A whole bunch of us used to love being creative as kids, weather it concerned drawing, playing with Lego, building some undefined thing or just playing an instrument. Unfortunately, many of us gets distanced from our creative side as we turn into grownups. And with that losing connection to the inner child. A common reality I myself lived in for many years until I by accident fell in love with video editing 1,5 years ago. And my experience of life just had a whole new dimension added to it. Or reinstalled I should say. Young creative fat Alex is back, and I love him!

I think the reason we stop doing these things have to do with us growing up and finding ourselves in a world where time is the most precious commodity. And we often measure that in the currency of what we get out of it on an objective scale. If we work we get money. If we accomplish something on our never ending to-do-list, we get a shorter never ending to-do-list. Then there’s spending time with friends and family, which maybe is a more subjective experience (and a highly necessary one), but could perhaps be combined with a creative activity to greater extent. And then it’s more work again.

I don’t blame you for prioritizing like this, that’s how I lived my entire grown up life as well. Taking time to be creative just doesn’t make sense from a logical perspective. But that’s why we need to look at it from a different perspective. We should see it as a piece of the ever so important wellbeing puzzle. An activity – like training – that makes us experience joy and happiness. Entering that marvellous flow state (and perhaps sometimes generating a bit of sweet and tears too). And yeah, stress and anxiety also have a hard time sticking around when enter these emotional states.

One of my videos I had really fun with editing, just letting my creative self lose.

If you ask me, judging by my own newly re born experience to ‘practicing’ creativity daily, it’s one of the easiest way to tap into these emotions. Not saying it can’t be frustrating and evoke opposite feelings at times, but I’m talking about the overall experience when you find something that’s ‘right’ for you. All this without needing to go on a one week trip to a distant island in the Pacific’s. And it could happen daily; after work, in your living room, at the kitchen table, at your computer, even in your phone.

As a successful creative you need to be able to let go of external opinions and pressure and expose your ‘true voice’. But this is easier said than done in the perfect Instagram world we live in today (Ironically enough, Instagram is one of the few places people are being creative today). We fear other people’s judgements so much. So much. It doesn’t help that many of us have emotional scars from our childhood attached to a creative area. A friend or family member that made negative remarks (to put it tenderly) about your creation, or even worse a teacher that cut a deep wound within.

But once and a while you’re able to connect with that playful self – I’m hoping. Disconnecting yourselves from the grownup judgmental self-criticising mind, and unleash a burst of childish creativity to the world. You feel alive. Unfiltered joy. A sense proudness for adding something unique to this world. Now you don’t go and say this out loud. Of course not. You only turned down the self-criticising mind enough to actually create something. The mind is still shouting. You barley even think these thoughts. However, subconsciously, that is how you feel. And if you do share it with someone, it comes with long excusing remarks about how it’s really nothing serious and it’s just made on a fly. Even though you put your heart and soul into it. But that’s alright, this is the least of our problems – at least you did it! And you feel proud, and you should be. You can work on being more vulnerable later.

From A YouTube Creator’s day a couple of months back here in Stockholm.

So, what can you do to get Intouch with your creative self again? Well, depends. If you had something you used to love doing back in the days, like drawing or playing a instrument – go for that. Or try something completely new out like me and start a YouTube channel. It for sure entails a shitload of creativity being needed.

I can’t see why it shouldn’t be a part of your life on a daily basis. So I say design a daily creativity habit, but set a very low minimum bar. Perhaps five minutes of drawing each day while eating. Below I link a video for how you can design a good habit that will last. If you think a daily habit is too much of a commitment, set aside some time each week. Put it in the calendar and make sure to do it! This may seem as a ‘boring’ way to approach something that should be playful and funny. Put if you haven’t set a side time for it so far – due to all the important things you need to do – why would it be any difference next week?

And if you want some more indebt advices in how to become a good artist /creative, check out this great YouTube video I watched yesterday and really got me inspired.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Artists – https://youtu.be/vM39qhXle4g

Some other good Videos on creativity:

How to build your creative confidence | David Kelley –  https://youtu.be/16p9YRF0l-g

How To Be Creative | Off Book | PBS Digital Studios – https://youtu.be/weIQIthC3Ks

One of my favourite authors; Brene Brown – shame and vulnerability is her thing. You can’t have a conversation about creativity without overlapping the vulnerability topic. If you want a fresh read, she just released a great book called Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Here’s a good interview a lecture with her:

Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count – https://youtu.be/8-JXOnFOXQk

An interview: Daring Greatly to Unlock Your Creativity with Brené Brown | Chase Jarvis LIVE | ChaseJarvis – https://youtu.be/kAk4cwjvJ0A

Thanks for stopping by!

/Alexander

The world just had to put me to the test today. I guess I had it coming when I posted yesterday’s blog post, perhaps making me come of like not being annoyed or frustrated about anything, and condemning people who are. None of those two things are neither true or what I intended to do. As I said then, once and a while I too complain over those things that in ‘my book’ shouldn’t be wasted precious energy on.

I just try to be conscious enough to not spill it out in the public forum, dragging other innocent people with me. We have mirror neurons, and when we are around negative people we subconsciously try to match their emotional state. This behaviour is also truethe other way around. And I rather impact my surrounding in that direction. But unless you’re Buddha himself, most of us will feel some degree of bad emotions when shitty things happen. Me too can experience an emotional carousel when things don’t go my way.

Today was one of those day; long tough day at work. Slept like shit. Had some wired feeling within I couldn’t quite pinpoint. So finally, I threw myself on the bike, eager to get home as quick as possible and reward myself with a nice hot meal at the finish line. Minus 3-4 degrees. Slippery as heck on the roads. And my bike didn’t quite want it my way. But finally, with frozen fingers and toes, too many stops due to a chain that didn’t what to stay on, a bike ride that this morning took 53 minutes finally was over after ~ 1½ hours.

Click the image to get to the source, I don’t own any rights!

