MONDAY, FUN DAY! Ah, I just love life right now. I probably shouldn’t be going around saying stuff like that, or at least I used to think like that before I stopped caring so much what people thought of me. I wonder how many people that have ‘strong emotions’ towards me for being that guy. You know that guy? If you ever saw the Friends episode with Phoebes new boyfriend that everybody had ‘strong emotions’ towards because he was just so over the top excited about everything – that’s the guy. Sometimes I can’t help but to do a split-second comparison when I’ve said something that might just had been a tad too enthusiastic.
But it’s just not true – I do have problems, which I’ve quite openly talked about in this blog. And that Phoebes boyfriend was annoying like crazy. I have the opinion that it’s alright – and sometimes necessary – to vent negative thoughts and emotions. But I don’t believe in sharing them openly over and over again. Especially not without doing something about it, or when there’s even something that can be done about it. Like the weather or traffic jams.
But I do believe that friends and certain people should listen, empathise and support when everything just feels like shit. And perhaps come with a new clear perspective. Now I’m a bit of hypocrite for saying this, because I fall into this trap myself ones and a while. But I really, really try not to.
Click the image if you want a short video summary of the book
Because I do believe in being aware and take in what you’re felling. Accepting those thoughts and emotions that are present. Not trying to supress them, but instead embrace them. It’s not until then we are able to objectively do something about whatever is making us miserable. It’s called taking responsibility, and it’s a mindset that can make all the difference.
“I am responsible for my choices and actions. To be ‘responsible’ in this context means responsible not as the recipient of moral blame or guilt, but responsible as the chief causal agent in my life and behaviour.”
– Nathaniel Branden, The Six pillars of Self-Esteem
If something happens to me, I go through this process of 1. Being Conscious. 2.Self-Acceptance. 3. Self-responsibility. I get better and better at handling whatever is thrown at me, and the ‘reactive Alex’ has a far less impact on my life today. But it hasn’t come without a whole lot of practice and work. Now, I may not be able to control or impact some external things that happens to me, like a rainy day or a flat tire, but I am the one in charge of how I decide to respond to those things. The actions I take and what mental state I chose to be in. That’s why I can take my flat tires with a smile on my face 5 o clock in the morning in the middle of the dark.
“Okay, this gives me some extra time to listen to this audiobook. And I’m going to be here whether I like it or not, so I just might as well enjoy it as best I can”
I’m not saying this approach is ‘the one way to live life’ and an absolute truth. But it’s my current belief of what a god way of living looks like. And it’s an approach I’ve adopted after reading Nathaniel Branden’s Book The Six pillars of self-esteem a bunch(!) of times. I’ve recently decided to never ‘get stuck’ on one thing as the holy truth. I aim to always be open to and explore other views and perspectives – and that goes for all kinds of areas. History tells us that we tend to get things wrong.
But so you see, the reason for me loving life a bit extra much in this very moment is because I just got home. And that means I just had a run, since I either run or bike to work. And when I run, especially when I push myself a bit extra as I tend to do when the fridge is within reach (is there a stronger motivator than food?), the endorphin release in my body is just.. It’s just freaking amazing! Getting high every day. Two times a day. Love it. That’s also why people tend to get the overly excited answer, as they usually ask how I’m doing when come in at work in the morning – just after workout. And I just can’t contain myself in those moments; ‘It’s absolutely fantastic! ‘ .
Have a great day guys,
/Alexander
P.S if you missed this week’s Challenges, which is all about implementing some habits that will benefit your social skill development – here it is:
