This week’s challenge is all about THE PRACTICE OF SELF-RESPONSIBILITY, one of the six pillars of self-esteem (from the book with the same name) which self-esteem can be broken down to. It’s about you starting to take responsibility for your life, actions and all that follows because of that.

Because we are on an intense self-esteem building journey, and the results has personally so far fundamentally changed me as a person – my own results clearly highlight Self-esteem as the no. 1 thing to grow yourself to a whole new level.

So, in this video we’ll go through the meaning of self-responsibility and what actions this week’s challenge entails to grow our self-esteem.

How The first three Pillars of Self-Esteem relates

So, we have come to the third pillar, out of the book the six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden. Now just because you haven’t seen those videos on The Practice of Living Consciously and The Practice of Self-Acceptance, it doesn’t necessarily hinder you from taking on this week’s challenge, just know that if you want to reach true self-esteem, you need to take the time and give those two areas the proper attention as well. People are in such a rush to develop and get through books with deep content, but a process like this can’t be rushed. It requires deep and focused attention at one thing at the time; action, reflection, conclusion, adaptation. When you start to grasp the importance of a higher consciousness, you can see clearly how that is where the change process starts, and how self-acceptance follows and self-responsibility follows in that order. It’s insights you have to experience on your own, over and over again.

Now, with that being said, you can jump-cut your way straight to self-responsibility as you actually can’t get to self-responsibility without going through the first two steps. It’s just that they are automated, and we can make them work much more effective, which will serve our self-esteem greatly. Above all, we’ll start to pick up on the subconscious things that otherwise might be lurking in the background, yet still having a great impact on our lives.

So what does it mean to be Self-responsible?

Basically, it means to be able to respond ideally to all situations we face in life; stepping up and take ownership and responsibility for what happens to you and how you chose to live your live. Not being reactive to what is thrown in front of you, but living a proactive life where you have control and dictate the direction of your life path. Not putting the blame on external factors and not feeling bad or a shame because the way you want to go about life isn’t a match with friends, family or the social norm.

“The practice of self-responsibility entails these realizations:

I am responsible for the achievement of my desires.

I am responsible for my choices and actions.

I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work.

I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my relationships.

I am responsible for my behavior with other people-coworkers,

associates, customers, spouse, children, friends.

I am responsible for how I prioritize my time.

I am responsible for the quality of my communications.

I am responsible for my personal happiness.

I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live.

I am responsible for raising my self-esteem.”

(Branden, 1995, p.105)

To exemplify how all these three pillars come together, I’ll give you a personal perspective, I’ve been doing this channel of mine for over a year now. And from day one I’ve been a shamed of it, been hiding, not mentioning what I spend almost all my spare time with, not sharing my work on social media; why? Because I’ve feared what other people will think of me, of what I’m doing. That I’m being weird, or that the things I’m putting out is rubbish. Exposing my true naked self, with all its faults and imperfections included.

Know that I didn’t realize this was the case until lately, the story I was telling myself was that the people I didn’t tell, wasn’t my target audience anyways. That it would make it easier for me to create stuff if as few as possible of the people around me knew what I was up to. But so when I started this Self-esteem building focus, with consciousness first out, I begun to become aware of the uncomfortableness I had in relation to this. I stopped supressing my emotions through external inputs to keep my mind occupied. And when the week of self-acceptance embarked, truly taking in the emotions stirring up in my head, feeling the, and then accepting them. I learned that there are so many things not owning, not living up to, or doing the wrong way. So now, when the focus goes on to taking self-responsibility, it means I have to stop these behaviours. It means I need to start taking action in directions that is unfiltered and pure me. I have to start being proud of what I’m doing, and make sure that I do the best I can, as this is my strongest purpose in life right now. I need to help my sister, and I can only do that by grasping this area to it’s fullest.

Because this is what self-responsibility is all about – living the life you owe it to yourself to live; being a proactive person in contrast to a reactive one; planning ahead; dealing with tuff situations because it is what needs to be done. It’s about living the life you truly want to live – taking responsibility to fulfil your potential and not waste it way as a result of being paralysed of fear or pure laziness. Without blaming external factors for not doing so. Not being a shamed for who you are, acting the way you truly want to act. Following your heart. Every day.

We should however note that there are some things we can’t affect, as they are external factor beyond our control. Now this is a delicate topic, as many people in fact use this as defence for arguing that they don’t have to take responsibility. You may not be able to have any impact on the global economy, but blaming it for your failing business and doing nothing about it – is not the way to interpret this. Applying full self-consciousness and self-acceptance will take you far; and hence also highlights the strong connection between the pillars.

“In stressing that we need to take responsibility for our life and happiness, I am not suggesting that a person never suffers through accident or through the fault of others, or that a person is responsible for everything

that may happen to him or her.”

(Branden, 1995, p.109)

Just as Nathaniel Branden finishes of this chapter of his book – No one is coming! IT S UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE NECCESSARY CHANGES. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Even if someone else would come, the motivation can only come from within, and that will never be handed to you on a silver plate.

The Objectives of this week are (In the order of prioritization):

#1 – Do the sentence completion exercises described below, morning and evening throughout the week.

• Self-responsibility to me means-
• At the thought of being responsible for my own existence-
• If I accepted responsibility for my own existence, that would mean-
• When I avoid responsibility for my own existence-

“The power of the method is that it generates shifts in the consciousness and orientation of the individual without lengthy “discussions” or “analyses.” The solution is largely generated from within. If you keep a journal and over time write six to ten endings for each of these incomplete sentences, not only will you learn a great deal but it will be almost impossible not to grow in the practice of self-responsibility. The best way of working is to do the week’s stems Monday through Friday, then do the weekend stem If any of what I have been writing is true, it might be helpful if 1- and then move on to the next week’s stem on Monday.”

(Branden, 1995, p.115)

#2 – Choose one area in your life, preferably the one that needs the most attention, to take responsibility for and give some extra attention to this week. If you were to invest 15 minutes per day this week – what area would those precious minutes go to and why? What small action would you take? Getting started is the hardest part.

 #3 – Journal and reflect throughout the days, try to be as aware as possible on what’s going on your mind and how it relates to the context you’re are in. Reflect & analyse; how are you acting, how are you feeling and what are you thinking – and why? Super important step in order to make this Self-esteem development happen effectively.

Final words

Thank you for watching my fellow Self-Esteesteamers, and If you want more of this, make sure to subscribe and hit that bell so you’ll get notified when I’ve put together a new video for you guys! Also don’t miss out on my three weeks of rejection therapy challenges vlogs for some inspiration to go out there and dare to do what you truly want to do!

