In this video I’ll go through the basics concept for why purposeful living is tremendously important. We look at it from the perspective of building self-esteem, as that is the overall long-term goal. That means The Six pillars of self-esteem is what are the basis for most of the thoughts expressed in the video.
So, can you start with this pillar? Sure you can to get going but, because you’re not starting at zero. So of course, will you improve your self-esteem id if you do this challenge. But all I can say is that if you want to make a true self-esteem building journey, you can’t stress it and every pillar needs its attention. Take the time to go through one pillar each week, as that is what I’ve done and I can vouch for the result of doing so – it will transform your life. So please join me this week, even if this is your first meeting with me or with this book.
In the video I’m not going to go through all the details from the book, instead I focus in on what I made out the core message from this pillar to be. That is; having a clear purpose and direction in life, and making sure that you are working in an effective way to take you there; to have a vison broken down to smaller more attainable goals and to regular evaluate yourself to make sure you are progressing in an effective manner; course correcting and tweaking if necessary.
But, if you want some more details from the book, the following text presents my favourite passages from the chapter The Practice of Living Purposefully in the book The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem (1995, P. 129-142 ).
“Living purposefully is a fundamental orientation that applies to every aspect of our existence. It means that we live and act by intention. It is a distinguishing characteristic of those who enjoy a high level of control over their life.”
“To live purposefully is to use our powers for the attainment of goals we have selected: the goal of studying, of raising a family, of earning a living, of starting a new business, of bringing a new product into the marketplace, of solving a scientific problem, of building a vacation home, of sustaining a happy romantic relationship. It is our goals that lead us forward, that call on the exercise of our faculties, that energize our existence.”
“What living Purposefully Entails as a way of operating in the world, the practice of living purposefully entails the following core issues. Taking responsibility for formulating one’s goals and purposes consciously. Being concerned to identify the actions necessary to achieve one’s goals. Monitoring behaviour to check that it is in alignment with one’s goals. Paying attention to the outcomes of one’s actions, to know whether they are leading where one wants to go.”
“To observe that the practice of living purposefully is essential to fully realized self-esteem should not be understood to mean that the measure of an individual’s worth is his or her external achievements. We sadmire achievements-in others and in ourselves-and it is natural and appropriate for us to do so. But this is not the same thing as saying that our achievements are the measure or grounds of our self-esteem. The root of our self-esteem is not our achievements but those internally generated practices that, among other things, make it possible for us to achieve–all the self-esteem virtues we are discussing here.”
“To live purposefully is to use our powers for the attainment of goals we have selected”
Productivity & Purpose
“To live purposefully is, among other things, to live productively, which is a necessity of making ourselves competent to life. Productivity is the act of supporting our existence by translating ‘our thoughts into reality, of setting our goals and working for their achievement, of bringing knowledge, goods, or services into existence.”
“Nor is it the kind of work selected that is important, provided the work is not intrinsically antilife, but whether a person seeks work that offers an outlet for his or her intelligence, if the opportunity to do so exists.”
“Purposeful men and women set productive goals commensurate with their abilities, or try to. One of the ways their self-concept reveals itself is in the kind of purposes they set. Granted some deciphering may be necessary because of the complexities of private contexts, if we know the kind of goals people choose, we can know a good deal about their vision of themselves and about what they think is possible and appropriate to them.”
Efficacy and Purpose
“It is easier for people to understand these ideas as applied to work than to personal relationships. That may be why more people make a success of their work life than of their marriages.”
“The purposes that move us need to be specific if they are to be realized. I cannot organize my behavior optimally if my goal is merely “to do my best.” The assignment is too vague. My goal needs to be: to exercise on the treadmill for thirty minutes four times a week; to complete my (precisely defined) task within ten days; to communicate to my team at our next meeting exactly what the project requires; to earn a specific sum of money in commissions by the end of the year; to achieve a specific market niche by a specific means by a specific target date. With such specificity, I am able to monitor my progress, compare intentions with results, modify my strategy or my tactics in response to new information, and be accountable for the results I produce.
To live purposefully is to be concerned with these questions: What am I trying to achieve? How am I trying to achieve it? Why do I think these means are appropriate? Does the feedback from the environment convey that I am succeeding or failing? Is there new information that I need to consider? Do I need to make adjustments in my course, or in my strategy, or in my practices? Do my goals and purposes need to be rethought? Thus, to live purposefully means to live at a high level of consciousness.”
