How to add value & connect with anybody – Evaluation of the weekly challenge #29
Alexander Nilsson, Stockholm, 2016-10-14
First, a quick reminder for why we did this challenge! Basically, the reason was to practice the skill of connecting with anybody by following a guy named Michael Ellsberg framework, as he had been major successful by applying the method he shares. To be specific, the focus of his video, which I based the challenge on, was how to connect with powerful and influential people. He said he did this by having an add value mind-set – to give and not ask for anything in return.
So that was the task of the week, try to connect with – not only new people but old and new friends as well – people by helping them out through steering the conversation towards and identified pre-determined area where we knew we had some extensive experience or knowledge in, and hence could give good advice, or knew people that in turn could help out.
All good so far! And I was really excited about this challenge, because the previous week challenge had made me taste blood, where I was supposed to meet up with three friends during the week and have quality time. Part of that quality time also meant that friends help each other out – and I really got to experience the good feeling of being able to inspire and help my friends. And with those good experiences in mind, I thought this challenge would be a walk in the park. Boy did I turn out to be walking in a park with grass and weeds up to my knees.
The challenge did also say that we were supposed to help out in every situation where we interacted with people during the week – deepening the connection with our current relations. Because helping people out doesn’t only connect you with powerful and influential people – we’re all human beings taking a like to a person when we’re getting help! And that’s what’s been om may agenda throughout the week, every situation and interaction I’ve gone in to. WITH my identified expertise area, I’ve been focused to steer the interaction towards; personal development, health, wellbeing and training, depending on the person and the context.
I quickly come to realise that this wouldn’t be an easy week challenge – as I first thought.
However, not in any way trying to be pushy or sell my “solution” or view on life. That’s not how you do it if you ask me; a great leader leads and inspire by showing how it’s done through action, living what he preaches. But I guess that’s another topic, but one could still have a conversation in a topic and being humble in how to share your point of view when giving advices. And that’s what I’ve been doing this week, although as I just said, it was way harder than I anticipated Mostly because it takes some time to get into a deep connection interaction, and at work where I spent the whole week in the social context, it wasn’t too easy to reach that level of conversation – as time being the limiting factor. Although it did happen a couple of times, and I do feel that I’ve deepened the connection to a lot of co-workers at work as a result of this challenge.
BUT, connecting with new people – which was a big part of the focus – requires that you actual meet new people! The plan was to attend some kind of networking event during the week, but that didn’t happen! Why? Because everyday life happened, and I didn’t plan this detail out in advance, I just figured it will solve itself. Or I don’t know what I thought. But as soon as the week starts to roll, I just become reactive for all the stuff that happens, and everything that needs to be done. That’s why weekly planning is so so important – or in the case of a weekly challenge, really go through the strategy and game plan so you know how to play the game. So in this perspective, I failed big time. But as you all know i keep preaching; failure is growth – if you make sure to learn from it! And I really do, PREPARATION IS KEY! Keeps echoing in the back of my head, and I feel disappointed at myself, but I also know when I emotions like these are present, and it is at these times, you really have the possibility of learning for real. That’s why I don’t fully buy into the saying of learning from others mistakes, because there’s no personal emotion created to that event, so that means it doesn’t trigger any alarms sounds when a recognizable pattern starts to emerge.
BUT, the biggest takeaway from this week’s challenge is how I have fundamentally shifted into seeing myself as a 24/7 “helper” – a person that has a deep interest in helping people out when interacting with them. Now of course I’ve been wanting to do that earlier – that’s a big reason for Why I started this channel! But that has maybe been more in a directed focus towards an interested audience. But this week’s focus gave me a new identity somehow, or tweaked my old one. And I like it, I like it a lot. Because it really is a priceless feeling – the feeling of knowing you inspired and helped someone out.
And I strongly think that is a mind-set you should adopt as well, also, have this mind-set when you take in new knowledge, learning for teaching to others, because that’s really when you force yourself to understand everything on a whole deeper level; because you know you are going to want to explain this to so many other people; spreading the message. And that’s a powerful lesson that can change the way you go through life dramatically.
Thank you for this week’s challenge – and see you Sunday for the next one. Know go enjoy the weekend; because you’ve earned it!
Just to sum it up – The major conclusions from this week’s challenge are:
- Plan better – preparations are key!
- Connection requires energy; you need to make sure you take care of yourself (sleep, food, traning, mindfulness) because if your toast, you will not be able to create those deep connection, unless your close to soulmates – and you can’t count on that!
- This is a tuff challenge that requires planning, effort and being on top of your game and being able to push yourself when you need to step out of your comfort zone.
- It’s a mindset to be a “helper” that fundamentaly can change you as a person and how you behave and act by reaction – a powerful mindset.
Music in this epsiode:
This week’s challenge introduction video:
Read the full test on:
The talk that this video is based on:
How to Connect with Powerful and Influential People
Michael Ellsberg is the author of The Education of Millionaires (Penguin, 2011)
SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge
WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays
FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge
Join us, raise your standards, and start the journey to become the person you’ve always wanted to be,
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/With Love, Alexander