Hey guys! Time for a new weekly challenge, and once again it’s time to face our social fears so we can free ourselves from the fear that paralyses us. Holds us down. Hindering us from living the life we want. For me, the area of girls has been the most suffering field, And I’m sick and tired of the fear hindering me from meeting the girls – living the life I want to live – I’ve had it! That’s why I’m on a quest do desensitize myself from these cuffs.
No last time my challenge in this area was to approach seven 7 girls in order to get a date. And that was fun, and I really felt that shifted in to a new world. But I also got some feedback from you guys saying that 7 girls is nothing. One guy actually said he’d approached 100 girls, and 2 of those led to a date.
So that’s why my quest this week is to face 77 fears of mine. Before i tell you what I mean by that, let me refresh you of what we’re doing here and the rules we play by.
The idea of it is very simple, the execution not so much. “Facing fear challenges” means that we are to expose ourselves to a social situation with a specific question, request or action in mind that puts you out of your comfort zone! For instance, approaching a girl, doing some flirting asking for a date.
The great thing with these challenges is that it’s a win win no matter the outcome, as long as we pull the trigger! We put up a goal, and then we go after it and by doing so building self-esteem. So just this very action, approaching, asking the question makes us have our first Victory! That means we need to do things that align with your values beliefs or goals, which is the first out of the two rules we have. Simply living our true selves and going after the things we want in life is the number one action you can take to build self-esteem. TACKING ACTION.
The result is that we desensitize ourselves from getting turned downed, rejected and controlled by our thoughts and emotions. We want to create a new association to the feeling we get inside of us when a scary idea/thought pops up. A new association that makes us think – from eventually more and more experience – that it will be a thrilling, exciting little add to our day, that moves us forward in life!
If you do this over and over again you start to shape a sustainable awesome habit (The Habit Loop).
Because don’t get me wrong, the fear doesn’t disappear, at least not for me, but the fear starts to work as a trigger – a cue – for us that makes our dopamine craving brain shine up like a firework on new year’s eve. The fear becomes that que that we should start doing our routine – pushing through the fear – so we can get to the reward, that sense of proudness for doing what we sat out to do. An explosion of adrenaline and good feeling hormones.
Monday through Friday do at least one daily social push. You can either specify the area or action or you can . Like the relationship area – approaching and flirting with girls. Or any other small social pushes, like starting to talk to people in the grocery store or asking people for the time – it’s up to you! But remember that you should continuously push yourself out of your GROWING comfort zone.
Being unspecified in your challenge means looking for opportunities throughout the day and act when you see one. This requires a higher level of awareness and being alert to the surroundings. I’d say you’ll reach a better outcome if you plan ahead, because then you know what to look for and it’s not as easy to escape into every day happenings. it could for instance be approaching and talking to a person each day.
OR, like I’m going to be doing. Saying hi to 77 girls. Yepp. I’m going to go all in on quantity and not quality, trying to lower the barrier to ignite that first connection with a girl.
1# The action/request/question need to align with your goals, values or beliefs! if you go out and do something just to get rejected, but it interferes with your moral or what you believe in, it will decrease your self-esteem.
#2 You’re not allowed to lie! Own the situation; tell the exact reason for why you’re doing what you’re doing, then try to manipulate your way to a yes. Honesty is key to building self-esteem
So, you decide what level you want to take this to! I’d love to hear your story down there in the comments, and if f you want that extra push, make sure to commit to be, and you’ll think twice before bailing on yourself!
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Artist: Nicolai Heidlas
Title: On And On
Check out my previous 16 weeks of Rejection Therapy / Facing Fear Challenges:
SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge
WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays
FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge
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