See you in the week!

/Alexander 🙂

Hey guys and welcome to yet another personal development challenge – because that’s what this channel is all about. An area that has been more and more focused concerning self-esteem lately, as I’ve realised what a key role it plays in most kind of growth.

So, what are we all about this week? Expose ourselves to potential rejection within an area we want to progress/develop in; goals, believes, wants  – Rejection Therapy with a Self-esteem building focus.

 And why do we do this? To build self-esteem and get use to not fearing things in life!

 Self-esteem is the foundation for building ourselves up, as that is what we are all about. Starting of this channel being all over the place, as this new year arrived, I sat down an asked myself where we need to begin this journey, and the answer is within. And within starts with building self-esteem. Doing the right thing, following our true self and acting as our ideal self.

“ Your self-esteem rises every time you overcome a challenge… “

But so, if self-esteem is built by doing what you know you should do, that means action is the way to build it. And so, going out there and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in an area you’d like to develop in – will boost that self-esteem of yours like nothing else. And that’s why we do this rejection therapy challenges – exciting fun and a real pain in the ass.

Because I don’t only base this on some book I’ve read, mainly this is from first-hand experience since it actually is the third week we’re doing this! And the results have been amazing, although it is a never-ending journey, and continues progress only comes if we continuously keep raising the bar. Also an observation I did during this week’s evaluation – when it feels the worse – the greatest reward is almost always just on the other side of that sensation – you just have to find your way through.

”See You On The Other Side, Brother – Lost, Desmond”

Now just because we talk about rejection, we still go into every situation aiming for a yes! That’s what we want, but the design of the situation in itself, makes the outcome lean towards the odds being against us. Weather we subjectively believe so, or if it’s an actual fact, is less important as long as it is something we fear to do.

So how will we do this? Five questions/request within an area that aligns with our goals and beliefs, one thing each day. But remember, one is better than zero!

 Are there any rules? Yes, you can’t lie, and you must stand by what you are about to do, doing things that aligns with your idea of your ideal self. Self-esteem.

So that’s this week’s challenge! Commit to me in the comments and let me know what kind of requests questions you plan to do. Also, make sure to subscribe if you don’t want to miss any of my attempts throughout the week, trust me, you don’t!

With juicy Love,
/Alexander:)

The Practice of Self-Acceptance

It’s time for the Second pillar (from the book the Six Pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden ) – THE PRACTICE OF SELF ACCEPTANCE!

So, we’ve been through learning how to be more conscious, take in our emotions and feelings and being more aware and present throughout our lives – and of course this is something we need to continue doing. But in this next part, it’s about owning up to this reality – accepting what is! A precondition that can lead us to what we are truly after – change!

“Without self-acceptance, self-esteem is impossible. In fact, it is so intimately bound up with self-esteem that one sometimes sees the two ideas confused. Yet they are different in meaning, and each needs to be understood in its own right. Whereas self-esteem is something we experience, self-acceptance is something we do. Stated in the negative, self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself. The concept has three levels of meaning, and we will consider each of them in turn.” – The Six Pillars., p. 90, Branden.

The full audiobook – it’ll start where this chapter begins:

https:// youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY?t=1h11m48s

The Objectives:

#1: Sentence completion exercise

“Sentence Completions to Facilitate Self-Acceptance

What follows is a five-week sentence-completion program designed to facilitate self-acceptance. It is more detailed than the exercises offered for the other pillars because, having taught these ideas for many years, I find that people often have more difficulty fully grasping self-acceptance than any other practice I recommend.

Notice that I include stems dealing with issues I have not explicitly discussed, such as accepting conflicts or accepting excitement. For example, if I can accept my conflicts, I can deal with them and move toward resolving them; and if not, not. If I can accept my excitement, I can live it, I can look for appropriate outlets; if I am afraid of my excitement and try to extinguish it, I may kill the best part of myself. Fairly complex ideas are embedded in these stems. They bear studying and thinking about, and they entail many more implications than I can explore here.

MORNINGS:

Self-acceptance to me means-
If I am more accepting of my body-
When I deny and disown my body-
If I am more accepting of my conflicts-

EVENINGS:

When I deny or disown my conflicts-
If I am more accepting of my feelings-
When I deny and disown my feelings-
If I am more accepting of my thoughts-
When I deny and disown my thoughts-

On the weekends, read over you have written and then write six to ten endings for If any of what I have written is true, it would be helpful if l -. “

– The Six Pillars., p. 101, Branden.

#2 – The mirror exercise

“Stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at your face and body. Notice your feelings as you do so. I am asking you to focus not on your clothes or your makeup but on you. Notice if this is difficult or makes you

uncomfortable. It is good to do this exercise naked. You will probably like some parts of what you set; more than others. If you are like most people, you will find some parts difficult to look at for long because they agitate or displease you. In your eyes there may be a pain you do not want to confront. Perhaps you are too fat or too thin. Perhaps there is some aspect of your body you so dislike that you can hardly bear to keep looking at it. Perhaps you see signs of age and cannot bear to stay connected with the thoughts and emotions these signs evoke. So the impulse is to escape, to flee from awareness, to reject, deny, disown aspects of your self.

Still, as an experiment, I ask you to stay focused on your image in the mirror a few moments longer, and say to yourself, “Whatever my defects or imperfections, I accept myself unreservedly and completely.” Stay focused, breathe deeply, and say this over and over again for a minute or two without rushing the process. Allow yourself to experience fully the meaning of your words. You may find yourself protesting, “But I don’t like certain things about my body, so how can I accept them unreservedly and completely?” But remember: “Accepting”does not necessarily mean “liking.” “Accepting” does not mean we cannot imagine or wish for changes or improvements. It means experiencing, without denial or avoidance, that a fact is a fact. In this case, it means accepting that the face and body in the mirror are your face and body and that they are what they are. If you persist, if you surrender to the reality of what is, if you surrender to awareness (which is what “accepting” ultimately means), you may notice that you have begun to relax a bit and perhaps feel more comfortable with yourself, and more real. Even though you may not like or enjoy everything you see when you
look in the mirror, you are still able to say, “Right now, that’s me. And I don’t deny the fact. I accept it.” That is respect for reality.” – The Six Pillars., p.95, Branden.

GOOD LUCK!

/Alexander 🙂

Hey guys!

