with people that doesn’t know you. Personally – subconsciously it makes me think that people think I’m fake when I’m trying to be more charismatic, just because I’m not behaving like I usually do. All in my head. And if not – don’t care (conscious me speaking. Yeah!).

 Bonus: A secondary focus for me this week will be to understand the decision-making process better, and try so slim down the number of decisions I have to make every day to a bare minimum. By that, not wasting willpower on stuff that isn’t of real importance. But instead saving if tor the touch conversations, actions or whatever things that actually impacts my life in a meaningful way. Not weather I should read another advertising email more or not. I’ll properly wright a blog post or two about this in the week! Started doing this last week, and have had some GREAT results.

Well that’s it for me! Good luck with the challenges, and enjoy your week?

/Alexander