The world just had to put me to the test today. I guess I had it coming when I posted yesterday’s blog post, perhaps making me come of like not being annoyed or frustrated about anything, and condemning people who are. None of those two things are neither true or what I intended to do. As I said then, once and a while I too complain over those things that in ‘my book’ shouldn’t be wasted precious energy on.
I just try to be conscious enough to not spill it out in the public forum, dragging other innocent people with me. We have mirror neurons, and when we are around negative people we subconsciously try to match their emotional state. This behaviour is also truethe other way around. And I rather impact my surrounding in that direction. But unless you’re Buddha himself, most of us will feel some degree of bad emotions when shitty things happen. Me too can experience an emotional carousel when things don’t go my way.
Today was one of those day; long tough day at work. Slept like shit. Had some wired feeling within I couldn’t quite pinpoint. So finally, I threw myself on the bike, eager to get home as quick as possible and reward myself with a nice hot meal at the finish line. Minus 3-4 degrees. Slippery as heck on the roads. And my bike didn’t quite want it my way. But finally, with frozen fingers and toes, too many stops due to a chain that didn’t what to stay on, a bike ride that this morning took 53 minutes finally was over after ~ 1½ hours.
Did I go mad? Did people think a furious Hitler just passed them on the bike? No. I did manage to control myself. Sure, when my chain flew off for the third time and I had no sense of life in my fingers left, a burst of irritation filled me up. And I felt that, I really did. But I accepted it and I stayed in the emotions. But then I decided to move on and laughed over the irony of me using the example of keeping it cool when getting a flat tire in yesterday’s blog post. Turned to Spotify and Eric Prydz, and instead thought about this giving me some material for the blog. The old me would have been so immersed in those evil emotions, probably letting it affect the rest of the evening.
Butwhy do I keep nagging on about this topic? It’s simple. I’m practicing my sales skills. With some intentional focused personal development work, we truly have the potential to change our lives to the better. There’s so much life potential buried within each one of us. At least that’s what I’ve come to experience, and I’m just too overly enthusiastic to not try and make you discover that as well. I feel obligated to let the rest of the world know! Despite if you think I’m a nutcase or not.
So how do you increase your ability to be less emotionally reactive? Yesterday I mentioned the basic outline I follow, based on the book the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem; 1. Being Conscious. 2.Self-Acceptance. 3. Self-responsibility. But It really starts with living more consciously. You need to pass through that door first. Which is not done so easily. It can however be done with some effort and an approach that fits you.
If you read the book I refer too, it will present you with some sentence completion exercises to do daily for a while. Basically, making you spell out how you would act if you lived your life with a higher level of consciousness. The purpose being to activate your conscious mind. It takes about five to ten minutes in the morning and in the evening. I’ve done it in periods, and it has worked well. But truthfully, it’s quite boring and I really had to force myself to do it. All personal development won’t be fun, I’ll tell you that!
Another way to increase your level of consciousness is through practicing meditation, which also can be… Boring! You’ll perhaps grow to love it as I’ve done (I really hated it and still do at times). So, are there any fun ways? Well, my absolute favourite way of working on increasing my level of consciousness is through journaling. Which I do a whole lot.
Now, I’ve already written too much (and still haven’t had my hot-meal-bike-reward) so instead I’m going to direct you to a video I’ve done where I describe my journaling process for this purpose. Also bellow I give you sources to some different alternatives for how to become more conscious and aware.
The video: The most important skill to Face Your Fears – How to become more Conscious
Two good videos by Brendon Burchard on this topic:
How To Reprogram Your Mind (for Positive Thinking): https://youtu.be/wmx_35rQIRg
If you feel that You are a positive person, but are being draged down by your surounding and don’t know how to handle it:
How to Deal With Negative People: https://youtu.be/Q5DoDfAjIl0
WAYS OF INCREASING YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS
# being mindfull
A very nice guide to raising your level of consciousness and being mindful throughout the day without the journaling focus:
Mindfulness – How To Actually Practice Mindfulness & Conquer Your Emotions – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01Pfs3VuizM
Or a even more extensive and longer one including a meditation like practice, but with the focus of awareness. If you have the time and energy to get through it, it’s well worth your time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01Pfs3VuizM
Finding 10 minutes a day to practice meditation. Just sitting down, closing your eyes and trying to be aware. This link will get you straight to a very nice Meditation For Beginners guide by Leo Gura ( really recommend it) https://youtu.be/fXmG1x1ih1U?t=5m14s
If you have a super short attention span, here’s a shorter guide: “How To Meditate For Beginners – A Definitive Guide – video:” https://youtu.be/mMMerxh_12U
# Sentence completion exercise as described from the book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nahaniel Branden:
“When working with sentence completion on your own, you can use a notebook, typewriter, or computer. (An acceptable alternative is to do the sentence completions into a tape recorder, in which case you keep repeating the stem into a recorder, each time completing it with a difference ending, and pliy the work back later to reflect on it.)
First thing in the morning, before proceeding to the day’s business, sit and write the following stem:
If I bring more awareness to my life today-
Then, as rapidly as possible, without pausing for reflection, write as many endings for that sentence as you can in two or three minutes (never fewer than six and ten is enough).
Do not worry if your endings are literally true, or make sense, or are “profound.” Write anything, but write something. “ (1995, Branden, p. 309-310)
Here’s more sentences:
“Living consciously to me means –
Then, as rapidly as possible, without pausing for reflection, write as many endings for that sentence as you can in two or three minutes (never fewer than six, but ten is enough). Do not worry if your endings are literally true, make sense, or are “profound.” Write anything, but write something.
Then, go on to the next stem: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today-
(Why only 5 percent? Let us proceed in small, nonintimidating, “bitesizechews.” Besides, most of the time 5 percent is plenty!)
Then: If I pay more attention to how· I deal with people today-
Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-
Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to (fill in a particular problem you are concerned about-for example, your relationship with someone, or a barrier you’ve hit at work, or your feelings of anxiety or depression) –
When you are finished, proceed with your day’s business. At the end of the day, as your last task before dinner, do six to ten endings each for the following stems:
When I reflect on how I would feel if I lived more consciously-
When I reflect what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities-
When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-
When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to (whatever you’ve filled in)-
Do this exercise every day, Monday through Friday for the first week. Do not read what you wrote the day before. Naturally there will be many repetitions. But also, new endings will inevitably occur. You are energizing all of your psyche to work for you.
Sometime each weekend, reread what you have written for the week, and then write a minimum of six endings for this stem:
If any of what I wrote this week is true, it would be helpful if 1-
In doing this work, the ideal is to empty your mind of any expectations concerning what will happen or what is “supposed” to happen. Do not impose any demands on the situation. Try to empty your mind of expectations.
Do the exercise, go about your day’s activities, and merely notice any differences in how you feel or how you operate. You will discover that you have set in motion forces that make it virtually impossible for you to avoid operating more consciously.”
( The Six Pillars of self-esteem, p.85, Nathaniel Branden)