It’s time for a new weekly challenge, and this time that means throwing ourselves into week two of the rejection therapy!  We do this to build self-esteem and get used to handle the fear of rejection to be able to go after all the things we want in life! Now this is the second week we do this, and if you want to see those videos just press here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxw2jMXwRfsml8sliXT2WbdJ1OA4Db65J

But so, what is Rejection Therapy? It’s about desensitizing yourself to rejection – getting so used to that “NO” that it doesn’t scare you anymore. It’s just part of the process of going after what you want. Because we all want stuff, weather it’s in the areas of relationships, things, career or whatever. If we can learn how to implement the mindset of not straying away from the most efficient way of getting to you goal, we have so tremendously much to win. Life becomes more fun, exciting and we learn that we actually can do things we never thought was possible. ALSO, this is building our self-esteem like nothing else. Maybe a stretch, but it’s an incredibly good exercise to strengthen it. Without going in to the details, self-esteem is strengthening when we do the right thing, acting as our ideal self, no matter how hard or painful it might be. To quote Nathaniel Branden, the bible author of The six pillars of Self-esteem;

“Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”

Now just because you go out there and ask the things you’d want, it necessarily doesn’t mean that they’ll come true. But then at least we won’t live with regrets. We tried. Of course, you can always try harder, but that’s another discussion. At least we tried one possible way. And we can be proud, we can feel our self-esteem raise. An amazing feeling. And it gives us more energy to do it again, and again, until that fear of rejection is incomparable small to how it used to be.

We can get rid of:

• The anxitiy leading up to us making the asking the question
• Getting more comfortable in the actualy talking moment, daring to drag it out for longer and longer – learning how to negoiate
• Handling the actually respons/rejection
• BUILDING self-esteem as we are doing what we have set out to do; doing what we know will benmnefit us and is the right thing top do.

SO how are we going to do this challenge?

Jia Jiang is the guy who inspired this challenge, as he went out and did a 100 days of rejection therapy and vlogged about it. You can find him over at http://rejectiontherapy.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy/ where you also will find some tips for how to go about this, or just inspiration for some questions/requests;

Jia Jinag’s 5 tips:

#1 – REJECTION TIP: Set a number of how many rejections you can face before you give up on your goal. My number was 100.

#2 – Always prepare a good reason WHY you are asking for something so you can explain your sometimes crazy requests

#3 – Be confident in your requests. If you’re nervous or scared, people will feel your unease and be less likely to say yes.

#4 – If someone says no, ask how you can help make it happen. Rejections are gateways into negotiations. When you ask how, you have the chance to collaborate and turn your no into a yes.

#5 – I focused on rejection attempts that would make me fearless. As you get rejected, create your own attempts to conquer your fears!

Because the objectives of this week is to go out there and put ourselves in firing line for rejection each day this week, Monday through Friday. In order to make this really self-esteem building, it should be questions/requests that align with your wants and beliefs, or something on your bucket list – something that moves your life forward. Now If it’s too hard to come up with those things, pick something which you know will probably will get you rejected. You can find inspiration from Jia Jiang, or my first week. Have in mind that people love to share experiences, talk to people that are passionate about what they’re doing. But remember that the important thing is to just do it, don’t let the small details hinder you.

The only rule is that you CAN’T LIE – as that is devastating for your Self-Esteem.

So that’s it! Hope you’re excited, because I really am! And make sure to stop by during the week as I’ll be posting every day (hopefully).

Good luck!

/Alexander

P.S. If you want some more inspiration, try reading Jia Jiang’s book ”Rejection Proof”, I’m only on the second chapter but I’m liking it a lot so far!

Hey guys!

Time for a new weekly challenge, and this time we are throwing ourselves into self-esteem building practices for real! Or we actually started out last week with some hands on practical challenges: rejection therapy – going out there and asking questions that put us in a great likelihood of getting rejected, but not just any provocative questions. No, we wanted to ask maximize the self-esteem building effect, and hence these questions needed to be coming from a place of genuine curiosity or just aligning with our goals, believes or just something that we know would make us grow and benefit us if we did it.  And what a week – make sure to go back and look at all my days of vlogging if you haven’t already.

But so, this week we are getting ourselves into the theoretical part of self-esteem, because this isn’t a topic we can just move past on a very shallow level. I believe this is one of the most fundamental core pieces if we want to reach our true capacity and live as happy and fulfilled folks. Still, it’s a tuff topic to address, because the things that the theoretical side of it addresses, is just so hard to grasp. Or I should say, it needs to be pinned down to simultaneously practical experience. We can’t swallow a whole book in a week and expect to deeply understand the implication and ramification of it – at least I can’t! This need to take it’s time, and I believe if we do so, the rewards will benefit us on a core level for the rest of our lives.

So, what does this mean for us? Well as guidance through this self-esteem building Journey we are relying on two sides. One theoretical part that will be based on Nathaniel Brandens book: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, where we will address one of these pillars for one week at the time.  And then we have the purely practical application of Rejection Therapy to break up with every other week – to make sure we’re actually putting in some real action. But also to enjoy the process of growing our Self-esteem, because Rejection therapy is incredibly fun, yet so daunting.  This means we have six weeks ahead of us – unless we somehow need to course correct, but that’s the initial plan!

I don’t want these videos to be too long – I’ll lose you then. So instead I’m going to briefly address the main points and give a structural overview, and then quite quickly go the practical exercises, which will be this week’s objectives and are directly taken from this book and designed to math every Self-esteem pilllar. I’ll also emphasise you to read some of your own from this book, know if you don’t want to go out and buy it. You could listen to the audiobook, either through audible.com (get a free 30-day trial if you sign up) But I also found it on YouTube ( link ).  Since we’re only doing the first pillar, what will be covered this week is only about 20 minutes, plus 50 if you want a better understanding of the fundamental concept of self-esteem (first chapter) –  which I recommend!

So enough with the appetisers – what the heck is self-esteem? We’ll start on a very shallow level and present the basic concepts and key understandings to get going, and then we might discuss it more throughout the week. As Nathaniel Branden says: “What determines the level of self-esteem is what the individual does.” – that means action will our focus, not just reading and learning about it. Just to be clear, I am by no means an expert in this area, which means this will be a growth journey for me as well.  This also means I’m going to try something new and quote my way through this video with the help of the book – to not mess anything up! We’ll see if it works or not! Anyhow, let’s get started.

Nathanidel branden’s definition of Self-Esteem:

 “Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in the efficacy of our mind, in our ability to think. By extension, it is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment – happiness – are right and natural for us. The survival-value of such confidence is obvious; so is the danger when it is missing.” (Branden, 1995)

 Or a more condensed spin to it which really stick with you:

“Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”

Having a precise definition – according to Branden – serves the purpose of giving us a clear target to aim to. That’s also why the theoretical part is a necessity to complement the practical side developing a strong self-esteem, it gives us a language and terms to think in when analysing ourselves and the actions we take in the context of building self-esteem. Something that in theory, and from own experience, should rapidly increase our ability to grasp and develop within this area.