Did I go mad? Did people think a furious Hitler just passed them on the bike? No. I did manage to control myself. Sure, when my chain flew off for the third time and I had no sense of life in my fingers left, a burst of irritation filled me up. And I felt that, I really did. But I accepted it and I stayed in the emotions. But then I decided to move on and laughed over the irony of me using the example of keeping it cool when getting a flat tire in yesterday’s blog post. Turned to Spotify and Eric Prydz, and instead thought about this giving me some material for the blog. The old me would have been so immersed in those evil emotions, probably letting it affect the rest of the evening.

Butwhy do I keep nagging on about this topic? It’s simple. I’m practicing my sales skills. With some intentional focused personal development work, we truly have the potential to change our lives to the better. There’s so much life potential buried within each one of us. At least that’s what I’ve come to experience, and I’m just too overly enthusiastic to not try and make you discover that as well. I feel obligated to let the rest of the world know! Despite if you think I’m a nutcase or not.

So how do you increase your ability to be less emotionally reactive? Yesterday I mentioned the basic outline I follow, based on the book the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem; 1. Being Conscious. 2.Self-Acceptance. 3. Self-responsibility. But It really starts with living more consciously. You need to pass through that door first. Which is not done so easily. It can however be done with some effort and an approach that fits you.

If you read the book I refer too, it will present you with some sentence completion exercises to do daily for a while. Basically, making you spell out how you would act if you lived your life with a higher level of consciousness. The purpose being to activate your conscious mind. It takes about five to ten minutes in the morning and in the evening. I’ve done it in periods, and it has worked well. But truthfully, it’s quite boring and I really had to force myself to do it. All personal development won’t be fun, I’ll tell you that!

Another way to increase your level of consciousness is through practicing meditation, which also can be… Boring! You’ll perhaps grow to love it as I’ve done (I really hated it and still do at times). So, are there any fun ways? Well, my absolute favourite way of working on increasing my level of consciousness is through journaling. Which I do a whole lot.

Now, I’ve already written too much (and still haven’t had my hot-meal-bike-reward) so instead I’m going to direct you to a video I’ve done where I describe my journaling process for this purpose. Also bellow I give you sources to some different alternatives for how to become more conscious and aware.

The video: The most important skill to Face Your Fears – How to become more Conscious

Two good videos by Brendon Burchard on this topic:

How To Reprogram Your Mind (for Positive Thinking): https://youtu.be/wmx_35rQIRg

If you feel that You are a positive person, but are being draged down by your surounding and don’t know how to handle it:

How to Deal With Negative People: https://youtu.be/Q5DoDfAjIl0

WAYS OF INCREASING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS

————————————————————————————–

# being mindfull

A very nice guide to raising your level of consciousness and being mindful throughout the day without the journaling focus:

Mindfulness – How To Actually Practice Mindfulness & Conquer Your Emotions – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01Pfs3VuizM

Or a even more extensive and longer one including a meditation like practice, but with the focus of awareness. If you have the time and energy to get through it, it’s well worth your time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01Pfs3VuizM

#Meditation

Finding 10 minutes a day to practice meditation. Just sitting down, closing your eyes and trying to be aware. This link will get you straight to a very nice Meditation For Beginners guide by Leo Gura ( really recommend it) https://youtu.be/fXmG1x1ih1U?t=5m14s

If you have a super short attention span, here’s a shorter guide: “How To Meditate For Beginners – A Definitive Guide – video:” https://youtu.be/mMMerxh_12U

 # Sentence completion exercise as described from the book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nahaniel Branden:

“When working with sentence completion on your own, you can use a notebook, typewriter, or computer. (An acceptable alternative is to do the sentence completions into a tape recorder, in which case you keep repeating the stem into a recorder, each time completing it with a difference ending, and pliy the work back later to reflect on it.)

First thing in the morning, before proceeding to the day’s business, sit and write the following stem:

If I bring more awareness to my life today-

Then, as rapidly as possible, without pausing for reflection, write as many endings for that sentence as you can in two or three minutes (never fewer than six and ten is enough).

Do not worry if your endings are literally true, or make sense, or are “profound.” Write anything, but write something. “ (1995, Branden, p. 309-310)

Here’s more sentences:

“Living consciously to me means –

Then, as rapidly as possible, without pausing for reflection, write as many endings for that sentence as you can in two or three minutes (never fewer than six, but ten is enough). Do not worry if your endings are literally true, make sense, or are “profound.” Write anything, but write something.

Then, go on to the next stem: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today-

(Why only 5 percent? Let us proceed in small, nonintimidating, “bitesizechews.” Besides, most of the time 5 percent is plenty!)

Then: If I pay more attention to how· I deal with people today-

Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-

Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to (fill in a particular problem you are concerned about-for example, your relationship with someone, or a barrier you’ve hit at work, or your feelings of anxiety or depression) –

When you are finished, proceed with your day’s business. At the end of the day, as your last task before dinner, do six to ten endings each for the following stems:

When I reflect on how I would feel if I lived more consciously-

When I reflect what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities-

When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-

When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to (whatever you’ve filled in)-

Do this exercise every day, Monday through Friday for the first week. Do not read what you wrote the day before. Naturally there will be many repetitions. But also, new endings will inevitably occur. You are energizing all of your psyche to work for you.

Sometime each weekend, reread what you have written for the week, and then write a minimum of six endings for this stem:

If any of what I wrote this week is true, it would be helpful if 1-

In doing this work, the ideal is to empty your mind of any expectations concerning what will happen or what is “supposed” to happen. Do not impose any demands on the situation. Try to empty your mind of expectations.

Do the exercise, go about your day’s activities, and merely notice any differences in how you feel or how you operate. You will discover that you have set in motion forces that make it virtually impossible for you to avoid operating more consciously.”

