How to be Assertive – One of the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem – WC#70

Hey You, and welcome to the Weekly Challenge no. 70! This video has its sole purpose to help you understand how to be more Assertive which will lead to an increased self-esteem! BUT that will only happen trough taking action on your part, and that’s why – as always – this week entails some actions, see description further down.

A quick reminder of how the structure on my channel works – personal development is my thing, and by sharing my journey I want to help you make an as effective journey as well. I want us to grow together because an awakening journey like the one may be absolutely wonderful, but it’s also really shitty at times – In the really short term perspective it sucks to be frank – but long-term, the benefits are too good to neglect. But that also why one needs to have trust in the process, because the results may not come straight away. Because when you’re not allowing yourself to cover up the harsh reality with external sources of entertainment or focus steeling activity – which is a necessity to deal with what needs to be dealt with – you are bond to some uncomfortableness. But that’s also part of the beauty – you learn the connection between the incredible feeling of growth and success and doing the hard stuff. Your brains starts to see the connection more clearly and the priceless habit loop starts to shape.

Healthy self-esteem asks that we leap into the arena that we be willing to get our hands dirty.”

(Branden, The Six Pillars of self-Esteem,1995, p.123)

In practicality, this means I’m all about building self-esteem mainly through the book the six pillars of self-esteem written by Nathaniel Branden. It’s a tremendous hands on guide in how grow that solid self-esteem, and that’s why I’ve given it so much focus here on my channel, going through one pillar at the time. Every other week that is, because I always to rejection therapy challenges where I apply what I learned and go out there and practice some true self-esteem building action. Check out my playlist further down to watch some of those videos.

But so this week is – for the second time – all about being more assertive. It’s the most direct action you can take in order to grow your self-esteem as you’ll see and feel the result of it directly! Let’s hear what Nathaniel Branden himself has to say about it: –

“Self-assertiveness means honoring my wants, needs, and values and seeking appropriate forms of their expression in reality.

Its opposite is that surrender to timidity that consists of consigning myself to a perpetual underground where everything that I am lies hidden or stillborn-to avoid confrontation with someone whose values differ from mine, or to please, placate, or manipulate someone, or simply to “belong.”.

Self-assertion does not mean belligerence or inappropriate aggressiveness; it does not mean pushing to the front of the line or knocking other people over; it does not mean upholding my own rights while being blind or indifferent to everyone else’s. It simply means the willingness to stand up for myself, to be who I am openly, to treat myself with respect in all human encounters. It means the refusal to fake my person to be liked.”.  (Branden, The Six Pillars of self-Esteem,1995, p.118)

The Objectives

#1 – Put on a rubber band around your wrist, and smack yourself with it every time you’re about to go into a social interaction – speak with clarity, try to communicate effectively, stand for your values believes and goals and be the person you truly want to be! Do that Monday through Friday and you’ll experience a tremendous feeling of growth!

#2 sentence completion exercises (I didn’t mention this in the video, but it’s always an option and a recommendation from the book)

“Sentence Completions to Facilitate Self-Assertiveness
Here are sentence stems that can facilitate reaching a deeper understanding
of self-assertiveness, as well as energizing its practice.


If I brought more awareness to my deepest needs and wants

When I ignore my deepest yearnings-

If I were willing to say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no-

If I were willing to voice my thoughts and opinions more often-

And on the weekend. after rereading the week’s stems, write six to ten endings for If any of what I have been writing is true, it might be helpful if I-.
Of course there are other ways to work with these stems. In my self-esteem groups, for instance, we might work with all the stems on this list in one three-hour session, speaking our endings aloud, then discussing our endings and their action-implications”

Good luck, and if there are any questions, write them in the comments and I’ll get back to you!

The Audiobook read by Nathaniel Branden (It starts on this chapter “The practice of Self-Assertiveness”):

The first video I did when I had my first weekly challenge with this theme:

A playlist I’ve put together with some videos with the focus on Self-assertiveness:


Watch my previous 9 weeks of Rejection Therapy:

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

Week 5:

Week 6:

Week 7:

Week 8:

Week 9:


Music in the video:

“Acoustic guitar arrangement for song 3”, “Acoustic guitar arrangement for song 2” and “Acoustic guitar arrangement for song” by TRow is licensed under a  Creative Commons License.

License: ;

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