Now as I’ve said, I only want to give you a very brief structural overview to keep this condensed. But the next level of this is also of importance to understand:

“Self-esteem has two interrelated components. One is a sense of basic confidence in the face life’s challenges: self-efficacy. The other is a sense of being worthy of happiness: self-respect. Self-efficacy means confidence in the functioning of my mind, in my ability to think,  nderstand, learn, choose, and make decisions; confidence in my ability to understand the  acts of reality that fall within the sphere of my interests and needs; self-trust; self-reliance.

Self-respect means assurance of my value; an affirmative attitude toward my right to live and to be happy; comfort in appropriately asserting my thoughts, wants, and needs; the feeling that joy and fulfilment are my natural birth right.”

(Branden, p.18)

So that’s just the understanding of what Self-esteem is – but why do we need it?

 “…self-esteem is a fundamental human need. Its impact requires neither our understanding  or our consent. It works its way within us with or without our knowledge. We are free to seek to grasp the dynamics of self-esteem or to remain unconscious of them, but in the latter case we remain a mystery to ourselves and endure the consequences.”

(Branden, p. 3)

“A part from disturbance whose roots are biological, I cannot think of a single psychological problem—from anxiety and depression, to underachievement at school or at work, to fear of intimacy, happiness, or success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to spouse battering or child molestation, to co-dependency and sexual disorders, to passivity and chronic aimlessness, to suicide and crimes of violence—that is not traceable, at least in part, to the problem of deficient self-esteem. Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.”

“(Branden, p. XV)

“The value of self-esteem lies not merely in the fact that it allows us to feel better but that it  llows us to live better-to respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully and ore appropriately.”

(Branden, p.5)

“The more solid our self-esteem, the better equipped we are to cope with troubles that arise in our personal lives or in our careers; the quicker we are to pick ourselves up after a fall; the more energy we have to begin a new. (An extraordinarily high number of successful entrepreneurs have two or more bankruptcies in their past; failure did not stop them.) The higher our self-esteem, the more ambitious we tend to be, not necessarily in a career or financial sense, but in terms of what we hope to experience in life-emotionally, intellectually, creatively, spiritually. The lower our self-esteem, the less we aspire to. and the less we are likely to achieve. Either path tends to be self-reinforcing and self-perpetuating.” (Branden, p.6)

“We have all heard the observation, “If you do not love yourself, you will be unable to love others.” Less well understood is the other half of the story. If I do not feel lovable, it is very difficult to believe that anyone else loves me. If I do not accept myself, how can I accept your love for me? Your warmth and devotion are confusing: it confounds my selfconcept, since I “know” I am not lovable. Your feeling for me cannot possibly be real, reliable, or’ lasting. If I do not feel lovable, your love for me becomes an effort to fill a sieve, and eventually the effort is likely to exhaust you. (Branden, p.8)

“Once again we observe the basic pattern of self-destruction: If I “know” my fate is to be unhappy, I must not allow reality to confuse me with happiness. It is not I who must adjust to reality, but reality that must adjust to me and to my “knowledge” of the way things are and are meant to be.” (Branden, p.11)

“Self-esteem creates a set of implicit expectations about what is possible and appropriate to us. These expectations tend to generate the actions that turn them into realities. And the realities confirm and strengthen the original beliefs. Self-esteem-high or low-tends to be a generator of self-fulfilling prophecies.” (Branden, p.14)

“And finally, research discloses that high self-esteem is one of the best predictors of personal happiness, as is discussed in D. G. Meyers’ The Pursuit of Happiness. Logically enough, low self-esteem correlates with unhappiness.” (Branden, p.7)

So, how do we build self-esteem?

“What determines the level of self-esteem is what the individual does.”

 “In approaching the roots of self-esteem, why do we put our focus on practices, that is, on (mental or physical) actions? The answer is that every value pertaining to life requires action to be achieved, sustained, or enjoyed. In Ayn Rand‘s definition, life is a process of self–generated and self-sustaining action. The organs and systems within our body support our existence by continuous action, We pursue and maintain our values in the world through action. As I discuss in some detail in The Psychology of self-Esteem, it is in the very nature of a value that it is the object of an action. And this includes the value of self-esteem.” (Branden, p. 60)

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: Pillar one – The practice of living consciously

There are Six Pillars, I’m not even going to mention them all at this moment in fear of losing you – we’ll get to the other ones eventually.

“To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals-to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may ~and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.” (Branden, p 69)

“Why is consciousness so important? Because for all species that possess it,consciousness is the basic tool of survival-the ability to be aware of the environment in some form, at some level, and to guide action accordingly. I use consciousness here in its primary meaning: the state of being conscious or aware of some aspect of reality. We also may speak of consciousness as a faculty-the attribute of being able to be aware. To the distinctively human form of consciousness, with its capacity for concept formation and abstract thought, we give the name mind. As we have discussed, we are beings for whom consciousness (at the conceptual level) is volitional. This means that the design of our nature contains an extraordinary option-that of seeking awareness or not bothering (or actively avoiding it), seeking truth or not bothering (or actively avoiding it), focusing our mind or not bothering (or choosing to drop to a lower level of consciousness). In other words, we have the option of exercising our powers or of subverting our means of survival and well-being. This capacity for self-management is our glory and, at times, our burden. Our mind is our basic tool of survival. Betray it and self-esteem suffers.

If we do not bring an appropriate level of consciousness to our activities, if we do not live mindfully, the inevitable penalty is a diminished sense of self-efficacy and self-respect. We cannot feel competent and worthy while conducting our lives in a mental fog. Our mind is our basic tool of survival. Betray it and self-esteem suffers. The simplest form of this betrayal is the evasion of discomfiting facts. (Branden, p. 67-68)

 “The Specifics of living Consciously

Living consciously entails:

• A mind that is active rather than passive.
• An intelligence that takes joy in its own function.
• Being “in the moment,” without losing the wider context.
• Reaching out toward relevant facts rather than withdrawing from them.
• Being concerned to distinguish among facts, interpretations, and emotions.
• Noticing and confronting my impulses to avoid or deny painful or threatening realities.
• Being concerned to know “where I am” relative to my various (personal and professional) goals and projects, and whether I am succeeding or failing.
• Being concerned to know if my actions are in alignment with my purposes.
• Searching for feedback from the environment so as to adjust or correct my course when necessary.
• Persevering in the attempt to understand in spite of difficulties.
• Being receptive to new knowledge and willing to reexamine old assumptions.
• Being willing to see and correct mistakes.
• Seeking always to expand awareness-a commitment to learning therefore, a commitment to growth as a way of life.
• A concern to understand the world around me.
• A concern to know not only external reality but also internal reality, the reality of my needs, feelings, aspirations, and motives, so that I am not a stranger or a mystery to myself.
• A concern to be aware of the values that move and guide me, as well as their roots, so that I am not ruled by values I have irrationally adopted or uncritically accepted from others.”