( The Six Pillars of self-esteem, p.85, Nathaniel Branden)

MONDAY, FUN DAY! Ah, I just love life right now. I probably shouldn’t be going around saying stuff like that, or at least I used to think like that before I stopped caring so much what people thought of me. I wonder how many people that have ‘strong emotions’ towards me for being that guy. You know that guy? If you ever saw the Friends episode with Phoebes new boyfriend that everybody had ‘strong emotions’ towards because he was just so over the top excited about everything – that’s the guy. Sometimes I can’t help but to do a split-second comparison when I’ve said something that might just had been a tad too enthusiastic.

But it’s just not true – I do have problems, which I’ve quite openly talked about in this blog. And that Phoebes boyfriend was annoying like crazy. I have the opinion that it’s alright – and sometimes necessary – to vent negative thoughts and emotions. But I don’t believe in sharing them openly over and over again. Especially not without doing something about it, or when there’s even something that can be done about it. Like the weather or traffic jams.

But I do believe that friends and certain people should listen, empathise and support when everything just feels like shit. And perhaps come with a new clear perspective. Now I’m a bit of hypocrite for saying this, because I fall into this trap myself ones and a while. But I really, really try not to.

Click the image if you want a short video summary of the book

Because I do believe in being aware and take in what you’re felling. Accepting those thoughts and emotions that are present. Not trying to supress them, but instead embrace them. It’s not until then we are able to objectively do something about whatever is making us miserable. It’s called taking responsibility, and it’s a mindset that can make all the difference.

“I am responsible for my choices and actions. To be ‘responsible’ in this context means responsible not as the recipient of moral blame or guilt, but responsible as the chief causal agent in my life and behaviour.”

 – Nathaniel Branden, The Six pillars of Self-Esteem

If something happens to me, I go through this process of 1. Being Conscious. 2.Self-Acceptance. 3. Self-responsibility. I get better and better at handling whatever is thrown at me, and the ‘reactive Alex’ has a far less impact on my life today. But it hasn’t come without a whole lot of practice and work. Now, I may not be able to control or impact some external things that happens to me, like a rainy day or a flat tire, but I am the one in charge of how I decide to respond to those things. The actions I take and what mental state I chose to be in. That’s why I can take my flat tires with a smile on my face 5 o clock in the morning in the middle of the dark.

“Okay, this gives me some extra time to listen to this audiobook. And I’m going to be here whether I like it or not, so I just might as well enjoy it as best I can”

I’m not saying this approach is ‘the one way to live life’ and an absolute truth. But it’s my current belief of what a god way of living looks like. And it’s an approach I’ve adopted after reading Nathaniel Branden’s Book The Six pillars of self-esteem a bunch(!) of times. I’ve recently decided to never ‘get stuck’ on one thing as the holy truth. I aim to always be open to and explore other views and perspectives – and that goes for all kinds of areas. History tells us that we tend to get things wrong.

But so you see, the reason for me loving life a bit extra much in this very moment is because I just got home. And that means I just had a run, since I either run or bike to work. And when I run, especially when I push myself a bit extra as I tend to do when the fridge is within reach (is there a stronger motivator than food?), the endorphin release in my body is just.. It’s just freaking amazing! Getting high every day. Two times a day. Love it. That’s also why people tend to get the overly excited answer, as they usually ask how I’m doing when come in at work in the morning – just after workout. And I just can’t contain myself in those moments; ‘It’s absolutely fantastic! ‘ .

Have a great day guys,

/Alexander

P.S if you missed this week’s Challenges, which is all about implementing some habits that will benefit your social skill development – here it is:

What up guys? This blog post is going to be a little bit different. You see every Sunday for the last ~ 1,5 years I’ve been posting a weekly Challenge on my YouTube Channel. The idea is simple; put up at least one objective that are supposed to be done before Friday evening. It can be a daily thing, or something bigger. It can be theoretical like reading, or it can be practical like performing some action or deed. It can include external people, or something that is to be done on your own. The purpose and goal is to make you grow in a specific niched area.

Weekly challenges are something I randomly started doing like ten years ago. Back then I remember always buying something tasty as a reward. I put it clearly visible in the fridge, so it would look back at me every time I opened it. But I was only allowed to eat it at the coming Friday, IF I successfully accomplished the challenge. Years went by and It became quite the regular thing in my life. I had fun with it, but the commitment and effort level varied quite a lot.

But so, some week’s after spontaneously starting a YouTube channel in March of 2016 (for no clear reason), I got the idea of making weekly personal development challenges the theme of the channel. Putting out my challenges and efforts to accomplish them to the world, and then share the learnings and reflections it resulted in. The later part happens through a live weekly live stream every (almost) Friday.

I’m always trying to have as much fun with it as I possibly can. Not choosing to do what’s the most strategical right thing to make the channel grow, but doing what will grow me the most as a person.  Because the thing is, I’m really not that concerned with having a lot of views or subscribers. I use YouTube as a platform to structure my own personal growth, and putting it out there to the world adds some external pressure to follow through on my challenges. And when other people join in; when there’s discussion, questions and people getting inspired, it gives me so much energy to keep on. Also, the love I’ve found for filmmaking and editing can’t be described with words. Finally, an outlet for my creativity.

A friend of mine once asked me if I never get tired of ‘growing’? I was a bit stifled by thequestion, almost shocked. To me personal growth is one of the most amazing things ever and one of the true cornerstones to live a fulfilled and joyful life. And being able to make other people discover that as well, well..

Life is like biking, if you don’t constantly move forward, then you’re going to tip over.

Nuff said about that – just wanted to give you guys some context for what I do and Why I do it. Now let’s invite you into how this week’s challenge looks like:

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE: 3 Habits to Increase Your Social Skills

So, there’s been a whole lot of habit talk in the last blog posts. And it’s not by random. Habits and routines are probably the most sustainable way to automate personal development, cut out addictions and reach goals. Even since I read the book, the power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg ( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12609433-the-power-of-habit) almost 2 years ago, I personally can testify to this, along with a whole bunch of other people I’ve come across.

