Hey guys, in this video I’m going to present you a small little weekly challenge to make you face your social fears and repetitively push yourself out of your comfort zone to talk to anyone, anytime anywhere and enjoy the heck out of it – even if fails miserably! A daily little habit of small social pushes that makes all the difference.
Just Imagine a future version of yourself, where you speak and acted as that confident person that you have the potential to be, the kind of person that knows what he wants and therefore goes after exactly that. Take a moment and reflect over what different kind of life you could be living. The persons you’d meet, the experiences you’d have, not to mention the great affect it would have on your career. It’s all possible – not letting fear dictate your actions.
Now at least that’s the kind of life I want to live. And that’s why I put up these weekly challenges and been DOING THESE SOCIAL FEAR CHALLENGES FOR ALMOST 17 WEEKS NOW. With varying results in terms of the interaction, but most of the times a win in terms of facing my fears and building social confidence and self-esteem. And the repetitive action has started to grow into what’s well on its way to transform into an autonomous habit.
So how do we do this? The idea of it is very simple, the execution not so much. “Facing fear challenges” means that we are to expose ourselves to a social situation with a specific question, request or action in mind that puts you out of your comfort zone! For instance, approaching a girl, doing some flirting asking for a date. OR like I did last week, deciding to talk to a person by every stop I had to do by a crosswalk on the bike. I did both these things last week, and it sure as heck was both hard and fun!
The great thing with these challenges is that it’s a win win no matter the outcome, as long as we pull the trigger! We put up a goal, and then we go after it and by doing so building self-esteem. So just this very action, approaching, asking the question makes us have our first Victory! That means we need to do things that align with your values beliefs or goals, which is the first out of the two rules we have. Simply living our true selves and going after the things we want in life is the number one action you can take to build self-esteem. TACKING ACTION. I talk more about this in my Self-esteem building videos!
The result is that we desensitize ourselves from getting turned downed, rejected and controlled by our thoughts and emotions. We want to create a new association to the feeling we get inside of us when a scary idea/thought pops up. A new association that makes us think – from eventually more and more experience – that it will be a thrilling, exciting little add to our day, that moves us forward in life!
If you do this over and over again you start to shape a sustainable awesome habit (The Habit Loop).
Because don’t get me wrong, the fear doesn’t disappear, at least not for me, but the fear starts to work as a trigger – a cue – for us that makes our dopamine craving brain shine up like a firework on new year’s eve. The fear becomes that que that we should start doing our routine – pushing through the fear – so we can get to the reward, that sense of proudness for doing what we sat out to do. An explosion of adrenaline and good feeling hormones.
Monday through Friday do one daily social push. You can either specify the area or action you’re going to do. Like the relationship area – approaching and flirting with girls. Or small social pushes, like starting to talk to people in the grocery store or asking people for the time. Now It’s context dependent and you should gradually push yourself further and further out of your comfort zone.
Being unspecified means looking for opportunities throughout the day and act when you see one. This requires awareness and being alert to the surrounding. I’d say an easier way is to plan ahead, it could for instance be talking to one girl each day. But it requires time to plan as well, so the lazy one ironically goes for the unplanned. Which also adds a bit of excitement. The downside is that you seldom reach those real big things – like calling a specific role model of yours ( like I’ve done ).
1# The action/request/question need to align with your goals, values or beliefs! if you go out and do something just to get rejected, but it interferes with your moral or what you believe in, it will decrease your self-esteem. AND THE SECOND RULE IS THAT you’re not allowed to lie! Own the situation; tell the exact reason for why you’re doing what you’re doing, then try to manipulate your way to a yes. Honesty is key to building self-esteem
So, you decide what level you want to take this to! I’d love to hear your story down there in the comments, and if f you want that extra push, make sure to commit to be, and you’ll think twice before bailing on yourself!
For me this week, I’m going to be having a relationships focus. Still want to meet a girl, and this week I feel hungry for a date. So I’m going to try to approach my way into a date before this week is over!
I’ll be posting some videos in the week, however I’m having a new role at work this week, meaning I’m’ not sure how much time it’ll be for editing. We’ll see!
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My name is alexander, thank you for watching and thank you for beingn awesome. Bye guys.
Check out my previous 15 weeks of Rejection Therapy / Facing Fear Challenges:
SUNDAYS: New Weekly Personal Development Challenge
WEEK DAYS: Depending on the challenge, but at least one Video/Vlog at the Wednesdays
FRIDAY: Evaluation of Week Challenge
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