(Branden, p.72)

The Objectives:

So, the Self-esteem building exercise we are going to do this week will only take 5-10 minutes per day, and it is directly taken from the book. I believe doing exercises like this has an initial resistance to it (at least to me), so if one isn’t used to this type of self-work. But he guarantees the positive effect of it after evaluating the use of it on his clients. So, have faith in it, and just do it!

EXACT DESCRIPTION FROM THE BOOK FOR SENTENCE COMPLETION:

“Sentence Completions to Facilitate the Art of living Consciously

Sentence-completion work is a deceptively simple yet uniquely powerful tool for raising self-understanding, self-esteem, and personal effectiveness. It rests on the premise that all of us have more knowledge than we normally are aware of-more wisdom than we use, more potentials than typically show up in our behavior. Sentence completion is a tool for accessing and activating these “hidden resources.” Sentence completion can be used in many ways. Here I will describe a way I find particularly effective. The essence of this procedure is to write an incomplete sentence, a sentence stem, and to keep adding different endings-the sole requirement being that each ending be a grammatical completion of the sentence. We want a minimum of six endings.

We should work as rapidly as possible-no pauses to “think,” inventing if we get stuck, without worrying if any particular ending is true, reasonable, or significant. Any ending is fine, just keep going. When doing sentence completion this way, we work with a notebook, typewriter, or computer. (~ acceptable alternative is to do the sentence ompletions into a tape recorder, in which case you keep repeating the stem into a recorder, each time completing it with a difference ending. You play the work back later to reflect on it.) Sentence-completion work can be used for many different purposes. Some of them will be examined in the course of this book. Right now, how might we use the technique to facilitate the process of learning to live more consciously?

First thing in the morning, before proceeding to the day’s business, sit down and write the following stem:

Living consciously to me means –

Then, as rapidly as possible, without pausing for reflection, write as many endings for that sentence as you can in two or three minutes (never fewer than six, but ten is enough). Do not worry if your endings are literally true, make sense, or are “profound.” Write anything, but write something.

Then, go on to the next stem: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today-

(Why only 5 percent? Let us proceed in small, nonintimidating, “bitesizechews.” Besides, most of the time 5 percent is plenty!)

Then: If I pay more attention to how· I deal with people today-

Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-

Then: If I bring 5 percent more awareness to (fill in a particular problem you are concerned about-for example, your relationship with someone, or a barrier you’ve hit at work, or your feelings of anxiety or depression) –

When you are finished, proceed with your day’s business. At the end of the day, as your last task before dinner, do six to ten endings each for the following stems:

When I reflect on how I would feel if I lived more consciously-

When I reflect what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities-

When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to my most important relationships-

 When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5 percent more awareness to (whatever you’ve filled in)-

Do this exercise every day, Monday through Friday for the first week. Do not read what you wrote the day before. Naturally there will be many repetitions. But also, new endings will inevitably occur. You are energizing all of your psyche to work for you. Sometime each weekend, reread what you have written for the week, and then write a minimum of six endings for this stem:

If any of what I wrote this week is true, it would be helpful if 1-

 In doing this work, the ideal is to empty your mind of any expectations concerning what will happen or what is “supposed” to happen. Do not impose any demands on the situation. Try to empty your mind of expectations.

Do the exercise, go about your day’s activities, and merely notice any differences in how you feel or how you operate. You will discover that you have set in motion forces that make it virtually impossible foryou to avoid operating more consciously.”

Know that I haven’t tried this myself yet, so we’ll see how it feels like! And as I practice 5-day challenges, I’m gonna do this last part on Friday instead !

———————

Also – the idea is to actively raise our consciousness throughout the day! For me this is going to mean active journaling and checking in on myself every hour (did a challenge on this some weeks back Link: https://youtu.be/kBCu1fOxagI ). Trying to be aware and present and listening to my emotions and what my subconscious are telling me. This is such a powerful thing to do, and cannot be grasped and understand until one start to practice it. It has meant incredibly much for me lately.

https://youtu.be/_jQgvbSdK0I?t=3m4s

As a last objective (Prioritise them in this orderJ ), I’m going to recommend you to read / listen to the book as well. That is the first part of it and the chapter about pillar on – living consciously.  The audio book is a bit condensed compared to the text-book, and the first introductory chapter addressing Self-esteem on a more general level is only about 50 minutes, and then the part on living consciously goes on for only 20 more. So, I strongly recommend you to do that!

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfFUVnwCNVY&t=38s

So that’s the challenge! We’ll see how it goes, it’s a deep dive into Self-Esteem, and an important one. We’ll se how the week vlog will play out, it will no be as intense as last week – that’s for sure!

So good luck & let me know how you feel about this one!

See you in the week,

/Alexander

Sources:

Branden, N. (1995) The six pillars of self-esteem. New York, NY: Random House Publishing Group.

The full audio book:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfFUVnwCNVY&t=38s

YouTuber reflection:

Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden – Insights & Perspectives (Part 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwYVodTRCU

Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden – Insights & Perspectives (Part 2)

https://youtu.be/_jQgvbSdK0I

Summary: It is time to address the topic of Self Esteem on our personal development journey – which basically is how you feel about yourself. However, what will have our attention this week and is closely related to Self-Esteem, is the Self-Image, which concerns how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. That means if you have a negative view of yourself, your self-esteem naturally will be low as well.

So that’s why this week’s challenge will aim to get a clearer view of our present self-image, in particular in the context of limiting beliefs that hinder us in life. Because if we are to reach our full potential, we need to break free from chains that are holding us down.

In practicality this means we are going to turn on the awareness radar and pick up on what stories we tell ourselves; the limiting beliefs that dictate our life and how we act in different situations as a result of that. Yes-we’ve done this before, it’s called self-observation! But that’s only half the battle, because we also are also going to take at least 10 minutes to just sit down and process this data and do some root cause analysis! Asking ourselves Why – looking back to our childhood.

———————————

So we are on a quest to build ourselves up from within, and since this year started we’ve been taken a deep look at ourselves to reach a higher state of self-awareness. Seeking to understand and build a deeper connection with ourselves to get clear picture of who we believe we are, who we really are and who we want to be. In other word we are more or less playing around with what is called Self-concept, because to be self-aware is to have a self-concept. Actually, if we look to how the famous psychologist Carl Rogers defines it, we are missing one part; Self-esteem.