Since this year started I’ve implemented a whole load of new daily habits, or slightly tweaked some of my already existing. The purpose being to reach some new goals, but also to get rid of some life-limiting addictions of mine. So far, it’s working like a charm.

I’ve been discussing the details for how habits work in previous videos and texts, so I’m going to leave out the details here. But I am going to direct you to a great channel called ‘improvement pill’ that has an entire YouTube mini course on this topic. It consists of a bunch of short videos going through Habits and willpower; how it all works and what you need to know to start changing your life with habits. It’s all described in a very pedagogic way (https://youtu.be/b2njoDynrSY).

I’m instead going to share three habits that will benefit your social life and interaction with the external world. It will lead to you being able to strike up conversations with random people, and enjoy the heck out of doing so. But remember the basic principle with habits – the effect comes over time. But it will come, big time. It’s about putting in a daily effort – sometimes small, sometimes bigger. The most important thing is to do it. But even if you do miss a day or two, that isn’t the end of it. Just get back up on that horse again. And again. And again.

First let me just explain the basics for how a habit routine works so we know how to set this up. Or well, let’s borrow a snapshot from one of Improvement Pill’s videos:

The two videos from the course to give you be most important understanding are these two (the image is ‘borrowed’ from the first one, I don’t own any rights):

How Do Habits REALLY Work? (THE TRUTH) – https://youtu.be/b2njoDynrSY (This is the video that is partly included in my video)

·       How To Properly Build Your Habit (MOST IMPORTANT tamed Lesson)  – https://youtu.be/qDBV1GcCqvs

So, let’s get to the three small little habits I’ve implemented in my life lately, and really has improved my social life and helped me develop better social skills. The great thing with this is that you get better and better at it as you get going, and by that wanting to socialize more as you have an easier time connecting with people.

For all the habits, we put up a ‘minimum bar’ for what’s required to accomplish the habit. I set the bare minimum as ‘accomplished’ when I start implementing a habit, because in most cases I usually end up doing way more then I was on the mood for. It’s the power of getting started in practice, and the most important thing is to close the habit loop daily.

 The habits are (and described in greater detail in the video):

#1 – Habit: Talking to cashier staff

Cue: Facing the cashier

Routine: Every time you stand in front of cashier personnel/staff, ask how they are doing, and genuinely be interested in what they say. Practice small talk.

Reward: Social connection / sense of proudness for doing something uncomfortable (BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM)

Minimum bar: asking how they are doing

Examples from my challenges: How a single ‘how are you’ question can transform so something much bigger.

Trying to get at Date: Flirting with The Cashier – Facing Social Fears

https://youtu.be/DmBUFJw4Wvs

Approaching Cute Girl & Asking for an Instant Date – Rejection Therapy to build Self-Esteem Week 8 – https://youtu.be/2NHLCEwSw6E?t=8m11s

  #2 – Habit: Saying hi/hello to random people you pass

Cue: Choose a specific daily stroll you have, for me it’s when I walk/run home from work. The Que is when I step of the train.

Routine: Before passing them, try get eye contact and then say hello/hi. You can choose to do this to all the people that are carrying some clothes with a specific colour, or any other random feature. I DO this to the girls I think are cute.

Reward: sense of proudness for doing something uncomfortable (BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM). Bonus: sometimes a smile or a conversation = social connection )

Minimum bar: one hello

Examples from my challenges:

Level 1: Saying hello to every person I passed on my run home (when you run the uncomfortable moment passes quicker): https://youtu.be/wPsc5pWpyiw

Level 2: Walking and saying hi to every person I met https://youtu.be/jocgKryJk6U

Level 4: I did a week of striking up a conversation every time I was waiting with my bike at a crossing for the light to turn green: https://youtu.be/uZ3MmNhzR5U

Level 6: Approaching persons you find attractive and say that: https://youtu.be/q4_pbHAjQrA

#3 – Habit: Express your sense of humour in a social context

Cue: Sitting down for a specified social moment, lunch/coffee time etc.

Routine: During one of your daily social meals/coffee moments, say something you think is funny. Not only is this a great way to practice social skills, but it’s great habit for learning how to not care what people think of you and express who you really are. If you think something is funny, say that. This is a bit tougher habit and requires some practice.

Reward: Social connection / Sense of proudness for expressing who you really are

Minimum bar: express one thing that you think is funny

For all the habits, we put up a minimum bar for what’s required to accomplish the habit. I set the bare minimum as ‘accomplished’ when I start implementing a habit, because in most cases I usually end up doing way more then I was on the mood for. It’s the power of getting started in practice, and the most important thing is to close the habit loop daily.

The challenge of the week:

Implement one social-skill-development habit, chose one out of the three.  Or if you have one of your own in mind – choose that. Sit down and think about how you can implement it so it suits your life and context. What should be your que? If you listen to the videos, he says it’s preferable to have a ‘real’ reward, like getting to eat after training, getting to watch something funny, some free time, etc. For me the sense of proudness and growing self-esteem is so vivid and clear, that it works for me. But have this in mind, and remember to always have the same que, routine and reward to make the brain see the connection and start to automate the behaviour.

Personally, I’m going to look trough the video course and look over and refine not on ly these three habits, but all my habits I put up this year.

So that’s it, that’s all. I wish you the best of luck, and love to hear what social skill habit you choose!

Have a great week,

/Alexander

This morning at friskis – intense back workout

Saturday morning – isn’t that just the best thing ever? waking up and doing the things that make you relaxed, feel good and distance yourself from the reactive life we often tend to find ourselves in. Now, I strive to have the ‘Saturday like feeling’ every day, but that’s just not my current reality.

Although, I have some things I make sure to start my day of with no matter what day of the week it is. Habits that over the years have become a solid part of my life. Not as a ‘I’ll feel bad about myself if I don’t do them experience’, but as something that I want to do as it kicks my day of in the right spirit. And the beauty of a habit is that it becomes autonomous once it’s implemented and you no longer have to put in an effort to make it happen.

