Facing Fears – 20 minutes of building rapport

Hey Guys! It’s time to commit to a new weekly challenge and face those fears of yours, taking control of what’s consciously or sub consciously runs the show. You now that show where you’re the lead star, it’s called YOUR LIFE!

Imagine yourself not FEARLESS, but a fear tamer. Being able to live with fear, embrace fear, utilize it to your advantage. Imagine being able to do exactly what you truly wanted, living the kind of life you want to live. That’s my quest, and that’s what I each day try to work towards, and been doing so actively for a while now. It’s a long journey, but I’m enjoying the heck out of it, and mostly I can feel the daily growth.

Before letting you in on the details, here’s the very basics of what we are supposed to do. First of we think of an area we want to give some extra attention to, then we come up with an action, question/request that we can do that exposes us to rejection/puts us in a state of fear. And then we go do that thing! It’s as simple as that – in theory. Reality is a different story.

Last week I tried the quantity approach – saying Hi to 77 Girls. That failed miserably, although I for sure faced some fears of mine, but just not as many as I wanted to. But what also stroke me, was that it didn’t feel achievable so I almost gave up before starting it! So I thought I’d flip the steak this time and take on the quality approach instead!

The idea is simple, I’m going to have an overall goal of talking to girls for a total amount of 20 minutes. The goal is to develop my social skills and the ability to connect and create rapport with a girl I’m interested in. Can I make it?

Well, I’m hoping so! As always, putting out the challenge is fun and exciting, executing is a different story…

We’ll just have to wait and see to find out and see how it goes!

Commit to med down in the comments if you want some extra pressure to follow through on your objectives, and don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out on the videos I’ll be posting.



A more detail explanation of the Facing Fear Framework works:

The idea of it is very simple, the execution not so much. “Facing fear challenges” means that we are to expose ourselves to a social situation with a specific question, request or action in mind that puts you out of your comfort zone! For instance, approaching a girl, doing some flirting asking for a date.

The great thing with these challenges is that it’s a win win no matter the outcome, as long as we pull the trigger! We put up a goal, and then we go after it and by doing so building self-esteem. So just this very action, approaching, asking the question makes us have our first Victory! That means we need to do things that align with your values beliefs or goals, which is the first out of the two rules we have. Simply living our true selves and going after the things we want in life is the number one action you can take to build self-esteem. TACKING ACTION.

The result is that we desensitize ourselves from getting turned downed, rejected and controlled by our thoughts and emotions. We want to create a new association to the feeling we get inside of us when a scary idea/thought pops up. A new association that makes us think – from eventually more and more experience – that it will be a thrilling, exciting little add to our day, that moves us forward in life!

If you do this over and over again you start to shape a sustainable awesome habit (The Habit Loop).

Because don’t get me wrong, the fear doesn’t disappear, at least not for me, but the fear starts to work as a trigger – a cue – for us that makes our dopamine craving brain shine up like a firework on new year’s eve.  The fear becomes that que that we should start doing our routine – pushing through the fear – so we can get to the reward, that sense of proudness for doing what we sat out to do. An explosion of adrenaline and good feeling hormones.


About the author: alenils

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