The three components of self-concept consist of:

• The view you have of yourself (self-image)
• How much value you place on yourself (self-esteem or self-worth)
• What you wish you were really like (ideal self)

But before we move on to solely focus on self-esteem, which will be the next big topic for this channel, we need to understand the connection between self-esteem and self-image.

“Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem will be low.”

in what our ideal self looks like, but that’s for later.

So this week will be about getting clear on our present self-image, in particular the context of limiting beliefs that hinder us in life. Because we are to reach our full potential, we need to break free from what is chaining us down. Why? Well because it plays a tremendously important role in the development of our self-esteem. As we have spoken about in earlier challenges, we need to know where we are today, our self-image, so we know what to work on to move towards our ideal self. Logically, this also means having a sense of clarity

But so, I haven written any on this, instead I refer you to the video were Leo from actualized.org explains it way better than I could do today.

But in short here’s a description hi-jacked from Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-image) :

“Self-image is the mental picture, generally of a kind that is quite resistant to change, that depicts not only details that are potentially available to objective investigation by others (height, weight, hair color, etc.), but also items that have been learned by that person about themselves, either from personal experiences or by internalizing the judgments of others. A simple definition of a person’s self-image is their answer to the question “What do you believe people think about you?”.

Self-image may consist of three types:

1. Self-image resulting from how the individual sees themselves.
2. Self-image resulting from how others see the individual.
3. Self-image resulting from how the individual perceives others see them.

These three types may or may not be an accurate representation of the person. All, some or none of them may be true.”

HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS?

Observe yourself throughout the day and the actions you take – what stories are you telling yourself. What beliefs dictated the action you take? Since so much of our actions are controlled on both a conscious and subconscious level, it really requires a HIGH awareness if we are to pick up on the actions we take and the stories we tell ourselves. Since we are acting the way we always do, it will be very hard to notice these things that usually is just your “normal” mode. So if this introspection is going to work, we really need to turn up the knob on our awareness radar and our observational ability.

But observing and collecting the data is one thing, we also need to allocate time to process and analyse all this. so – sit down for 10 minutes on the evening and go through your thoughts and notes. Try to seek answers for why you are having these beliefs. Look back into your history and try to find answers to your beliefs originate from. So take notes throughout the day, and then at the end of the day – take time to go through them and do some introspection in relation to these notes. Start to pull the yarns of these believes and ideas that has dictated your day

That’s why I really urge this week to unplug from all the external input we load ourselves with. Really take time this week to be alone in your own head. No podcasts, no music unless non active listening to lyrics. Just allow yourself time and space to dwell and process your observations. An insight I’ve come to realise the importance of more and more since this focused inner journey begun.

So in short, this week’s objectives are:

• Turn on the awareness radar and try to pick up on the stories you tell yourselves; the limiting beliefs that dictates your life and the way you act in different situations. Self-observation. Take notes continuously throughout the day and think and reflect about why you took or didn’t took the actions you did.
• Allocate alone time for yourself in your own head – stay away from external inputs this week that steels your focus away like podcasts, social media, apps, etc. and try to tune out the music as well, or at least only listen to instrumental music.
• At the end of the day, sit down for 10 minutes and go through your notes and observation of the day; process, reflect and analyse and see if you can find answers to the underlying root cause. Ask yourself why and why until you end up with one or a few plausible answers.

So that’s it! Now in terms of vlogging this week, we’ll see. It may just be some live streams we’re we do this “at-the-end-of-the-day” reflection silently on our own. We’ll see. Make sure to subscribe so you’ll get notifications for all the videos I release!

I wish you the best of luck, & let me know if you’re doing the challenge!

/Alexander J

Recommended material:

Video on self-concept:

https://youtu.be/PaA0mLVQd3k

Video on Self-image:

Hey guys!

It’s time for a new week challenge, and this week we are going to work on our Mind-Body connection! Mind-body connection, what does that really mean? Well, it means that our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes can affect how we function biologically. In other words, your mind has a saying in your bodies health status and physiological responses in different situation! So this translates to a very practical and straight forward challenge; we’re going to try out Wim Hof’s aka The iceman’s daily 4-minute breathing exercises and also do his cold shower challenge! So if you’re up for this, make sure to watch this whole video!
Information from Wim Hof’s homepage:

COLD THERAPY
“The cold is your warm friend. Exposing your body to it in the right way starts a cascade of health benefits, including the buildup of brown adipose tissue and subsequent fat loss, reduced inflammation to facilitate a fortified immune system, balanced hormone levels, improved sleep quality, and the production of endorphins— the feel-good chemicals in the brain that naturally elevate your mood.”

BREATHING
“We’re always breathing, yet we’re mostly unaware of its tremendous potential. Heightened oxygen levels hold a treasure trove of benefits, and the specialized breathing technique of the Wim Hof Method unearths them all: more energy, reduced stress levels, and an augmented immune response to swiftly deal with pathogens.”

COMMITMENT
“The third pillar is the foundation of the other two: both cold exposure and conscious breathing require patience and dedication in order to be fully mastered. Armed with focus and determination you are ready to explore and eventually master your own body and mind.”

The Objectives:
So the objectives of this challenge is to embrace Wim Hof’s breathing practices and do at least one cold shower every day. Just watch the video instructions for how to do this.
The following information is sourced from: wimhofmethod.com

✔ Warning: The breathing exercise has a profound effect and should be practiced in the way it is explained. Always do the breathing exercise in a safe environment (e.g. sitting on a couch/floor) and unforced. Never practice the exercises before or during diving, driving, swimming, taking a bath or in any other environment/place where, should you pass out, a serious injury could occur. Wim Hof breathing may cause tingling sensations and/or lightheadedness. If you’ve fainted, it means that you went to far. Take a step back next time.The cold is a powerful force. We strongly advise to gradually build up exposing yourself to the cold. Always train without force and listen to your body carefully. If it is not practiced responsible, there is a risk of hypothermia. Do not practice the method during pregnancy or when having epilepsy. Persons with cardiovascular health issues, or any other (serious) health conditions, should always consult a medical doctor before starting with the Wim Hof Method.

THE THREE VIDEOS:

Video #1: Wim Hof teaches you how to do more push-ups with his breathing technique. The scientific breathing techniques will significantly improve your energy levels, detox the body and release toxins, relieve stress and tension, and strengthen your immune system.