My habits vary to some degree depending on how my day will look like, but they usually contain the following:

• Exercising – I work out every day, and nine out of ten times I make sure it’s the first thing that happens when I wake up. I run/bike to work or go the gym. It gives me energy and releases all kinds of feel good hormones, and I know that even if the day goes to shit, at least I’ve got my workout in to be proud of. Bonus – I get to eat m
  ore!
• Gratefulness – spending a minute or two thinking of all the things I’m grateful for. Usually during my run/biking. My life, that I get to live with my brother, that I have a family I love and that loves me, that I have friends in my life I deeply connect with daily, that I’m healthy; that I have eyes to see with, ears to hear with, arms and legs to move around with, that I live in a place, time and situation that enables me to control my own life, etc. Sometimes I imagine myself not having these things, I close my eyes and imagine an dreadful reality; not being able to see, not having a family, etc. And I embrace that awful feeling before coming back to reality with a deep sense of appreciation for what I’ve got. Life’s daily small little problems often seems irrelevant after doing this.
• Meditation – Sitting down, focusing on my breathing not trying to think of anything (aka meditation) – Sometimes it’s only for a couple of minutes, sometimes longer. When I run to work, I have 20 minutes on the train I attribute to the “WimHof-breathing method”, which kind of is a meditation practice but a bit more intense (Watch me at the train doing it). When I go home, it’s more of a traditional meditation practice. It has been a real tough one for me to implement, but now is something I couldn’t bear to be without. The key is to find a que when and where you will make it happen. Daily. Que: sitting down on train. Routine: meditating. Reward: Feeling calm, relaxed and in control of my life. In the weekends, I don’t havethis clear que, and it often tends to be forgotten.
• Cold showers – also a part of ‘The WimHof-protocol’. After my morning workout. Just wakes me up like nothing else, claims of health benefits are out there – but that’s not why I’m doing it. It just makes me feel a live. Plus, I usually combine it with…
• Self-love – When I run/bike or at its most intensive moment, in the shower, I say out loud ‘I love myself, I love myself, I really really love myself’. Over and over again. When I started doing this it really felt wired (it’s because it is Alex, psycho). But as I’ve gotten used to it, it just releases a feeling of deep self-love, and I can’t emphasize the importance of this ( video where I go deeper into the topic). ALTOUGH, you don’t need to repeat this mantra to love yourself, you can just sit and think about the things you really like about yourself, the things you’ve done, and embrace those qualities deeply. Feel a sense of proudness for who you are.

So that’s it that’s all. Then I also do some journaling and daily planning, but that could be an entire chapter on its own. How does your morning routine look like, love to hear all about it. Especially if you got a good tip for me in how I could tweak mine for the better.

Saturday Morning Breakfast isn’t too bad either

Have a lovely day guys,

/Alexander 

YouTube Video of the day:

“A Good Day” With Brother David Steindl-Rast

From My live stream today

Hey guys, hope all is well! It’s Friday morning (not really anymore). And I’m sitting here at my desk listening to the beautiful sound of some lovely piano music accompanied by my little brother laughing to some You-Tube music. I’m sorting my thoughts through as I’m about do to my Live Weekly YouTube-stream – evaluating my little challenge of the week; finding my ‘Why’.

Currently my mind is a bit cluttered from yesterday’s sharing of my inner most ‘issues’. It’s kind of like the social hang-over (link) I get at times after a social event – revaluating everything I said, every action I took. But it still feels good and I don’t regret a word.

My last 3 months I’ve worked intensely with not caring what people think of me, mentally and through focused actions. This climaxed into the December Christmas calendar I did (https://youtu.be/QjWEsrXAXLo) – one video every day for 23 days, each one containing a little challenge where I had to expose myself to uncomfortableness. It was awful, yet amazing, and I can truly feel the deep impact it has had on me. In short it has made me able to apply what I’ve always known to be the truth, but just haven’t had the guts to live by.

That’s all I’m going to say today… Or well it’s really not because I’m going to ramble on in my live stream in a bit. The idea is to evaluate my challenge I put up every week, sharing insights and reflections. Once and a while some people join in as well, and we have some discussions around a specific topic or a question. It usually tends to be kind of a mess and last for about 15 minutes up to my longest stream of 5 hours. These days around 30-60 min mark. I Know the quality is lacking, I lose grip on structure, and my english sometimes miserably falls apart. It’s uncomfortable and I kind of always think that I shouldn’t do it because no one cares anyway and often I have no viewers. ‘What’s the point of a live stream Alex if no one is watching?’ But then I always remind myself that it’s exactly this feeling that is my que for doing it, being uncomfortable and feeling like not doing it are always going to be tied to those growth moments. And I sure as heck grow from doing this.

We can’t improve on ourselves unless there’s some emotional pained attached to it. That goes for creating deep relationships as well. It’s perhaps my biggest lesson from all my uncomfortable challenge videos I’ve done. Lessons are perhaps an understatement for what it has resutled in, because it has become a deeply rooted habit within me.

source: https://layiadeyemi.wordpress.com/2013/11/28/how-your-brain-works-in-breaking-habits/

You see a habit contains of three parts, the que, the routine and the reward (the habit loop). These days every time I feel that anxious feeling keep crawling, my mind makes the connection to all the amazing moments I’ve had during my challenges. Which goes like this; I’ve put out an action I’m supposed to do. Perhaps approach a girl I think is cute and tell her that. I experience deep anxiousness and nervousness coming up with all kinds of stories and arguments to not go through with it. Feelings I’ve now learned to call excitement instead, which makes it easier to coop with and it literally is the same physical reaction that happens in our body.

Anyways, most of the times I eventually go through with it. Sometimes the action I do results in a painful rejection and sometimes I have a great moment and connection with the person(s) I’m interacting with (great majority). But that usually isn’t the main thing, the true reward – and boy is that a great feeling – is the proudness for doing what I’ve sat out to do. I took action in the direction that aligned with my values, believes and goals. It made me grow as person and it strengthened my self-esteem. This feeling is a dopamine kick my brain has learnt to love so much it now knows that when the feeling of anxiousness comes when I’m about to face a challenge of mine, it means that a dopamine kick awaits on the other side. And boy is that a good one. Actually one of the few things better than food.

