Obligated to rise quickly.

Today’s Fear-fail: Naivly thinking that just because something works for me, it doesn’t automaticaly mean it’s going to work for someone else. I mean, this is not news to me, but still I try to fix my broken sister with my toolbox. Or sell her on my ideas. And that just made things worse tonight. But how do you do when your tools doesn’t work, and that’s what she screams for? A soloution. Fuck, I don’t know and it makes me almost fall down into that deep dark hole as well. BUT, The real learning (reminder) tonight, is to not allow myself to do that. I can’t affor do be down there, because then I won’t be able to help her nor anyone else. And I owe it to the world to do that. Save people, from themselves.

Today’s fear facing: A lot of actions at work today which forced me to flex those fear facing muscles. Like concretizing a plan with my boss to go down to 50% work time in April, and then 100% of after that. But, posting my latest video for sure is worth mentiongin:

Today’s new thing: Listened to a guided meditation breathing exercise while walking home from the office. Nice. Although I had a thousand things flying around in my head. I’ve been waking up around 3 AM every night for the last 2-3 weeks due to all these thoughts. The upside is that I get some nice work sessions out at this time, before crashing 2-3 hours later and cramming out one hour more sleep before getting up again. Some part of me kind of like it though.

Sleep well, tonight I hope I really do… Starting to take it’s toll on me!


About the author: alenils

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