Video #2: Wim  teaches you how a simple cold shower can help you to burn fat, boost your immune system and increase the “feel good” chemicals in the brain called endorphins (natures own mood boosters). You can download your Free 20 day cold shower sheet here: http://explore.wimhofmethod.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/coldshower-exercise-wimhofmethod.pdf

Video #3: This video is all about commitment. Why you should take action today

You could also just sign up to his homepage and you’ll get all the information there
https://www.wimhofmethod.com/elearning/free-3-part-video-miniclass
For me the structure of this challenge will look like this:
– Breathing exercise every morning prior to my morning workout
– Cold shower each morning after my morning workout

Now besides this, I’ll also try and see if I’ll be able to hold my breath for over 2 minutes! Now previously I’ve only been able to do this for just over one minute, so we’ll see.

So I wish you the best of luck guys, and make sure to stop by during the week to see some nice vlogging about this challenge.

/Alexander 🙂

Hey guys!

It’s time for a new – old – week challenge focused on breaking old habits and routines and trying new things. It’s about cutting lose from our fixed patterns and “the one and only way” to do things and live our lives. Why? Because once and a while we need breath of fresh air, to be able to look at things in a new perspective. And yes, I know I’m the one that keeps nagging on about how we should implement habits and routines and how that’s the key to long-term sustainable success – and I still firmly believe so.

But even the good things we’ve built up, doesn’t harm to take a break from once and a while. Because I am not telling you to throw it all a side for ever –  no! This is just one week where we pledge to do things a bit differently. To allow ourselves – push ourselves – to try new things, or to maybe just realise how good some of those things we do on a regular basis really are for you, and hence we’ll appreciate them even more after this little “vacation”. So – it’s a win win!

So the objective of this week is super simple – just try to swap out as much as possible from your regular life during this week! This could for instance mean:

• Listen to new music; the last time I did this challenge I discovered loads of new musicians in genres I’ve never would have considered listen to otherwise!
• Try out new ways of training; group training, outdoors training, new sports, or maybe pause your training in favour for some long nice walks!
• Mix up your eating habits – try new things, try vegan, try meat, try something you’ve never had before! Be bald, be
• Buy some new clothes, or look through the wardrobe and use some of those things that has been forgotten about! The same goes for your shoes, jackets, hats, gloves – all of it!
• Try a new haircut, try and old haircut, try a new makeup (not for me though)
• Do something fun after work/school; go see a play, concert, go to the cinema or an art gallery – look through what’s going on in your city right now!
• Hang out with a friend(s) you haven’t seen in a while or go try find a new friend! A call to a person you haven’t spoken to in a while could make your day!
• Do something unexpected and push yourself out of your comfort zone – talk to some random people on the street or maybe ask a person out for a date or use tinder to find a date!

So that’s it – super fun, right? This is actually the second time we do this challenge, last time was sixteen week’s ago and you can find the text here: http://alexandernilsson.nu/trying-out-new-things-breaking-old-habits-weekly-challenge-30/ and the video playlist from that week here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxw2jMXwRfsnr__90INYqasDxNAReVtHd

5 days of changing things up – you can do it!

See you in the week for some vlogging or Friday for the live evaluation! Where we also do an INDIVIDUAL evaluation on our own – looking through and evaluating our goal progression for the week that has been.

/Alexander 🙂

Press the image if you want to see the video!

Hey guys! How are your EMOTIONS doing this beautiful day?

It’s time for yet another challenge in the line of INCREASING OUR Self-awareness – the fourth week with this theme – and this time daily awareness is the focus! With the help of a structured action plan throughout the day, we’ll try to improve our self-observation ability.

But Alex, Isn’t time to stop this madness – mindfulness, meditation, new age-hippie b.s to stop?

Well, no. At least not quite yet, because we have one week left with this intensified aimed focus, at least under the current title. But more on that later in the week.

WHY?

First of – let us remind ourselves why we are pursuing an increased self-awareness. I’ve been doing this channel for almost a year, and it’s quite frankly been a bit too random “oh what am I in the mood for this week?”. But this year I decided to take on this joint personal development challenge on a more serious note, so I asked myself the question; “where does one begin when wanting to become the best version of oneself?” Well the answer was obvious; “within”. We have to start with building a solid foundation for ourselves, getting clarity in who we are right now – accepting our current state – and then decide who we want to become -> direction and motivation. And so logically, self-awareness is the first necessary step on this lifelong personal development journey.

 “conscious knowledge of one’s own character and feelings.” –  self-awareness

My story

You See, I’ve always been the person in the opposite spectre of mindful, always so devoted to keep my self-occupied with stuff, always being productive or entertained. The thought of being alone in my own head; what a waste, pain, torture, kill me now. And I’m still battling this; wanting to maximize my time every minute I’m awake. So when we start to talk about awareness and mindfulness, it doesn’t come easy for me. And not for you either I can imagine? But we can’t live our lives on 100% capacity all the time, it’s not “lean” thinking, as any Toyota strategist would have noted. It will cause for errors, ques and bottlenecks; reactive thinking that will do more harm than good. And that’s what I’ve come to realise, and that’s why this is a necessary step in our personal development journey, to invest time and energy within. For real. A step I avoided for years before starting…

Emotions vs. Feelings

“Emotions play out in the theater of the body. Feelings play out in the theater of the mind.”

But before I get into the details of this week’s challenge, I want to clarify the connection between the self-awareness and awareness and why they are so closely intertwined. Why you can’t reach full self-awareness if you don’t increase your ability to be aware in your everyday life.

We first need to understand, and I can’t believe I haven’t explained this earlier, the difference between feelings and emotions, which will simplify the terminology when talking about awareness and how to go about it. For this I’m simply going to borrow Debbie Hamptons (2015) own words and let her describe it (Yes, I’m hungry) :

Emotions:

“Emotions are lower level responses occurring in the subcortical regions of the brain, the amygdala and the ventromedial prefrontal cortices, creating  biochemical reactions in your body altering your physical state. They originally helped our species survive by producing quick reactions to threat, reward, and everything in between in their environments. Emotional reactions are coded in our genes and while they do vary slightly individually and depending on circumstances, are generally universally similar across all humans and even other species. For example, you smile and your dog wags its tail.

The amygdala play a role in emotional arousal and regulate the release of neurotransmitters essential for memory consolidation which is why emotional memories can be so much stronger and longer-lasting. Emotions proceed feelings, are physical, and instinctual. Because they are physical, they can be objectively measured by blood flow, brain activity, facial micro-expressions, and body language.”

