Pillar 6: The Practice of Personal Integrity

This week’s challenge is all about Building Self-Esteem through the lense of PERSONAL INTEGRITY. It is the sixth pillar from the book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem writen by Nathaniel Branden. Every other week I do Rejection Therapy Challenges and in between I go all in on the theoretical part of how to go about building Self-Esteem.

“Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs—and behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity.

Observe that before the issue of integrity can even be raised we need principles of behavior—moral convictions about what is and is not appropriate—judgments about right and wrong action. If we do not yet hold standards, we are on too low a developmental rung even to be accused of hypocrisy. In such a case, our problems are too severe to be described merely as lack of integrity.”

“The practice of personal integrity. It’s the sixth and final pillar of self-esteem. Without it, the preceding practices “disintegrate.”

(Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, 1995)

WHAT DO DO WHEN YOU’VE ACTED IN A BAD WAY:

”Let us think about guilt and how it can be resolved in situations where we are personally responsible. Generally speaking, five steps are needed to restore one’s sense of integrity with regard to a particular breach.”

We must own the fact that it is we who have taken the particular action. We must face and accept the full reality of what we have done, without disowning or avoidance. We own, we accept, we take responsibility.
We seek to understand why we did what we did. We do this compassionately (as discussed under the practice of self-acceptance), but without evasive alibiing.
If others are involved, as they often are, we acknowledge explicitly to the relevant person or persons the harm we have done. We convey our understanding of the consequences of our behavior. We acknowledge how they have been affected by us. We convey understanding of their feelings.
We take any and all actions available that might make amends for or minimize the harm we have done.
We firmly commit ourselves to behaving differently in the future .

(Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, p. 148-149, link to audiobook: https://youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY?t=2h18m25s)

Link to the videos I talk about:

Link to Audiobook The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem – Chapter: the practice of personal integrity: https://youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY?t=2h9m40s

Awareness Alone Is Curative – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKaRQNVrw2w&t=3s

Brene Brown on Shame vs. Guilt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0

The Objectives are:

Besides the obvious of focusing in on trying to be true to your inner self, and acting in congruence with your moral, values and believes, you should do the following sentence exercise morning and evening, Monday through Friday. Also, try practicing meditation along with the daily awareness/mindfulness Lastly, for me it is absolutely key to journal throughout the week so I can reflect and analyse concerning the focus area at hand.

“Sentence Completions to Facilitate the Practice of Integrity

If we examine our lives, we may notice that our practice of integrity exhibits inconsistencies. There are areas here we practice it more and areas where we practice it less. Rather than evade this fact, it is useful to explore it. It is worthwhile to consider: What stands in the way of my practicing integrity in every area of my life? What would happen if I lived my values consistently?

Here are sentence stems that can aid the process of exploration:

Integrity to me means-

If I think about the areas where I find it difficult to practice full integrity-

If I bring a higher level of consciousness to the areas where I find it difficult to practice full integrity-

If I bring 5 percent more integrity into my life-

If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my work-

If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my relationships-

If I remain loyal to the values I truly believe are right-

If I refuse to live by values I do not respect-

If I treat my self-esteem as a high priority-

A suggestion: Work with the first four of these stems for the first week, and the second four the following week.

On the weekends work with the stem: If any of what I am writing is true, it might be helpful if I-.

If you choose to bring a high level of awareness to what you produce, you may discover that living with greater integrity has become more realizable.”

(Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, p. 148-149)

Watch my first 5 weeks of Rejection Therapy I’ve done so far; playlist links below:

Week 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxEVmwWsaHw

Week 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUTocnY8Mxs

Week 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anw0keWIf-8

Week 4: https://youtu.be/GFHK7O5DrxI?list=PLxw2jMXwRfskSFEl6sI9PzjgMUBZogiGG

Week 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od3M1x6UDCs&list=PLxw2jMXwRfsmwkP3SvSSK7cegXB4eutFg

Week 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aGxvi5qw1A&list=PLxw2jMXwRfskKqy6INIjOFJDJI8_jPAE1

MUSIC in this video:

Wings – Acoustic Guitar Background Music by Nicolai Heidlas Music is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

License: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Source: https://soundcloud.com/nicolai-heidlas/wings-acoustic-guitar-background-music