The beauty of this is that the exact same que is triggered in all my uncomfortable situations in life, whether I need to talk to a boss or have an uncomfortable conversation with a random person. Or as in this very moment when I’m about to do a live stream, put myself on the stand and be vulnerable. Exposing myself to other people’s opinions. Throwing a tomato at me are you? It’s alright, i love fresh fruit and vegtables. So let’s get to it.

– Is this the best habit ever to have implemened or what?

See you later, ciao

/Alexander

P.S If you want to see the live stream in reply you can find it here:

Topics discussed in this week’s live stream (and yeah, I’m extra ‘all-over the place’ right now, so it’s going to get messy):

• I met a girl
• Finding your why
• New Year’s goals and implementing habits
• Channels future.

Summer of 2014, just got back from studying a semster in Taiwan.

Ah, Thursdays. I Love Thursdays. You see it’s my Friday. I work four days a as a week as mechanical engineer, but I put in my 40hrs plus those days. It’s not something that came with the job description, it’s something that fits my lifestyle. So, I made it happen. And I made it happen by daring to question the norm and have a few uncomfortable conversations with my bosses.

Why should you care? Well you shouldn’t. None of the things I say here or in my YouTube videos, I say to gain pity or sympathies. I love my life and have a great one, but great ones contains shitty moments as well. And I’m dealing with my own shit, but it’s golden shit necessary for my growth. I say what I say because you just might relate to it or get a new perspective on things. If I can put a seed in the pot you relate to as your mind, then I’m doing what I aim to do. Shake’n bake. Create a reaction within & make you reflect over Your life. ‘Could it be better, have I settled?’

But why do I care? Well, because I know of so many people living crappy lives, feeling like shit.  Our western society is creating ideal images of perfect lives, lives everybody is living except for you (watch this). And we don’t dare to admit it, because that’s being vulnerable, and that’s scary as shit. I’ve been there, so I know. But I’ve also experienced the transformations to the better life. But it’s not a one day event, it’s a long stretched out journey called living. I’m not saying it won’t leave out all the shit. You’re still going to need those rubber boots. It’s just better shit, the kind you consciously chose and in some wired way smells kind of good. Like being on the countryside and that nostalgic smell of cow shit brings that huge smile on your face (not realating?!).

 “Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another…  

…To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action…

 …This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes…

…Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for…” 

– Mark Manson, the subtle art of not giving a f*ck

Anyways, let’s lay another piece on the my-relationship-to-food- puzzle I started laying a couple of days ago. In short, eating is the absolute best thing I know of but it’s also the single biggest threat to living my potential. It brings me joy, anxiety and it makes me go totally crazy and lose all sense of rationality.

I think about food approximately 95 % of my waken time. I never feel satisfied, I can always eat a little bit more. The only thing making me stop eating is practicing deep self-control or something urgent calls me. Every time I know I should stop eating, is an epic battle to overcome. You know when Frodo is about to throw his ring into the lava in Mount Doom? That’s how I feel every time I should stop eating and put that food back in the fridge. Literally. My precious. ‘Don’t leave me, just a little bit more.’ And the second I actually win, the countdown down to the next meal clearly pop up in my head. Tick-tack.

Overall it’s much better now than it has been in the past, but I’m still choosing to stay home and eat over hanging out with friends at times. I can go dreaming an entire week about having a Saturday evening to myself just eating for hours and hours while watching a good movie. Now the truth is that it’s not always this hard. I’ve found my ways and system for dealing with this. It’s spelled control. I write up everything I eat in an app, and I limit my ability to eat by pushing my meals later to the evening with the promise of eating a lot then. Because if I push it, eventually the natural ending of the saga comes when I have to get some sleep. But this is also the tricky part, often I push it for too long and when it’s time for bed I’ve eaten way too little. And when you workout for at least an hour every day, that’s not god either. One of the biggest reasons I don’t drink alcohol actually is due to the loss of self-control I experience. Hangover days are nothing but non-stop-eating-feasts(miseries). Which this Monday evening reminded me of.

I’ve just came out of a bad period where I tried to loosen up the control and stopped writing down what I ate. That didn’t work. During December I kind of never stopped eating from waking up to going to bed, but at least I gained back some of my weight I’ve lost. The thing is, if you once were a fat kid, you’ll always look at yourself as a fat kid in that mirror. I’m working on it, and it’s getting better. But that mirror still serves best at a Tivoli.

My fear of not having control actually made my Christmas holiday at my family place intentionally only last for three days. Knowing I was in a bad place, and coming home to a never ending deep fridge, that spelled trouble. That’s like telling a drug addict it’s snowing cocaine and he can have as much as he wants. But I cut down on the exposure and I had a great Christmas. The best in years actually. But it sure as heck didn’t come without a struggle.

With my new year’s goals, habits and a deep motivation to sort this out once and for all, 2018 is off to a great start, and I feel more confident than ever that I eventually will have a healthy relationship to food. In my own twisted way. My precious.

There’s a lot more to it that I could say, but I’m going to leave it for now. BUT, before you leave me I just want to say one thing. This does not mean I’m an unhappy person, it’s just one of my struggles. And it forces me to get to know myself and grow out of my problems. My last two years have been the absolute best of my entire life, and it’s just getting better by the day. As I’ve already hinted, I love my life deeply and I feel blessed for every each one of my days that I get to experience. And that’s by choice, because that shit doesn’t happen by itself. It’s called taking responsibility for oneself, and it requires daily action in the right direction.

You have a great evening now and see you tomorrow ,

#throwbackthursday YouTube Video of the day (Which is one of my favourites I did not so long ago):

Asking Random People about Loneliness – Rejection Therapy

Quote of the day:

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.”

Alan Cohen

/Alexander

Just got home. It’s 00.43. I’m supposed to wake up in 5 hours and bike my 23 km to work outside of Stockholm. Or wait… Nope, that’s not happening. It’s going to rain, and I’m not doing that, not tomorrow. It’s not that I don’t love biking in the rain, because I do. But not on less than 5 hours of sleep. That means I’m running instead. Some of the parts at least.

Why did I start off with such a negative tone? I can do better – Let’s start over.

I just got home. It’s not 00.43 anymore. And I don’t care that I’m supposed to wake up in 5 hours because I just had one of the most amazing evenings in ages. Context. Met Russian Girl Anna three days ago. She was awesome. Romantical me fell a little bit in love and I didn’t do anything to hold him back. Convinced her to teach me Yoga. She agreed. Time 19.00 at my gym. Had to pay 150 SEK to get her in. No wallet. ‘you can pay later’. Later: ‘You don’t have to pay’. Nice.

I’ve tried Yoga once before and that experience taught me that I suck as hard as when I have a delicious Alex-made-smoothie with a curly nice straw in front of me. This Time, totally different. The fact that I had the most beautiful girl guiding me both physically and mentally, surly had something to do with it. because it wasn’t comfortable in the way you’d define comfortable. But it was something. It was special. And after ~2 hours of Russian taught Yoga, I was mentally as relaxed as I’ve ever been and so deeply connected to Anna that I only have made up words to describe it.

Yaba-Yoga-doo

So what happened then? Well, Gym kicked us out. Walked back to her hotel, had Robioos Tee with her friend Vicky (as funny as me!). Talked some. Asked if I could kiss her. Got turned down. Got taught some Russian. Apparently I have a stunning Russian pronunciation (suck up?). Da. Said god bye. Four times. Tried to leave. Asked if I could kiss her again. Silence. We kissed. Felt like a little boy again. Hope on life restored. The end?

What about your so very ‘special’ food relationship you started going on about yesterday Alex? Not that I care, but If you start something, you better finish it.

Well, I’ll get to that tomorrow. But as an appetizer, I’ll fill you in on my daily caloric budget. Two hours of continues intense biking, 10 hours of working in front on ca computer, which according to my training watch added up to a total daily caloric expenditure of 3500 kcal. Food intake 1500 kcal. Trying to catch up here as we speak, but today that just won’t happen.

When I do have time to actually catch up. Iäm in the lead, and there’s no breaks. That’s why I’ve gained ~6 kgs since this summer. This Monday for instance, having the day of and all, I tracked how much time I spent eating that day ( part of my January habits). 5 hours plus. And it added up to 4 times

the amount of calories I’ve had today. Balance – yeah that’s what I’m trying to find.

What.. it’s 2.22 now.. Nuff said, See you tomorrow, and I wish you the most amazing day (and if it’s shitty, so be it. That’s life sometimes. But know that the great day will taste even better when it comes, because it will come if you let it come )

/Alexander

Quote of the day:

Dream Big. Start small. But most of all, start. – Simon Sinek.

Literally. Damn me. I hate that I’m too stubborn to quit on something I’ve promised myself to do. Why should I write for 30 days when I love making videos, and this is for sure going to capitalize on my video making efforts. I work 10 hours+ each day, have more than two hours of travel time, and now this? And did I mention I’m trying to implement like ten new habits this month. Also, This Week’s YouTube Challenge is to define ‘My Why’, life purpose – call it whatever! Let’s just say It’s not something you do in five minutes. Yeah, I’m having a hard time chewing all this. BUT, I also know that life happens when I’m all and about life. Through experience. It’s a balance, and I prefer it this way in contrast to the other way around.

Okay, so if this is going to work I need some boundaries. I’m going to give myself a time span of 40 minutes maximum each day. That’s it, that’s all. With that being said, in case my timer runs out before I get to what has been my top moment of the day – let’s spill it out:

My Russian crush I went on a spontaneous staged-but-kind-of-real date with yesterday has stayed in my head all day long. In a good way, like when the alcohol actually does do something good for you. I just have to see here again. Did I mention she’s a Yoga teacher? Well she is – and that shaped an idea in my head. I read a lot of things about healthy living. A lot. And Yoga kind of always pops up. Get some meditation in there, become more flexible, hang out and sweat together with good looking people – easy sell!

No, it’s really not. It’s just too boring to do on my own or with some random YouTube guide. At least the very thought of doing it doesn’t excite me enough! And when I’m at the gym.. Well, all the other things are so fun, and I did try it once in a group session. I felt like the odd man out not doing things even remotely similar to how the instructor did it. I have more fun lifting or doing other wired stuff on my own, and hence I never returned. So much for that stubbornness hu?

BUT SO, perhaps this could be my opportunity to get some first hand Russian pro-yoga-awesome-skills? Getting home from work two hours ago (not allowed to use facebook during daytime – one of my newly implemented productivity habits), I wrote her and asked:

Yepp. A good idea will play out tomorrow evening, and I bet you are as excited as for how this will turn out. Or maybe this is the very last sentence you’ll read of my blog, realizing you have more important things to spend your time on. Seriously – don’t you? Or she reads this and think I’m wired and cancels the whole thing ( I know you won’t ? ).

Anyways, I thought I’d briefly discuss my relationship to food in this post… Because it isn’t normal and it runs my life. Which I intend to change. I’ll give you the short story – When I was a kid I was kind of fat. The end.

Can you find me 😉 ?

Well, I guess there’s more to it. I Loved eating all the junk I could come over (that’s what families ate in the 90’s – sugar, sugar, sugar) Having a mum making the most delicious buns ever, like all the time, you can imagine how that ended.. Eventually at around 12 years of age, I hit a turning point after not being able to eat for like two-three weeks (thank god for the flu!). I lost a shitload of weight.

Eventually I started exercising as well, and gradually went from eating everything to eating nothing (corner stone habit). I got the hang of it after a while when finally educating myself and realizing that you kind of need to eat too to get big and strong. The girls liked that, at least I bought in to that idea. Or they (you?) don’t want you skinny as a leaf!