Feelings:

Feelings originate in the neocortical regions of the brain, are mental associations and reactions to emotions, and are subjective being influenced by personal experience, beliefs, and memories. A feeling is the mental portrayal of what is going on in your body when you have an emotion and is the byproduct of your brain perceiving and assigning meaning to the emotion.  Feelings are the next thing that happens after having an emotion, involve cognitive input, usually subconscious, and cannot be measured precisely.”

I also found a nice picture that describes the different emotions we can have:

By Machine Elf 1735 (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

So, again, how does awareness and self-awareness relate to one and other?

Well, if we first look at the first week, when we were supposed to outline our strengths and weaknesses; the things that makes us feel alive and easily get us into a state of flow, and the later the opposite. You could have quantifiable good results in an area you don’t enjoy – then that’s not necessarily something you need or should pursue. But most likely, you’re good at that one thing because it entails an ability of yours that you might use in a more enjoyable way in a different context. It’s about honing in on what your naturally good at, because logic reason and studies find that we will live a better and happier life then!

We are aware of most of the things we enjoy doing, we have made the connection between a specific type of activity and the feelings and emotions it has created within us. We maybe haven’t thought about it all the times, but if you would have looked for the signs, they would have been there. This is a what you could blame a lower state of awareness for, because if you had paused your life to reach a higher state of awareness, those emotions could have been interpret and verbalised in your mind to more accurate thoughts and feelings. However, when it’s very strong emotions, they translate to strong feelings that are hard to miss. This is also why we in the first week asked for other people’s options about our strengths and weaknesses – we sometimes go blind to the things that should be so obvious to us.

But so by becoming better at being present and aware, we become better at listening to our natural response – unfiltered emotions which are not manipulated by our mind; our biases and lies we keep telling ourselves to protect our self-image. To interpret our true response in different situations and contexts gives us guidance and direction for what serves us and what does not. If we become self-aware of what activates and doings that truly serves us, makes us feel alive, then we then have the clarity to make change.  Our true voice can once again be heard – as it was when we were new-borns.

However, awareness itself is only half the battle, you then have to translate this to action. But it’s not until you have reach that state of self-awareness, that action will follow. When you have a clear mirror image – clearer – of who you are, you can start that change process of becoming the person you truly want to be. Filling in that delta between who you are, and who you want to be.

So am I suggesting you shouldn’t be happy with who you are? I’m happy with who I am, but I also now I have the potential to grow so much more, to live an even greater life – and that’s the journey I will enjoy taking, because it means I over time incrementally will grow every day, and so the journey becomes part of the result; if you constantly live a life where the end goal is the only way to be happy; you’ll never get what you truly seek.

Back to the topic, so we all do this through life, translate our emotions to feelings and thoughts, and have always been doing so. But our sensitivity scale is just so bad in comparison to its capacity! It’s like we have super high definition TV’s, but the signal we receive is just too bad for us to show any high resolution video, its blurry and bad. But if we increase the signal strength and start to transmit… Well I think you get the pictureJ.

So what I’m trying to get at is that when we practice awareness and self-observation, it will in fact translate to a heightened self-awareness which has the potential to change your life. Some even say that awareness itself is curative, because you won’t allow yourself to go in living the life you are when you become truly aware. And I really believe in that too.  So I’m determined we need to start listening to our internal radar in a much greater extend, which in today’s society is going in totally wrong direction with everybody keeping themselves entrained 24/7 – guilty as charged.

If we don’t take the time to feel and accept that we’re not living the life we should, how can change happen? It’s not until we accept our current state, that we can start to ask the right questions, which we then can begin the journey to find the right answers to.

SO HOW WILL WE WORK TO INCREASE OUR AWARENESS, SO WE CAN INCREASE OUR SELF-AWARENESS?
Simple! This week’s challenge will boil down do a nice combination of all the previous challenges!

The Objectives:

Main Objective: Daily awareness – practical application

To once an hour just paus your life for ten seconds and tune in on how your feeling – TEN SECONDS – do you feel stressed, hungry, joy; etc. I don’t say that you should manipulate your state. Just take in and observe – try to be aware! As I’ve mentioned in previous videos, distinguish between thinking and awareness, and remember what I said about feelings vs. emotions.

Now my watch beeps every whole hour, so that’s my que for checking in on myself. If that’s hard for you to arrange, chose a repetitive moment in your day that could work as your que; when you got to the bathroom, when you eat, when you sit down, when you walk through a door post. Just make sure to decide on ONE thing so you actually do it, and then it doesn’t hurt if you get some bonus awaerens in there as wellJ.

Secondary#1: (don’t want the weekly challenges to be overwhelming – less is more than nothing.)

Take some notes and journal about your observation, this so you can look back at the end of the week to reflect and recognize patterns. How often did you feel alive, fulfilled, like you did the things that really means something to you! Or are you a train wreck all the time? This is important, it’s observations like these that can awaken us from the lies we keep telling ourselves. It’s hard to lie to ourselves when it’s “data” presented to us; reading your own words that says that you felt like shit every day for a week.

Secondary#2: Meditation – “The gym exercise”

Do some daily meditation for at least 5 minutes – just trying to be aware and listen to your emotions. But don’t force emptiness, if thoughts pop up, let them pop up. Happens for me 99,9% of the time. But it’s still really nice, and sometimes not. But the meditation can be seen as the GYM practice that prepares you for the awareness in your everyday life!

If you want more info on this look at last week’s challenge http://alexandernilsson.nu/increasing-self-awareness-with-meditation/ )

So that’s this week’s challenge, don’t let it overwhelm you, start with little if that feels better. I know we don’t do things at all when it seems like too much of an effort. ESPECIOULLY on this topic, when you have a hard time grasping the benefits. Because it’s often not until one has started to feel some of the juicy stuff that I’ll bring, one will find the time and motivation to do this, which makes it a bit problematic. So hope you feel motivated!!

Make sure to subscribe and like IF you like what I’m doing, otherwise, don’tJ.

Have a great day, and remember to watch the weekly LIVE STREAM at Friday 17.00 (Swedish time)! There, as always, will I first do a weekly evaluation, and then in the second part of the video have an individual goal evaluation & planning session; looking back at the week and evaluate how we’ve been progressing on our goals, course correct if necessary, but also plan for the week that will come.

My name is Alexander Nilsson, thank you for reading,

Bye guys

(1) Hampton, D. (2015) What’s the difference between feelings and emotions? Available at: http://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/whats-the-difference-between-feelings-and-emotions/ (Accessed: 30 January 2017).

(2) Wikipedia (2011) File: Plutchik-wheel.Svg – Wikimedia commons. Available at: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=13285286 (Accessed: 30 January 2017).

The video: