Routine #1 – The daily fear facing:
– The Ask
It’s early Sunday morning. Today I’m going to meet up with the girl I approached at the gym yesterday. That’s for sure today’s big fear facing action! However, I just warmed up as I texted her. I had two suggestions for what we could do today. First – go for a nice stroll on Kungsholmen, passing through a little flea market I knew off. Could always open for interesting conversations! Plus, it’s nice weather outside.
The second one was gutsier. There’s a boxing workout session at 13.00. I’d always wanted to try it out, but the excuse that I’d want someone to do it with me has held me back. But, for a first meeting that might be a bit… Don’t know, but I identified it as a fear, so that meant I had to ask. We’ll see what she says!
Quick reply – It’s the stroll just after lunch. That means I ‘ve got time for a workout. Let’s make it a fear facing one?
– The workout.
If you saw my video last Sunday I shared my love-hate relationship with dancing. When I’m immersed in it and are one with the beat – it’s one of the greatest experiences. But when my head is running the show, it’s a different story. But I’ve decided to bring more moving and dancing into my life, owe it to myself. I’m going to trust the process of being uncomfortable a whole lot before getting to a state were the moments of joy are more than the painful ones.
So, in the spirit of this, I decided to check if there were any dancing group classes. I looked at the Friskis & Svettis group schemes and they had a “medium gymnastics”-thingy at 09.00. But the guy having this one mostly do dancing routines throughout the 50-minute session. Fear identified. Or I should say Fears.
When it comes to training, there’s always an alternative cost for me. I can always do the strength lifting. Which I love but is very comfortable in terms of “I know what I get”. So, I’m giving that up for a training session which might be “lighter”. I have this idea of training having to be really hard. At least this is the story my mind keeps trying to make me buy into for not trying new workouts. I didn’t buy it today. I signed up 5 minutes before it got started.
When I entered the training room I could see about 50-60 people in there. 95% ladies. 5% guys, all over 45. Another story my mind tries to tell me, is how these group sessions are uncool and unmanly. I know this isn’t the case. To me being “a real man” is about being myself and daring to express that. Daring to be vulnerable.
I want to dance, hence I’m going to do it. HOWEVER, it doesn’t stop my mind from bombarding me with these shitty thoughts in a last effort to get out of it. I’m in, and I’m staying. Period. You need your awareness and sound thinking to call your bluffs and don’t let them impact your decisions. Awareness – practice it through journaling, meditation or doing this!
It was a great workout. Had moments of pure joy when I was one with the beat of the music and the movements of the body. The feeling of unity and belonging to a group of people moving synchronized and sharing sweat and laughter – that’s powerful.
But mostly I’m proud over how I effectively deflected the negative self-judging thoughts throughout the session. And of course, for facing my fears and going down there and doing it. More of this to come!
– The walk and talk
I felt good about meeting up with her. Nice workout, nice mood, nice weather, and why not top this day off with hanging out with a nice girl! Not really that nervous either since I’d felt we connected well.
But still, some fears present. Some emotions flying around inside of me. I mean, I don’t do these things every week. The good thing about having too many things going on in your life is that you don’t always have time to overthink and get worrisome. Time really can be your greatest enemy, or the lack of it your best.
I was one minute late when I came around the corner where I’d expected here to be. Yepp. There she was. Her hair let out and a red Fjällräven backpack lighting up her presence. She was looking into the window of the ÖoB store, dangling with her arms. Looked like she was a bit restless. Good setup for a walk n’ talk! She turned around and saw me, big smile. I smiled back. Right there and then I knew we were going to have a good time.
Routine #2 Doing new things:
– Hummus clean up
I have to come clean. Yesterday I wrote the whole thing about me doing my own homemade Hummus, before actually doing it! I’d know I do it If I wrote it. It’s like visualization practices, but even more powerful. However, I totally forgot about it! So instead, that’s what’s going down in my kitchen today.
…it’s late evening now and I still haven’t done it. Damn. Well, guess I know what I’m doing after posting on this one!
Almost every Sunday for more then 2,5 years I’ve been posting a video, no exception today:
What Fear facing moments & New things are happening in your life today??
See you tomorrow,