“To live purposefully and productively requires that we cultivate within ourselves a capacity for self-discipline. Self-discipline is the ability to organize our behavior over time in the service of specific tasks. No one can feel competent to cope with the challenges of life who is without the capacity for self-discipline. Self-discipline requires the ability to defer immediate gratification in the service of a remote goal. This is the ability to project consequences into the future-to think, plan, and live long-range. Neither an individual nor a business can function effectively, let alone flourish, in the absence of this practice.”
- “Taking responsibility for formulating one’s goals and purposes consciously. If we are to be in control of our own life, we need to know what we want and where we wish to go. We need to be concerned with such questions as: What do I want for myself in five, ten, twenty years? What do I want my life to add up to? What do I want to accomplish professionally? What do I want in the area of personal relationships? If I wish to marry, why? What is my purpose?“
- “Being concerned to identify the actions necessary to achieve ones Goals”
- “Monitoring behavior to check that it is in alignment with one’s goals”
- “Paying attention to the outcomes of one’s actions, to know whether they are leading where one wants to go.”
- “The root of our self-esteem is not our achievements but those internally generated practices that, among other things, make it possible for us to achieve.”
OBJECTIVE#1 – Sentence completion exercise
o These are meant to be done, morning and evening, writing at least 6 sentences per stem-sentence, choose at least 4 sentences to complete morning and evening. You may feel some resistance to do it (that has been my own experience from the previous pillars) but every time it has awaken a focus and an awareness around the topic which has followed me throughout the days. So just find a time and a place when you decide to do this, it won’t happen if you don’t plan and schedule it. For me the train commute to/from work or the bike warm up on the gym has been the time and place for it to happen.
Sentence-Completions to Facilitate Living Purposefully
“Here are some stems that my clients find helpful in deepening their understanding of the ideas we have been discussing.
Living purposefully to me means-
If I bring 5 percent more purposefulness to my life today-
If I operate with 5 percent more purposefulness at work-
If I am 5 percent more purposeful in my communications-
If I bring 5 percent more purposefulness to my relationships at work-
If I operate 5 percent more purposefully in my marriage-
If I operate 5 percent more purposefully with my children-
If I operate 5 percent more purposefully with my friends-
If I am 5 percent more purposeful about my deepest yearnings-
If I am 5 percent more purposeful about taking care of my needs
If I took more responsibility for fulfilling my wants-
If any of what I have been writing is true, it might be helpful if I-“
– P.143, Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.
OBJECTIVE#2 – Goalsetting
Sit down and try to find one area to start focusing in on, too much at once and you’ll get overwhelmed. Actually it is a big topic, and I’ve done extensive weekly challenges on this topic before. But so for this week, just find one area and start there! For instance, give your health some attention, “I’m going to do at least 30 min of walking or any kind of movement every day”
OBJECTIVE#3 Working productively (establishing habits)
OBJECTIVE#4 – DO A WEEKL REVIEW
OBJECTIVE#5 – Track your week in a journal – log, reflect and empty your mind
Link to full audiobook, it’ll start where this chapter starts: https://youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY?t=1h54m14s
PRODUCTIVITY Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxw2jMXwRfsl1cvqFBFEdyJE6lWNJY00P
My Rejection Therapy Challenges:
Ask Random People for Spanish Phrases – https://youtu.be/SMGvpFH6nHA
Cold approaching and flirting with random girls Part 1 – https://youtu.be/32Z7AI4l0dY
Approach a Girl and ask for a Date Part 2 – https://youtu.be/32Z7AI4l0dY
Approach a Girl and ask for a Date Part 3 – https://youtu.be/xB9gjwOfEaI
Asking Swedish Girls what they look for in a Guy – https://youtu.be/54OHSqgWLZs
My other Rejection Therapy Challenges:
Week 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxEVmwWsaHw
Week 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUTocnY8Mxs
Week 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anw0keWIf-8
Week 4: https://youtu.be/GFHK7O5DrxI?list=PLxw2jMXwRfskSFEl6sI9PzjgMUBZogiGG
Music in this episode:
“Acoustic guitar arrangement for song 3” and “Acoustic guitar arrangement for song 2” by TRow is licensed under a Creative Commons License.