Today, my life is on the healthier side, at least on surface level, because it’s still not a ‘healthy’ relationship I have. Far from it. Once you see yourself as fat, you’ll never abandon that self-image. At least I haven’t. And that kind of works against you at times and messes with your head. And health.

Ops, I just realized over an hour went by. And I need to eat.. This is a good example of how this plays out today. I’ve trained three times,  a total of 13 km plus some intense boxing at the gym, yet I have failed to eat more than 1500 kcal. I trick myself to push the meals further in to the evening – it’s my big reward. And now the clock is almost eleven, and I need to get up 1 t 6. Thank god for peanut butter, bananas and almonds..

See you tomorrow, and I guess I know where to big up the thread..!

Hej då, Ciao,  привет тогда

/Alexander

Weirdest moment(s) of the day:

When I said hello to three different random girls while running home on my way from work, I kind of go desensitised after this challenge I did some weeks ago: https://youtu.be/wPsc5pWpyiw

Quote of the day:

“Not giving a fuck is not about being indifferent. It just means you’re comfortable with being different. Don’t say fuck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.”

– Mark Mansson

 YouTube video of the day:

I’ve seen it a bunch of times, but it’s a good one in the teaching of mastering humor!

3 Jokes Guaranteed To Make People Laugh –  https://youtu.be/T6Ea6fPfMeQ

Monday, the day after New Tears Eve. A bit tiered. Got myself a bit drunk for the first time in 8 -9 months (who’s couting?). Drunk being I felt alcohol in my body. One beer and a shot of Rum doesn’t do much, but I felt it. And I didn’t like it. So, I stopped. I really don’t need it in my life. But still, I don’t want to have a black and white relationship to things, and I felt like taking a glass with my old dear friends, so I did. It does add something to the atmosphere – laughter, numbness, tiredness, anxiety and feeling like shit ( in that order ).

Besides last night, the weekend has been just great. I’ve had my best friend Christoffer staying at my place for a couple of days, and we’ve have done only what we love; training, eating food, filming and watching movies. Miss having that dude around (lived together for three years). Shoot some great scenes for my upcoming channel YouTube trailer. For instance, the instant date I had with a Russian girl name Anna. Oh yes, that happened.

Christoffer and me were having fika in a crowded Espresso House at Drottninggatan yesterday afternoon. I mentioned to him that we should have some ‘date’ material for the trailer. We had been out shooting some throught the weekend, and I had already done some interviews, flirted with a girl I approached, hugged people and executed some PPP (Perfect Public Pushups). The idea was to get some content to show what I’m all about on my channel. Christoffer laughed, looked at me with I don’t know what in mind, and encouraged my date-idea. I looked to the table on my left where I had seen a very beautiful lady sitting by her own. ‘Hmm, I wonder…’

“What the heck, should I ask her Christoffer?”

Before giving myself time to thing through my actions, I spontaneously leaned over towards her and introduced myself

“Excuse me, do you you speak Swedish? No, where’re you from?”

She replied friendly and said that she was a Yoga teacher from Moscow visiting Stockholm for five days with her friend ‘Vic’. Short for Victoria (this took 3 minutes to clear out – her English wasn’t top notch).

“Would you mind if we staged a little date between you and me while my friend films us?”

Hesitation. A smile. ‘Sure’. It was on. And what was supposed to be something staged, actually turned out to be as great as I ever could have wished for. I just had such a blast and we really connected. After a while her friend sat down next to her and got some attention too. 20 minutes later, and I was as happy as ever and walked out from the cafe with a little bit of a Russian crush. Hopefully we’ll meet up again before she flies back to the country of Vodka.

Anyways, new year’s, new goals. I’m kind of delaying my real habit implementation for tomorrow. Excuses? No, I just need to structure out the practical details for making my habit implementation work (OneNote-tracking!). But I am a bit overwhelmed, and a bit scared that I’m grasping for too much here. BUT, I’ll do my best and I’ll  posts daily here on my progress so I have someone to report to. Perhaps mostly for my own sake (yes), but if anyone happens to be motivated – hey, that’s great!

One of my January Habits is to do a blog post daily, and I’m already sensing that this will take too much time. Too much I want to say, as always. Must learn how to throw out the garbage. Less is more!

But so, what’s the purpose? Never do anything without a clearly specified purpose ( I’m not living by those words btw, but it sound good in theory). Well, I’d like to improve my writing. But also I just feel certain stuff is worth sharing. And I do journal every day, so why not just put in a little more effort and share my wordpoo. I have nothing to hide. Although it might take a while for me to find my voice, daily status updates are as interesting as, well daily status updates. It’s worth shit. So, we’ll just have to see what direction this takes off in.

See you tomorrow! And no, this doesn’t mean I’m quitting YouTube. Love that too much. This is just a complement for things that don’t fit there. Also, I am a bit lost there right now so we’ll se what happens there!

TOP MOMENTS OT THE DAY:

• Repping out squats until I cried like a baby, and then cried some more while killing my calves just after.
• Watching through the video from the ‘date’ – those ‘can’t help but to smile’-moments
• Eating up all the leftovers from yesterday’s New Years dinner (this will happen tonight, and yes it’s going to be amazing)

Youtube-Video of the day:

Only watched one (damn), and it was so so, but the execution was nice. Doing a lot of stand up comedy and storeytelling -analysis

Norm Macdonald- Best joke ever told

Update: Okay so I went througb a fiew more, and this one is by far the most see worthy. Nothing new really if you’ve read the 4-hour work week ( great book!);

Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss

Quote of the day:

“Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life”

– Tim Ferris

Have an amazing night people, now I’m going to go do my three-minute Yoga!

/Alexander

P.S. If you missed my facing fears Christmas calendar where I faced some kind of fear every day up untill christmas, you can check it out here: https://youtu.be/QjWEsrXAXLo