Routine #1 –  Daily Fear Facing

– Present at the company conference in Croatia

SO FINALLY, THE TIME HAD COME! The moment I’d feared for so long. SO LONG. Talking in front of a bunch of people at the company conference.  The last time I did some kind of presentation longer than 5 minutes was like 4 years ago. And even then there were two of us. Now I’d been asked to do a 40-ish minute presentation, one time in Swedish and one time in English. First session around 80 people, second 40-ish. A bunch is a relative measurement;).

It’s been hanging over me like 5000 kgs of chashewes ever since I got to know about this in the middle of June. But at the same time, I knew I had to do it, I had identified this fear that really aligned with my goals and values in terms of where I want to go in life. There was no question about. Yet, I hadn’t done any real public speaking in such a long time, so it kind of… No. Not kind of. It really scared the crap out of me. BUT, through tons of practice and preparation and grounding myself in my goals, I’ve kept myself motivated, and I’ve also in some twisted way really have been looking forward to doing it.

And so today, this morning at 8.30. It all started. The Climax point of this journey.

I for sure was really nervous. But filled with fear – EXCITEMENT – I started. And I continued. And I delivered. Certainly had some moments where I blanked out and got off track, but I managed to control the fear and get back up there in a playful way. It wasn’t me versus them, It was a shared experience. Most of the time I stayed in a state of flow, I dared to act out and bring the energy in an authentic way. Laughter and engagement.

The two sessions felt so different, I shared different stories and had different reactions. But I did have very nice reactions after both my presentations. People coming up to talk to me, sharing their stories and how they could relate. Some were really moved. And that in termed moved me deeply. Only those reactions in itself made it all so worth it. So worth it.

All this led to the most intense incredible feeling of proudness ever when it comes to fears I’ve met. And it got me hungry for more. As always. That’s some of the power of active fear facing. The kick – it’s addictive.

Now, the idea was that I was supposed to record this and put it out on My YouTube channel tomorrow… However… Se My daily fail.

Routine #2 – New thing:

– What’s not??

This whole 4-day trip is all filled to the limit with new experiences and doings. That’s what’s so good about getting away for a weekend or longer vacations on a regular basis. To shake your stale thought pattern and thinking up. Throw it all out and at least temporary reset the system. Meeting new people, pausing from some of your routines and the usual way of life without even having to work for the change. It’s just there.

Today we visited the old town of Dubrovnik and had a big company team challenge. So much fun. So many beautiful environments and scenery to take in. And bonding in the essence of true team spirit. Awesome day. awesome.

Routine #3 – Daily Fail:

– Recording the presentation 

BIG FAIL. BIG. The hour leading up to my presentation, I miscalculated my and ended up doing some last minute changes in my material and such that I forgot to hook up my audio recording gear properly. Oh it hurts. I so badly wanted a good recording of this. Well, next time, I’ll think back of this moment and not do that mistake again.

…

OKAY, that’s hit for now. Need to SUIT up for the big evening gala dinner. It’s going to be nice. My only worries are that my body, now when the tension has been released, allows itself to get sick. My brother had some shit going all of last week, and I can feel something crawling withing now. Fingers crossed.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facers,

/Alex

I’m lying in my bed, processing today fail, literally,  while preparing to go to sleep. Tomorrow morning it happens. The two presentations I’ve feared for so long now. Need the sleep. But today for sure didn’t go by without some fear facing. A lot of identified social dear situations I actively pushed myself to go do. Really nice day, despite my litle, fail here at the end. Tell you about it tomorrow, 

sleep tight, fear facer.

Balcony view from my room

Yo, what’s up?

Out there facing some fears, are you? Me? Been spending my first day here in Croatia. In my room. It’s a good thing I’ve got a nice view from my balcony! I’ve been prepping for my Saturday presentation. It’s basically standing in the fear constantly right now. It’s been a lot of talk about this presentation for some time, but it’s the only thing occupying my mind so… But it’s fun too, I know it’s going to be good in the end. Or at least I’ll be proud as heck for doing this!

I did, however, seek out a fear, got a bit comfortable in my room so I went downstairs to find some friends to have dinner with. Yes, it’s a fear of mine to go socialize. It’s an active thing I need to push myself to, especially when introverted me as has been caught up in my own bubble. Ended up having one of my best meals with two amazing persons.

Tomorrow the conference begins, it’s going to be intense and exhausting. But also fun. HOping I’ll be able to squeeze in some more practice time, I for sure would need it.

Now, sleepy time. Early bird tomorrow to go for a run in new terrain! speaking of new things, basically, everything has been a new experience today. So that routine quote is for sure filled!

When it comes to the fail part, well, I forgot my phone in the aeroplane seat. Luckily I realised this just after walking off the plane and was able to run back and get it. Learning – Know where you put your things!

See you tomorrow, Fear facer

/Alex

What’s up Fear facer!

No long post today, no! Need to pack, leaving town 04.00 tomorrow morning.  Flying to Croatia for an all weekend conference trip! It’s going to be really nice! …As soon as I’ve done my 2×45 min presentations. Or conversations as i prefer to call them:)

Routine #3 –  Daily Fear Facing

– what could I do, what could I do…

Social interactions. Several occasions at work today where I pushed myself to go socialize, even though  I didn’t want to!

Routine #2 – New thing:

– Opps

Forgot about this one today! Fortunately, the whole weekend is going to be overwhelming with new things and impression, so I think I’ll be alright:)

Routine #3 – Daily Fail:

– presentation

My planning… I’m still working on my presentation, haven’t got the powerpoint and the material done. Deadline for this was a week ago! BIG LEARNING – Prepare better and earlier.  Easier said than done, but it hurts now, and that’s always a good sign for remembering something!

What fears are you facing tomorrow?

🙂

/Alex

Routine #3 –  Daily Fear Facing

– what could I do, what could I do…

I’ve been so up in my own world the whole day, thinking about the theory of fears, that I actually didn’t get down to facing any! UNitll I had to run out just no to return a book. One of those days where a low hanging fruit is okay. So much stuff going on. Decided to interact with some stranger. one past after the other. Couldn’t seem to find the opportunity, the right opportunity. 100 meters left until I was back home again. Walked past a girl, upper 20’s . She had a really cool style, unique jacket, cool glasses and colours that popped yet matched in a way that really spoke to me. I past her. I PAST HER. No Alex, no. I stopped. Turned back and without hesitation approached told her just that. She smiled and was happy. Seemed happy. I was happy. Daily fear facing – check.

Routine #2 – New thing:

– a banana for you my friend 

As a result of a great TED-talk I saw the other week, I’ve been trying to get some random acts of kindness in daily. Mostly around the home concerning my brother. But as I was walking home with a backpack filled with bananas after a quick grocery store pit stop, an opportunity emerged. Walked by a homeless man. Instinctively the idea popped up. Stopped. Gave him a banana. Nothing special. But the warm smile that man gave me just filled me up.  Top moment of the day. It’s about the small things.

Routine #3 – Daily Fail:

– presentation

Thought I had it in order by now.  Did a practice run. Failed it. Still so many doubts about what should go in the presentation. 45 min is a long time to talk. But the fail made me go through yet another iteration process.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

Yo – what’s up Fear Facer?

New Week, new opportunities to face some fears and grow some.

Yesterday’s Fear Facing, video down below. For sure was a great fail experience. It made me realize how confused I was about some pieces of the content.  Speaking it all out loud in one session, without allowing myself to constantly stop and correct small stuff, was so insightful.

Routine #3 –  Daily Fear Facing

– Unsocial going social

This weekend was a bit special, was so focused on sitting inside writing all weekend. No real socializing beside my public speaking practice. And, to be frank, that whole thing shook me up some. I felt like I had so so much left to work on before being able to pull it off.  Which put me in a bit of a downer mood. Also, my acne coincidently started blowing up like I just turned 15 again.

Walking into the office this morning I felt like I didn’t want to be there. I just wanted to go home again. To be left alone. I was afraid to interact because I felt I couldn’t do it. Insecure.

BUT I quickly realized this was emotions of fear that crippled me. After pinpointing this, I knew there was only one thing to do. Face those fears. Own it. Go be social. Prove yourself wrong. So I did., I sought out opportunities and I threw myself into them. And even though it was a  bit of a rocky start, rather quickly I was back on track. And it totally changed my mood. Looking back at the day, I can now say It was a really good one. Both in terms of connecting with people, as well as improving my presentation and confidence to my presentation.

Routine #2 – New thing:

My daily new thing habit is to force myself to not get stuck in old habits and routines, stagnating my thought patterns. Look up joe Dispenza for more on this! Just like with the fear facing thing, it’s about keeping the habit going. Doesn’t always have to be big things!

– Tried a new tea flavour.  

Yeah, that’s about what happened. Really nice one though;). chamomile honey and some more. Yoggi eco herbal tea.

Routine #3 – Daily Fail:

I had an uncomfortable email looking at me in my inbox today. I neglected to face my fears of dealing with it. Took me 3 hours until I finally did. But trying to put the lid on things like these only – subconsciously & consciously  – drains us on energy. I should have faced that fear head on straight away. Wasted some energy, but learnt from the experience and hopefully next time I will deal with it sooner.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

Routine #3 –  Daily Fear Facing

– Let’s take it public

Sunday. I really don’t want to do what I’m about to write. The only reason I spontaneously opened up a new blog post right now is because I need the power of social commitment pushing me. I’m preparing for my presentation next Saturday, or “conversation” as I’d prefer to call it. But I have this idea of going out to practice at a public little stage in the park nearby. That would really put me in a good practice environment. But also, that’s f*ckning scary. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it. But… BUT, I dare my self. Fear challenge accepted. I’m going for it. That’s the daily fear facing action, and it’s going to happen.

Gotdamn routine and stupid me.

☐ Go out to the park and practice public speaking.

4 Hours later. Back home. Haha…  I did it.  I F*cking did it. But it really, really, really was a push for me. Haven’t felt this anxious or worrisome or nervouse before doing something in I don’t know how long.

Details? You’ll just have to watch the video yourself to find out.

Routine #2 –  Do something New

– Well, haven’t done public speaking in ages, so that counts as today’s new thing!

Routine #3 – Fail of the day

– I for sure wasn’t smooth through my practice run. Failure is one word to describe it.  but it gave me soo much insight on how to tweak it. So a VITAL fail for my improvement.

08,00: Saturday morning. Been procrastinating for an hour now. I really need to work on my presentation. My Little brother is building himself a new computer just next to me, and my all over the place hungry brain now wants to do that too. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TODAY: I KNOW WHAT I MUST FOCUS ON. I NEED TO DARE MYSELF, TO PUT UP A FEAR CHALLENGE IF THIS IS GOING TO WORK. AND I NEED TO PUT IT OUT HERE TO UTILIZE THE POWER OF SOCIAL COMMITMENT TOO.

– The Fear Dare

Free from all kinds of internet and social media until 18.00 this evening. Unless it’s critical to move forward on my presentation. No, this is not a lope whole. Let’s f*ucking do this.

Also, would you be interested in an EMail notification/news letter every time I post?

Routine #1 – Daily fear facing:

– Live Fear

Live stream at my YouTube channel. Doing a live stream is always a bit scary to me, even though I’ve done it so many times. Although this time I have to say I was rather looking forward to doing it. Been thinking so much about how to present myself lately since I’m doing my big presentation next week at our work conference in Croatia. To some extent, I feel more anxiety about it than ever since It’s still a bit fuzzy and only a week away. But another part of me is looking forward to it like heck. I know I enjoy standing in front of a crowd if I’m confident in the message I want to deliver. I’ll get there.

Because of all this, lately, I’ve been watching a whole lot of talks for inspiration. I came across two of my favourite Ted-talks that has impacted me. Both talks are hilarious and worth watching only if you want a good laugh. But they do carry great take away as well.

The first one is one the incredible power and importance of deadlines, especially for personal/creative projects.

The second one, well I’ll share that one tomorrow ?.

I’m going down to buy some food NOW, and I will be addressing some stranger. Not quite in the mood for it, but it’ll be worth it. Historic events at least favourite that outcome.

Routine #2 – Doing something New

– Early Birdy

I’m going to go to bed 22.30 the latest a Friday evening! I’m going to do the same repetitive habit each morning before my talk. Early evening, early morning. Then have myself a practice run with my presentation!

– Snack Hack

I’m going to find something new in the grocery store and try that out for the evening treat!

Routine #3 – The Daily Fail ( New one ! )

Failing is great. That’s the mindset I need to live by, hence I’m going to make sure I fail every day!

– Being sloppy

I had a colleague call me about a post I had done for my company. It had a spelling mistake. Embarrassing. Perfectly human. The thing is, I had done it twice. That’s just sloppy. Taught me to read it through more carefully the next time.

See you tomorrow, Fear Facer,

/Alex

07:39: Hahah…. Once again I can’t help not laughing myself into a blog post. It’s when I  surprise myself like this I can’t hold my feelings back. Starting the day off in just the right way.

– Treadmill dare

Yeah, nothing big or fancy. Woke up at 05.00. Worked for an hour. Went down for an easy walk. Was gonna read some. Then again… The idea of challenging myself for the same run I did a week ago popped up. And once it was out there… Well:).

So I did. 5 km as fast as I Could. Not going below 13 km/h. GOT DAMN IT WAS AWFUL. I just wanted to quit from the moment I started. Or well I also got so psyched and pumped that if a cocktail of mixed emotions. Dopamine. Adrenaline. Joy, pain, fear of enduring this for any loner, fear of letting myself down. I listened to some motivational Youtube videos that for sure helpt pumping me up. But I did it. I f*cking did it.  22:46 is the time to beat. Assuming the treadmill is measuring the distance right.

Now the time in itself doesn’t mean shit. It’s how I FELT pushing through that matters. This is always on an individual level.

BUT, the BONUS FEAR action that came as a result of my joy trip came when I went outside the gym. The first person I met, just like the other week, I stopped. It was a woman in her 30’s walking with earphones lost in her own world.

“excuse me”

I said, and she stoped and took her earphones out

“Can i just wish you a great day”

I said with a huge grin.

“haha, sure”

She responded and smiled back.

That was the start of my awesome day. And even though I know it’s going to continue being a great one, if, just IF it happens to turns shitty. I’m still going to remember this as a good one.

Whish you all a great uncomfortable day, Fear Facers,

/Alex